>>2 The time of the joke
>>3-6 List of items required
>>7-12 Step by step instructions
>>13 Title of the joke
>>14 The target of the joke

1. Remove the lid carefully. Apply antifreeze, anti-hydrogen and arsenic to the wound before lathering the area of affect in the solution. Chant the name of whichever game you played last, followed by the platform of operation. Continue removing the lid. Do not falter upon incantation, or else.

Wait, wait. I'm all out of antihydrogen, but I just got a few milligrams of pure anti-nickel-iron alloy, right here in the magnetic suspension bottle. Will this do as a substitute?

2. Eat the fancy hearing cake. While under its influence, sneak into a library at night and replace all the computer keyboard keys with letter 'A' keys.

3. Mix together the pudding, aphrodisiac herbs and pig blood. Apply lubricant to the vinyl record, but leave some for step 4.

4. Hand >>29 the vinyl record. Being lubricated, it will slip right out of his hands! Wait for him to bend over to pick it up, then do the final step.