I hate Michael Cera, his movies, and all that he stands for. Party because he's an ugly, awkward man-child, party because he gets to be in movies with girls that range form ok to hot, but mostly because he gives all the other ugly, overweight, awkward, annoying man-children of the world the idea that women wayyyyy out of their league(Because even the ok ones are too good for him) will want to be with you if they only you can make them realize that your a quirky, awkward special snowflake!

If you resemble Michael Cera in looks, personality, or any other way, please realize that you are a horrible person and no one will ever love you in any way. You can either kill yourself or accept this, shut the hell up, and try not to a be too much of a burden.