I had a long distance gf for 3 months then I broke up. We kissed and cuddled a lot but no sex so I'm still a virgin. I found her on a chat for social phobics. She was so much worse off than me and so desperately depressed that in the end I couldn't bear it and broke up. She also wasn't able to break free of her tyrannical mother so we couldn't even see each other more than twice a month. So I left. I left her alone without any friend, yes she was even more desperate than me... I left just because I couldn't picture myself living with such a depressed person and I didn't think it was right nor honest to stay with her only out of fear of being alone! But shit, I'm so hopeless. Now I know why girls don't want us otakus, what it means to be a "boring person", because I was with one and dumped her myself because of that!! What a miserable condition we live, not only are we unable to find a normal partner, but we can't even stay with our depressed kind!

I should die now but instead I will go cry in my bed thinking about Ayanami Rei, yes I love you Rei.. only you can understand me.. you are always there when I need you.. and -now I must add- thank goodness you aren't there when I don't.