!!! WARNING !!! The following scenario requires moderately intimate knowledge of the Touhou Project to be fully understood.
[X] Check party to properly prepare equipment and skill sets before battle.
Unsure of exactly why you are doing it, you check your party.
> CYOA Protagonist (class: warrior)
> 2-Amino-3-(1H-indol-3-yl)propanoic acid-chan (class: mage)
> Reimu Hakurei (class: miko)
...Wait, what?!
You turn to face the suddenly very obvious shrine maiden, who stares back at you with heavy lidded, world weary eyes. She speaks with lips which look better suited to a smoking cigarette.
"What do you want?"
Despite the fact you feel you should be used to dealing with young women appearing out of nowhere by now, you still only manage to blurt out the first vaguely sensible thing that comes to mind.
"I... um... well y'see there's this pack of youkai over there and..."
She lunges forward before you have even finished speaking, her gohei raised over her head and her face contorted in the start of a savage battle cry.
"No! Wait! I have to properly prepare our party's equipment first!"
The look she gives you says more than words ever could.
> CYOA Protagonist - Equipment:
>> Plot armour
>> Encyclopedic knowledge of organic chemistry
> 2-Amino-3-(1H-indol-3-yl)propanoic acid-chan - Equipment:
>> Plot armour
>> Power of love
> Reimu Hakurei
>> Gohei
>> Spellcard (x6)
>> Sexy miko armpits
"My name is Squeeks and are you sodding well done yet?"
"N- no, I, um, still have to check the skill sets..."
The hesitant revelation is greeted with a chorus of tutting, sighs and rolled eyes.
> CYOA Protagonist - Skill set
>> Strength: 7
>> Agility: 4
>> Wisdom: 12
>> Charm: 5
"You know what, I don't fucking care any more."
The ribbon clad woman practically spits the words at you, before lunging forwards once more, aiming straight at the Prismriver sisters. The table denizen locks eyes with your lover and you face the remaining enemy - Squeeks. Seeing how the battle is turning out, you decide to try to land the first punch.
You ready your fist and swing it wildly towards his ridiculous face, hoping to god you don't end up sinking your hand into his shit-hat. Before the blow lands your vision is filled with a huge image of Reimu smirking and the text "Dream Sign uEvil Sealing Circlev".
As you flinch backwards in the least manly way imaginable, 2-Amino-3-(1H-indol-3-yl)propanoic acid-chan shouts at you to "Get the fuck out of the way". You dive backwards only to see her struggle into a black and white frilled witch's dress, before donning a laughably oversized pointed hat. She takes out her hakkero, mutters to it softly and thrusts it forwards with a shout;
"Love Sign uMaster Sparkv!"
~~~~
Even so many decades later, the image remains etched in your mind of the five meter wide laser tearing through the air in front of your beloved's face. That night you may have lost your sight, but you also lost something much more important.
2-Amino-3-(1H-indol-3-yl)propanoic acid-chan - or should I say Marisa Kirisame - did apologise. She apologised for permanently blinding you, for lying to you about her identity, for taking advantage of your obsession with organic chemistry, for vaporising six people and half your kitchen, but in the end a betrayal this deep cannot be nullified with mere words.
Your innocence stripped from you, you grow to be a bitter blind old man. You never read, hear or speak about organic chemistry again.
THE END