It's a formal declaration of faith in God and America.

"It also guarantees you your rightful inheritance should something unbelievably awful happen to your brother. Now Jimbo I'm going to be straight with you, he's gone and gotten himself into trouble again, another one of those crazy business plans...you know how smart he is, as we've both always said too smart and brave for his own good. Well, he's done it this time. He's gone and gotten himself involved with communists. No, no, don't call the police. They have people there too, you know that, Jimbo. Please, sign the paperwork, go home and take care of your family, and Jimbo...listen close here...Jimbo, you take good care of your guns, you maintenance and oil them regularly and you keep one loaded under your pillow. If all goes well, your prayers and vigilance will pay off and he'll be back. If not...well, at least you'll get your share. I know you don't want to think about that, damn it, but those commie lawyers wouldn't let me inherit it all and so the rest goes either to you or to these god damn communists. It's lawyers, you know. I'm fighting them the only way I know how. But from now on, your family, you have to be known as the Rutherfords. You're Dalton Rutherford. It's complicated and I'm sorry to give you such a fruity name but the communists have us in a tight spot and if I don't act carefully they'll rape me. You wouldn't want that, would you Jimbo? Please, sign here and go to the game and don't worry too much. He's a smart guy, he'll pull through yet. DON'T tell anyone, not even your family. I didn't even want to have to tell you. If you know, you're at risk too. Stay safe, Jimbo. God bless you."

See if you can businesspee yet. Try to businesspee just a little in your casual undergarments to level up Bladder Control.