>1)
Channels that need to advertise having files are invariably crap, with no-one in them. Channels with plenty of fserves and decent files don't need to advertise (you will hear about them on the grapevine, as it were, if you're a regular in channels where people talk -- see #2).
>2)
Most people using IRC aren't doing so as an exclusive activity. As long as you don't expect them to be (and don't yourself) you'll be fine (and sooner or later a conversation will start). Also, like everywhere else, people are suspicious of newcomers. They will open up and will be more likely to converse with you once they are used to seeing you around. Eventually, if you earn their respect, you will be able to start conversations yourself.
>3)
I don't know what this is about, but then it's been a fair while since I've hung out in fserve chans. Maybe you're in the wrong place; or maybe things have changed; or maybe they're pissed at you for something else and you're misinterpreting them.
>4)
Of course they are. Chances are, the person at the other end is using their net connection themselves; it's only natural to expect them to upload to you slowly. Be grateful that they're sacrificing some of their bandwidth for your benefit. Especially if you're not actually serving files yourself.