Thanks for the replies.
Let me clarify some points. It's not about how I live my live, it's about doing something with it. There are too few people who could really make an intellectual contribution to civilization that'll benefit many, other than reproduction. However I do have my misgivings about uncontrolled reproduction..it leads to exponential growth curves, but that's well known so I won't dwell on it. The problem is more like I'd be cheating on the majority by favoring a minority with activities any old human can do. To me a 'normal' life seems pointless enough not to bother with it, it's no better than animals in the zoo.
Sorry for being so blunt and vulgar.