INSTANT REVIEW : Closer
A movie about 4 people who know how to cheat on each other.
Natalie Portman still sucks at acting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006) 4/5
Starts off quirky-strange and gradually turns creepy-strange. Protagonist is oddly endearing, but perhaps that's just me. Worth watching for the twist at the end alone.
INSTANT REVIEW: Weekend at Bernie's 2
Stupid fucking movie. Departs from the somewhat realistic scenario of the first one and goes right into the supernatural. They're not even at Bernie's and it may or may not even be a weekend. Very fun to watch with other people.
<b>INSTANT REVIEW:</b> Intouchables
Pretty OK. Made me laugh some times, I rather enjoyed myself watching it. The only thing that buggs me is the thing they always do in dramas: They tell you how life went on etc. I'd rather see it having the black dude just walk away after waving and the credits rolling in. An open ending.
INSTANT REVIEW: Man Of Tai Chi
Keanu Reeves is Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat: Legend Of The Truman Show.
(・ω・＼)SAN値!(／・ω・)／ピンチ!(・ω・＼)SAN値!(／・ω・)／ピンチ!(・ω・＼)SAN値!(／・ω・)／ピンチ!(・ω・＼)SAN値!(／・ω・)／ピンチ!
これはアメリカのゲームです。１度やってみてください。
これは、たった３分でできるゲームです。試してみてください。
驚く結果をご覧いただけます。
このゲームを考えた本人は、メールを読んでからたった１０分で願い事が
かなったそうです。このゲームは、おもしろく、かつ、あっと驚く結果を貴方にもたらすでしょう。
約束してください。絶対に先を読まず、１行ずつ進む事。
たった３分ですから、ためす価値ありです。
まず、ペンと、紙をご用意下さい。
先を読むと、願い事が叶わなくなります。
①まず、１番から、１１番まで、縦に数字を書いてください。②１番と２番の横に好きな３～７の数字をそれぞれお書き下さい。
③３番と７番の横に知っている人の名前をお書き下さい。（必ず、興味の
ある性別名前を書く事。男なら女の人、女なら男の人、ゲイなら同姓の名
前をかく）
必ず、１行ずつ進んでください。先を読むと、なにもかもなくなります。
④４，５，６番の横それぞれに、自分の知っている人の名前をお書き下さい。これは、家族の人でも知り合いや、友人、誰でも結構です。
まだ、先を見てはいけませんよ！！
⑤８、９、１０、１１番の横に、歌のタイトルをお書き下さい。
⑥最後にお願い事をして下さい。さて、ゲームの解説です。
１）このゲームの事を、２番に書いた数字の人に伝えて下さい。
２）３番に書いた人は貴方の愛する人です。３）７番に書いた人は、好きだけれど叶わぬ恋の相手です。
４）４番に書いた人は、貴方がとても大切に思う人です。
５）５番に書いた人は、貴方の事をとても良く理解してくれる相手です。
６）６番に書いた人は、貴方に幸運をもたらしてくれる人です。
７）８番に書いた歌は、３番に書いた人を表す歌。
８）９番に書いた歌は、７番に書いた人を表す歌。９）１０番に書いた歌は、貴方の心の中を表す歌。
１０）そして、１１番に書いた歌は、貴方の人生を表す歌です。
この書き込みを読んでから、１時間以内に１０個の掲示板にこの書き込みをコピーして貼って下さい。そうすれば、あなたの願い事は叶うでしょう。もし、貼らなければ、願い事を逆のことが起こるでしょう。とても奇妙ですが当たってませんか？
INSTANT REVIEW: Pompeii
Evil Jack Bauer swordfight!
INSTANT REVIEW: Godzilla 2014
f'in awesome even though the big G has put on a lot of weight
INSTANT REVIEW: Elysium (2013) (3/5)
Character motivation? Not found. Sci-fi melodrama? 16,653 matches found! It's like District 9, but not as good.
INSTANT REVIEW: Philomena (2013) (5/5)
Posters make it look like a comedy. It isn't. Basically, exhibit #1,304,222 in the case against the Catholic Church in Ireland fifty years ago. It's really good.
