> There are certain chemicals that can adversely affect the brain and, by a side effect of their use, produce an euphoric sensation.

Truth!

I have discovered that the agricultural and pharmaceutical industries have been covertly cooperating to introduce several highly psychoactive substances into the most basic of foods that sustain us and our children. It is fact that many of these substances are terminally addictive and, when removed from the diet of a known druggie, cause them to waste away inexorably- sometimes fatally- until consumption of the drugs is resumed.

I cannot disclose the full list of substances at this time, but two of the most common are known in the scientific literature as "glucose" and "fructose."

Please join me in my crusade to ban these dangerous drugs from our food immediately.