Ok guys, I'm 26, I never dated/kissed/sexed and barely speaked with girls, until 23 I barely went out of the house.
Now I have a full time job, where I recently met a girl of my age. She seems interested, probably because at work I'm normally at ease so I may not leak the "natural born loser" aura too much. But I'm sure she will forget me when she realizes I'm a geek. Anyway for now I got her number (bad move because now I'm in so deep shit that I can't see the sky anymore.)
Because of our work shifts we will only be able to see each other for a couple hours, late in the evening, meeting at the workplace... unless I wait for the next week end, which I don't want to do because she would forget me for sure.
Problem n.1 is I don't know where to go with her. I never "go out", I don't have friends. I could only pick a place at random (and going to a random place with a girl at night doesn't seem good... ok this isn't NY but incidents happen).
So WTF DO I DO NOW????????
I'd like to stay with her without having to confront the additional - and worse - anxiety of going to a pub (or whatever).
I was wondering if not going anywhere in particular would be okay... but we can't stay in a car for 2 hours either, what the hell can I do????
>>1
You have her number. While it doesn't say much, at least it says that she doesn't hate you, so you're not on her bad side.
For going out with her, seriously try to find a nice and comfortable cafe, preferably with couches so you 2 can sit near each other, or at least sit comfortable. If cafe is not an option, parks are always a good way to spend some time, wandering around, sitting on a bench etc.
What I have to tell you, is, do NOT, under any circumstances, utter the cliched words "date", "bf/gf", "love" or something like that. You see, this whole thing is like a game of cards. You and her both have cards in your hands, and you have to slowly play them. She plays one card, you play one card, maybe she'll play a negative one and you can react accordingly. Don't lay out all the cards at once, you'll be shooting yourself in the foot with this
There is no problem with waiting a week to call her and ask her out. If you rush you will seem annoying or desperate. It's better to wait a little, so wait until the weekend when you both have time, and then you will have time to look around the area beforehand for a nice place.
Hm. Well. If you're worried about not being able to talk to her comfortably, maybe you should watch a movie. That way, afterwards at least you'll have a topic to talk about.
But lots of times, movies get kind of... Boring. Actually, now that I think about it, bowling would be fun too! Bowling you can be bad at 'cause not everyone plays all the time. And since you'll be taking turns, you won't need to talk much, except for encouraging her and stuff. Yeah... Actually, bowling soudns good.
This is the fifth day that I have anxiety, even my mother just told me that I'm not eating anything lately. The tought of having to seem normal is killing me. I can't confront the girl AND the place at the same time. And what is a cafe` anyway???? Couches???
Give her a call tonight or now and ask her if she wants to get coffee at a coffee shop (aka cafe`) or a nice quiet place where you just spend 30-45 minutes where you can sit down and just talk to her. Just make it anytime during the week, try to avoid the weekend and evening because she might be busy and it also gives her the impression that you are busy.
I'll call on monday... hoping to be less agitated than now... I wish I could find that quiet place...
Good luck on the date.
Keep cool. Nothing terrible will happen if you meet her. Don't be afraid or ashamed, only yourself. You may or may not get to know each other better. Just act normal, don't act like you are under pressure or afraid, that will only ruin anything that could come out of it.
A cafe is a bar or restaurant? or whatever word you use in your language. Find a decent one you like and go with her there.
>>5
Don't get too worked up. I also fell in love and lost 12 kg....that's not going to help you or anyone else, so relax
>>8
Mmmmh, it's kinda hard to go casual to a restaurant, that's why cafes are better during the day, and bars during the night.
>>7
It's not that hard, just find a cafe which seems comfortable enough to chill in. I mean no busy ones where there are constantly people rushing and out, like Starbucks or whatever. If you can't find one, just ask your work colleagues really casual, for example "Ah damn, where the hell are there some nice cafes in this town? Yo Steve, can you recommend a nice comfortable one to chill around in?"
Don't be worried. Treat the 'date' like a walk in the park. Hey a walk in the park is good. Again spend about 30-45 minutes with her, to get to know her better. Think of it as you are giving an interview to her to see is she is worthy for an actual date. The cafe'/coffee shop date is nothing but a scouting report. YOu are the driver of your life and you want see if it is okay for her to ride with you. Remember you are in control. By the way give at least a few days between the call and the meeting to show you are not desperate for her. OP where are you from or at least what city? We can help you out with finding a place.