INSTANT REVIEW: How I Live Now (2013) (3/5)
A teenage romance meets Mad Max. Sort of. A vapid teenaged POV of the end of the world, which is kind of interesting, because who cares what adults think? They're old and lame. Fuck you mom and dad. Almost worth it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dallas Buyers Club (2013) (5/5)
The early history of AIDS is fascinating and you should care about it. Matthew McConaughey thought so much of it, he damn near killed himself through starvation for his role in this film.
INSTANT REVIEW: Moneyball (2011) (4/5)
You can't buy your way to the baseball playoffs. Oh wait, yes you can. But you can also, math/autism your way into it too. If you don't like sports, don't bother.
INSTANT REVIEW: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) (2/5)
Pretty much like Star Trek III: it advances the plot in important ways, but overall, it sucks.
INSTANT REVIEW: Terminator: Salvation (2009) (3/5)
Given the track record of the series, better than you'd expect. There sure are a lot of beautiful people with perfect teeth, given society collapsed 15 years ago...
INSTANT REVIEW: Children Underground (2001) (4/5)
If I commit suicide in the next week, you can go ahead and blame this movie. Jesus Christ...
INSTANT REVIEW: The Baader Meinhof Complex (2008) (4/5)
Remember when there were left-wing Palestinian terrorist organizations? Me neither, but this drama about leftist German terrorists is pretty good.
INSTANT REVIEW: God Bless America (2011) (4/5)
If you chose to read this thread rather than watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey, you'll probably like this.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001) (3/5)
An nice little film adaptation of an off-broadway musical about a tranny before being a tranny became passé and rolleyes. I especially like the part about East German gummy bears.
INSTANT REVIEW: Munich (2005) (4/5)
Thinking of messing with Israel? Here's why you shouldn't. Mossad don't give a fuck.
INSTANT REVIEW: Walk on Water (2004) (4/5)
Mossad continues to not give a fuck. Murders dudes in their 90s for relatively minor war crimes (is there such a thing?). Nice settings/cinematography.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dredd (2012) (2/5)
Better than the '95 version, but mostly it's murder porn. If any movie of late deserved an NC-17 for violence, it's this one. Has it's moments, but these are interrupted by fountains of blood.
INSTANT REVIEW: Nebraska (2013) (5/5)
My only gripe is that it's in black and white. Otherwise, excellent. Watch it!
INSTANT REVIEW: Attack the Block (2011) (3/5)
Would probably be better if I could understand what they're saying. If you like low-class urban English accents, here's the horror-comedy you've been waiting for. Americans: watch with subtitles.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) (3/5)
A weak showing by Wes Anderson, but still quite good if you like his work. Ralph Fiennes can do comedy too, turns out.
INSTANT REVIEW: Interstellar (2014) (4/5)
High concepts, beautiful filmmaking, and Matthew McConaughey IN SPACE. It'll get you thinking. Pretty good.
INSTANT REVIEW: Silver Linings Playbook (2012) (3/5)
Has some good performances. De Niro being De Niro is a bit distracting, though. Trigger warning: dance competition.
INSTANT REVIEW: Grey Gardens (1975) (2/5)
Those harpies shouting EDITH! at one another from across their dilapidated mansion will be the only thing you'll hear in your nightmares for weeks. Groundbreaking and often referenced in popular culture, but not worth it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Upstream Color (2013) (3/5)
At-times inept dialog and sound mixing balanced out by a mind-blowing concept and a unique visual presentation.
INSTANT REVIEW: Lincoln (2012) (3/5)
A fine piece of American propaganda that will only appeal to Americans. Basically a good way to string together clever anecdotes about Lincoln. Foreigners won't even know who that is.
INSTANT REVIEW: Looper (2012) (4/5)
This review is nearly three years late, so I'll just go ahead and spoil it: if more than one time traveler tries to kill you kid, you can safely assume your kid is Future Hitler.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hobo with a Shotgun (2011) (3/5)
Dumb as hell, but shot in an interesting way. If the trailer from Grindhouse appealed to you, you'll probably get a kick out of it.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Rover (2014) (3/5)
Another pointless plot that could have been cleared up with this new thing they have called "wroting" or whatever it's called. Gains points mostly for its cool dystopian setting and proving that the male lead from those teenage vampire movies can actually act.
Read the entire thread from top to bottom. Good job.
>reads tread
> all posts sound the like same cancer
> are the same cancer
>>439
I think you're the one who's the cancer here, buddy.
