The bear you thought was your little sister rejects the cake and throws a shark at you. Now you have ruined a perfectly good afternoon by being dead.
Go to the land of the dead >>37
The weight of the bear immediately crushes your back and you fall unceremoniously onto the floor. The bear tumbles off and you lie on the floor, trying to groan in pain but unable due to the lack of air in your crushed lungs. It occurs to you that at least your body now matches your spineless personality. Haha. You die.
Go to >>37.
Upon opening the bag you instantly find yourself falling infinitely through a black hole that was in the bag. You see the bag in which you are already contained floating next to you.
To open the bay go to >>41
To kill yourself go to >>37
To randomly escape go to >>r0
To destroy the bag floating next to you go to >>238
"Excuse me, I would like to fashion some exquisite bone weapons," you say. "I was wondering if I could use your bones?"
"If you want our bones, you must make a trade," the sisterbear growls.
Her sinister tone makes you involuntarily gulp with fear.
"What kind of trade?" you ask.
"We will die, and you will harvest our bones. You will make three sets of the most exquisite bone weapons and armor in the world from our bones. One for me, one for the shark, and one for you. Then you will stab yourself in the chest with a bonesword and join us in the land of the dead."
"And what if I don't kill myself?" you ask.
"Then our bones will be forever cursed and bring you nothing but pain and misfortune."
"I see," you say. "Let me think."
To accept their offer, go to >>37, bringing Exquisite Bone Weapon and Armor Sets (x3) with you.
To betray your bearsister and the shark by harvesting their bones without killing yourself, go to >>61
To suggest going to the video arcade instead, go to >>21
You throw a left jab, the bear is surprised and drops her shark. It tries to claw you, you counter with an uppercut, and so in 2 strokes you fell the bear.
To harvest its bones and make bone weapons while making a sacrificial offering of two pairs of sets and killing yourself go to >>37.
To kill yourself go to >>37
To die of old age go to >>37
"Hey shark! Are you always gonna let that bear swing you 'round like you ain't no thang?" you demand.
The shark says something sharky.
"Don't give me that. You gotta have more respect for yo'self, sistah!"
Your sisterbear growls curiously.
"No, I didn't mean you. Sister was a figurative term."
Your sisterbear growls in disappointment.
"Anyway, shark, it's time to show that bear that she ain't the boss of you!"
The bear and shark begin quibbling with a confusing series of snarls and grunts. They gnash and they claw, they groan and they mumble. You are not quite sure how anything substantial might be communicated through these primitive sounds, but you assume that the bear and shark know instinctively through years of evolution how to interpret the subtle nuances.
Finally, the two stop arguing. They seem to have come to an agreement. You are the true enemy.
The bear throws a shark at you. Now you have ruined a perfectly good afternoon by being dead. You didn't even make any bone tools.
Go to the land of the dead >>37
Yoζζthe bζζkζζζ!!?
ζou have no Bone Weaponζ whatsoζverζζζ>>37ζ
If you ζζζjust a nζmal Bone Knife, it's nζζζenouζζgo baζζζk to >>37
Iζf yζ have Exquisite Bone Weapon and Armor Sets (x3) go to >>91 ζζhurζryζζfor GOD'S SAKE HURζζζζζζ
She runs away in terror of the bone creature she believes you to be. However you soon die of old age go to >>37
Welcome to 74, there's a large VIPPER standing in the door, so no matter how you got here you're leaving via >>37.
As you start to fill in the graph at G6 with 🎸 your opponent tells you this is not a valid move.
He assaults you with a fist full of his silver general and pikemen tiles insulted that you've picked up the board and are drawing on it.
He begins to beat you with his stool.
He then beats you with his poop.
The last thing you remember is when the thoughts left your mind and you were left only with feelings. >>37