have u considered consulting a psychiatrist?

if u do have schizophrenia, there are meds. it sucks to have any illness, mental or physical, but there are treatments so it is not the end of the world if u have schizophrenia. u should not feel shame bc it is not your fault, only a biological problem like diabetes and stuff.

do people around u see changes that trouble them? bc u may not see this view if u r mentally ill.