INSTANT REVIEW: Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) (4/5)
This series keeps increasing the action somehow. Given that, I can only assume the next one will cause half of all otherwise healthy adults viewing it to drop dead from heart attacks. JESUS.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shoot 'Em Up (2007) (2.5/5)
I'm left wondering how one trains for skydiving gun battles and why you'd have so many people qualified to do so on staff. The rest of the movie is entirely plausible, of course.
INSTANT REVIEW: Coherence (2013) (3/5)
Every character in this is so insufferable you'll be hoping something bad will happen to them. You won't be disappointed. A nice little low-budget mind-fuck.
INSTANT REVIEW: Spectre (2015) (4/5)
It's like they have a checklist of types of fights to have in the movie: fist, gun, knife, etc. That got mixed up with their list of cool vehicles to include somehow. You won't be bored.
Twitter sighing and video of Tom in a restaurant, didn't see EO but then again maybe Tom got her a bigger purse to hide behind for Christmas.
Oh sorry I posted that in the wrong thread.. Oops.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Hateful Eight (2015) (4/5)
It's like The Mousetrap but with foul language and violence. Not sure why this had to be on 70mm film, since most of it takes place indoors (if you can call it indoors), but whatever.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Big Short (2015) (5/5)
Everyone in Hollywood and Anthony Bourdain explain the 2008 banking crisis with a healthy spoonful of gallows humor. Financial thriller/comedy is a genre that needs expansion.
INSTANT REVIEW: Deadpool (2016) (3/5)
Not a fan of superhero stuff, but he's not much of a hero. Probably even funnier if you understand the comic book references. I had a good time.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hail, Caesar! (2016) (4/5)
If you've seen any movie from the 1950s, you'll understand. It's light on plot, but heavy on choreography. Like every movie from the 1950s, come to think of it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Batman vs. Superman (2016) (2/5)
I was contractually obligated to see this movie. Every character in this movie was contractually obligated to be there too. Ben Affleck's chin stars and written by some ten year-old, I'm guessing.
INSTANT REVIEW: Everest (2015) (2/5)
The story is basically everyone dies, one guy lives. It could have been fleshed out with some mountain climbing action, but it isn't.
INSTANT REVIEW: Warcraft (2016) (4/5)
A video game movie with pacing issues, giving much focus to characters of little to no importance. Looks pretty. Sounds pretty. Does not require knowledge of the video game before watching.
INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek Beyond (2016) (3/5)
Fast & Furious In Space was too outlandish even for those guys, so instead they made this. It works. Maybe the odd-numbered ones will be the good ones this time around.
Tom just tweeted about vulnerable children in Africa. Admirable. I think he's trying to reclaim his prior image as a humanitarian/thespian. Let's light a candle that he can phase shift away from the relationship spectacle tabloid stories.
Tom Hiddleston Verified account
@twhiddleston
This is very frightening. Child soldier "nightmare" could be imminent in South Sudan - UNICEF: http://tmsnrt.rs/2bBY0u1 @UNICEF_uk
5:19 PM - 19 Aug 2016
INSTANT REVIEW: The X-Files (Fight the Future) (1998) (5/5)
Plays out like an extended episode of The X-Files. If you like the X-Files, you'll love the movie too. If you've never seen it before, probably not the best introduction. Scully is cute as hell too. Lots of tundras. The return of the Black Oil.
INSTANT REVIEW: Don't Breathe (2015) (1/5)
It isn't scary enough to cover up the thin plot. The twist isn't enough to cover up the shallow characters. However, it does get this year's award for least-realistic HVAC system in cinema, which is good for a laugh.
Supposed to be (2016). That's one more swipe at this: it felt like this was would have been ground-breaking in the distant past.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Nice Guys (2016) (3/5)
One of the best buddy cop pictures in a long time with a great setting. Unfortunately, if you've seen the trailer, you've seen all the best parts. If you haven't, you're in luck!
INSTANT REVIEW: Limits Of Control (2009) (3/5)
Beautiful cinematography is the real highlight of a film that is slow with an insubstantial story.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Giver
Basically Brave New World with film tropes from Logan's Run to Pleasantville. Secret appearance by Taylor Swift!
INSTANT REVIEW: Doctor Strange (2016) (4/5)
It's like Iron Man with magic. Well, more magic, I guess. Not a fan of comic book stuff, but I had a good time.
