I'm 21 years old.
I lost my virginity around 20 days ago.
I knew things would get steamy, but I didn't think I would go all the way.
More than me losing it, but more of who I lost it to- I never liked that guy that way, he was a Joker but he annoyed me.
I remember in one of our conversations, he once said 'You know how to take a man to heaven'. I just 'lol'd' it off but I thought in my head 'Well, I won't ever be taking you there'.
After that night, I wanted to to it again, I remember.
What the fuck brain, I thought.
I've been crying now and then, right from the bus trip back to this day.
What adds to the guilt was- I wanted it at that point. I wanted it...but didn't want it. I wanted it too much to have fought away. My mind tends to replay the events of that fateful night, and goes off on alternate endings 'If you had just left that room...'
'If you didn't go on that holiday trip and rotted in your Hostel room instead...'
Side note- There is a lad I like, we talked everyday since I knew him in September. Whom I -wanted- to lose it to.
Why do you care? You're in a feminist world, just go full whore and enjoy yourself while putting male virgins on /r9k/ down.
Most people seem to be disappointed with (or regretful of) their first time. I wouldn't worry about it. If anything you are more adequately prepared (physically and mentally) for when you have sex with someone you truly care about, e.g. the boy you like.
Just relax and don't get too hung up about it. Most people have multiple sex partners throughout their lives, so it's not like everyone stays with the person they lose their virginity to.
>>2 this.
Look, you don't have to care about this sort of thing. It's a lot worse to not have had any experience with sex, isn't it?
My first time was awful, and in fact, I've only ever been with my ex-girlfriend who I couldn't stand. My only experiences with sex have been completely negative. I find the whole thing kind of disgusting, in fact. But then, that's not how it should be. Life isn't a fairy tale and you won't fall in love with your first partner. I just have some severe emotional problems, so you shouldn't be like me. Just keep on going and find the person who's right for you.
I was pressured into sex my first time and though I felt very bad about giving my first experience to a selfish girl, that feeling did pass and since then I have had good lovemaking experiences. You will too, femanon, and that will help you heal your regret. You know why you feel bad about it and that's a healthy beginning to healing too.
>>2
Dat thought :D
The lad I like is a virgin naughty grin :D
Thank you for sharing thoughts and experiences everyone.
I'd like to think I'm slowly coming out of it.
But I'm in a phase where I think I feel better but suddenly, whatever happened comes back to me and I'm like 'Shit'.
By the way, the lad I liked; we are together now. I'm happy to have him by my side :)
Valuing virginity is a purely cultural phenomenon. It's completely arbitrary, and actually goes much against our human nature.
Ignore it all, and learn how to listen to your own body.
How do you manage your time between recreation/entertainment and productive work on your priorities?
I am transitioning from breaks when I feel like it, where I blend media, trolling youtube, physical activity and motivational videos slowly into my work.
Break size is usually about 10 mins, but can be up to 30 mins 20% of the time I take breaks. It really varies and I basically do it till I am motivated to work some more.
Work consists of reading material on the internet on philosophy and psychology, asking questions about life on 4chan, performing actions related to email, research companies for where I want to work eventually, writing down ideas for businesses, sorting folders and bookmarks, planning, working on my plans for life. It's stressful!
This happens roughly after 40 minutes after starting my work day. Then, I get itchy to break after another 20 mins or so. Then 10mins...
Some personal bits; you may or may not find them relevant:
Currently, I'm motivating by rewarding each math problem done, with a panel of Homestuck. Good times. Or, if I'm doing some reading, I might intersperse every few pages with a quick level in Sonic 2 or something short'n'sweet like that.
Whenever I feel like it, I lie down on my bed to defrag for a few minutes. I've also found that, as much as I like background music, it distracts me too much. Also, I work better on an empty stomach (and think better with good nutrition (read: China Study)).
One of the most important things, is to get away from any constant feeds. Anything that gives you an excuse to open up the browser and check the latest things is a HUGE detriment to your productivity.
Even more important, though, is to always remember that you'll never feel like doing work, until you actually start working; so just get started on it regardless of how you feel.
So...Hi. My name is Emily. I'm 16.
This new girl moved into our neighborhood, and we've been sort of seeing each other. I think I love her. I used to have a boyfriend but with him it just felt...wrong. His skin was too dry and he was too messy and just...not like a girl. But with Courtney(thats her name) it feels right, and different.
This is the part that scares me. She wants to come out. She wants to be in a 'real relationship' but I can't. My parents are so...perfect? They're strict Catholics and I have an older sister who is so caught up in solving math problems she doesn't notice that I hardly sleep at night. I know my parents would never understand. They'd send me to live in Iowa or something.
I don't want to be gay, but I don't know what to do. I was in love with a girl before, but it would never have worked out.
I really need some advice. I have no idea how to deal with this.
Having said that, my suggestion is probably also risky, since the family member may call back the parents, and she's anyway whisked into camp. She needs to consider that. Crashing at a friend's home is another option, but carries the same risks.
In any case, if you read this, Emily, think about those issues.
Emily, I work at an LGBT legal organization that might be able to help you. There's some chance we might be able to get you legally emancipated, if that's something you'd want to try. Pixel8, who posted above, has my email address and phone number and can put us in touch.
