Alex Jones: There's some seedy shit going on in the world and I'm gonna tell you about it!
Me: Yeah! Tell us, Alex!
Alex: The global financial elite uses their wealth and influence to create political policies that favor them and hurt you, the common man! They seek to enrich themselves at your expense!
Me: Yeah! Preach on, what do we do about it?
AJ: First you have to buy one of my filters. Also, the global financial elite are actually interdimensional satan-worshipping pedophile vampires who want to strap your children into an intergalactic rape machine and suck out their psychic energy.
Me: ...