INSTANT REVIEW: Arrival (2016) (4/5)
It's nice to see some genuinely interesting sci-fi, but there's a whole subplot I just don't understand. Like, ethically. I enjoyed the ride anyway.
INSTANT REVIEW: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (4/5)
Not a rehash, which is nice. Stunning visuals. It's really too bad George Lucas didn't sell out sooner. Destroy your copies of the prequels to increase the chances that they'll become apocryphal in the distant future.
apocryphal isn't the word I'm thinking of. A myth?
INSTANT REVIEW: Logan (2017) (3/5)
Patrick Stewart brings his A-game to a B-movie. Probably the best Wolverine movie, but that's not exactly praise.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dunkirk (2017) (2/5)
There was a man outside the theater playing guitar and not singing, but instead just screaming. That's an interesting artistic choice, but not a good one. Pretty much sums up this movie for me.
INSTANT REVIEW: Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) (3/5)
No Rogue One, but it's still fun. Sassy bot is underplayed, if you were wondering. Also, may be the first Star Wars movie to make a convincing case for the empire being truly evil, which is coming awfully late for this series.
INSTANT REVIEW:A Fine, Windy Day (1980)
is a 1980 South Korean film written and directed by Lee Jang-ho.
I always knew that basically South Korea is just a rich Uzbekistan. They don't have ANY kind of culture. The level of poverty is shocking, and unless you're a lawyer or a media tycoon, your life in this country would be pure hell. fuck korea
INSTANT REVIEW: Venom (2018) (2.5/5)
I just re-watched X-Men: Apocalypse and I bet I couldn't tell you anything about the plot. It'll be the same with this one. Fun in quotation marks full stop
INSTANT REVIEW: Cop Car (2015) (3/5)
Kevin Bacon should play a villain more often. He does creepy and unhinged really well. Totally worth included-with-purchase of whatever streaming service this was on.
INSTANT REVIEW: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019) (3/5)
If you're sick and tired of those goddamned hippies, this is the movie for you! Hippie abuse abounds.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ad Astra (2019) (2/5)
Brad Pitt talks about his feelings. And I do mean he talks about them, because he doesn't act them.
INSTANT REVIEW: Climax (2018) (2/5)
Shit gets fucked, no one learns anything. The soundtrack is cool, though.
INSTANT REVIEW: Joker (2019) (1/5)
Joaquin Phoenix is amazing, but that was previously established. The movie is dreary and uncomfortable with bits of dumb comic book lore pasted over it to make it all that much worse.
INSTANT REVIEW: Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019) (2/5)
Jay and Silent Bob never got their much-deserved sequel in outer space, so we have to suffer through this instead. There are a few jokes, but not enough to make this good.
INSTANT REVIEW: Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker (2019) (2/5)
You won't be bored at all. If you don't ask any questions at all, you'll have a good time. If you ask even one question, it's a mess. A complete mess.
>>488
Tons. As always. A lot of spaceship battles take place in atmosphere in this one though, so that might be the ONE thing about this movie that makes sense! I found one! I found one!
INSTANT REVIEW: 1917 (2019) (3/5)
Scenic tour of the western front
INSTANT REVIEW: Dead Within (2014) (2/5)
An extremely low-rent zombie apocalypse piece that mostly takes place in the formerly fashionable summer home of former yuppies. Now they're just crazed survivors like all who remain living. The best bits of this movie involve the poor selection of food/drink available to them six months later.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Water Diviner (2015) (3/5)
Russell Crowe's character goes looking for his dead sons in Gallipoli in 1919 using his divining powers, because that's real. He and his dead kids keep getting in the way of the real hero of the story: a grizzled Turkish officer who has a lot to say about those filthy Aussies invading his country.
INSTANT REVIEW: Pulgasari (2/5)
The North Korean answer to Godzilla. A lot of things got hurt by this project: actors, livestock, and the kaiju genre to name a few. Appears to star the Korean People's Army for some epic medieval battle scenes. Not against the monster, though. He's hardly in it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Nemesis (1992) (2.5/5)
It's about some good cyborgs battling evil cyborgs in the near future. Everyone is a heavily armored robot, so they take a lot of hits to go down. Their battles are completely ridiculous and involve aircraft cannons eventually. It's not good, but it's not boring.
i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans