Yes. It sucks and you should probably sucker punch yourself in order to make you see it's never gonna come true and realize you're doing this unconsciously because you're either uninterested or afraid of relationships or getting to something big so you fall in love with people who are not available because that way you can never have a chance at trying having something real with them.
I don't know if I'm trolling you or being completely honest with my comment. This thread makes me angry and sad.