>>22 I'm not lgbt, and this is not the issue. The problem is that her parents are about to do something seriously damaging to their daughter. We are not advising her to cut ties with her parents, but to take the required steps to preserve her own integrity (which I hope involve simply some discussion and counseling, and nothing so drastic as separation). By doing that, she is more likely to safeguard the family's integrity than by submissively accepting to be hurt.
Nevertheless, I do agree that she should use official and well-trained channels to reach for help.
Chris, who posted above, is a solid resource from an excellent organization. I would be happy to put you in touch & show you how you can verify their authenticity before you trust them. Again, my email is reddittroubledteens@gmail.com.
Emily, what's the name of the camp in question? They vary from "mostly just inconvenient" to "the thing of nightmares," if you give us a name we can do some digging and find out just how much you should be willing to sacrifice to avoid being sent there. If in doubt, err on the side of caution, which in this case means staying as far away from Utah-based homosexual "cure" camps as possible. They tend to lean towards the nightmare side of things and it will cause permanent psychological damage to you if it does. Yes, you can recover from these camps to the point where you can move on and be happy with your life, but it will leave permanent scars.
I'm trying not to scare you, because it's important to stay calm and rational and make your own choices instead of acting on blind faith in strangers from the internet due to panic, but it really is important you understand the stakes here.
A few suggestions.
First, a lot of people have provided links to organizations that might be able to protect you. If they can, this would be, by far, the most preferable option. It's low-risk and socially sanctioned, which will probably make an eventual reconciliation with your parents much easier if you decide you want one.
I wanted to say, don't be afraid of Utah as a place to start over if you need to get away once you're there/can't get away before then. It has the deserved Mormon reputation, but as a result the gay community is extremely loving, accepting, and tight-knit. I recently moved away so I can't really give you any further advice than that and can't offer you a place to stay, but I'm on your side. We're all on your side. I've been in your position before and remember; your parents love you, and they don't understand. This is a horrible, knee-jerk reaction born of ignorance. It's awful, but it's going to be okay. I swear it gets better. Message me if you need somebody to talk to, but I definitely advise going to reddit (r/lgbt or r/ainbow) as a source of help and advice.
Oh crap I am worried about her.
I'm worried about her, too. She has not contacted me yet.
I'm a gay too.
I feel like I don't belong here. Like I was born in the wrong era. People around me are on a different wavelength. I feel like I was supposed to be somewhere else doing something else living a different life.
I too, like medieval stuff, but such senses come only for a lack of God in your lives, turn to Jesus.
Yes, in the past I also tought this wouldn't do a thing, I was wrong.
I also feel like im in the wrong time period. Even though i am a Muslim and i do not believe in reincarnation but i feel as if i was born in a different time, and i still belong there, as if i've left something behind. Nothing feels right for me at the moment, relationships, places etc, they are just not easy for me to deal with because i don't feel connected. And for some odd reason i'd rather be living as people did back in the ancient medievel times rather than now in this modern world. I seem to dislike and disagree with everything that goes on these days.
I wish I was born into the Victorian middle/upper class. I respect their attitudes and morals more, even if they were a bit over-the-top at times.
i wish i was born in the year 2153.by the we would be in space,realize the human potential,school would actually be fun(im a teen)and girls would dress more futuristic-fashion and more revealing.digimon would exist and life would be perfecto!
I feel just like Saira
i think i am born in the wrong place, i live in WoW and should have stayed there. it sucks everytime i need to disconnect,
Wow browsing through some of the replies on here are entertaining! I am from the future 2012 since this is an old topic lol I really liked the one reply someone said about standing in the rain staring up at the sky if i saw someone doing that I'd be like what the fuck. Thanks for the laugh.
>>1>>1i feel lost..... can anyone understand me???
i dont feel like i should be here, when i talk to friends about how i feel they think i mean death... suicide but i dont i just dont feel like this is my time, i have no connection whatsoever to this life i dont even have a connection of any kind with my blood family as i feel i dont belong. in this day and age it is widely aknowlaged that u can be born in to the wrong body..... if that is the case then surley u can be born into the wrong time zone?.
Yeah, this era does suck in quite a few ways. The decline of human interaction, and decay of reading/writing abilities due to mobile devices and "text speak" sucks - those in the past were far better spoken without such distractions.
The sucky, repetitive quality music has taken on also makes this a crummy era. In the past, you could trace major developments in music ranging from stuff like the Beatles/Stones/Hendrix 60's to the hard/prog/glam etc. 70's, to the distinct 80's right up to grunge. Now, for the most part, mainstream music is just a grinding miasma of overproduced pop and derivative rap. History and progression in music has just halted, much like the way fashion has stagnated in comparison to developments in the 20th century.
Really. Its all I want yet no one seems to care enough to hug me. I haven't been hugged by someone in a few years. It seems like if I want a hug I have to start it myself. Is it that fucking hard to hug someone? I shower, and keep myself nice smelling.
I want a hug too, this sucks, i live nyc and there's millions of people here yet i dont have one person i can hug that wouldnt feel weird or get the wrong idea about my intentions....Even surrounded by people in a large city is a lonely place to be... Never thought i'd feel this way. i've always had a loving family, a man who treated me soo good who was sweet and caring or so i thought, he would turn into a totally different person when he left the house everyday.... Now my whole family moved to a state a thousand miles for me and I left this person who i thought i would spend the rest of my life with cause our whole relationship was one big lie... And now i dont even have anyone i can hug when i feel sad or lonely or upset, it just really sucks....
i haven't seen my boyfriend in over two years. i reeally fucking miss his hugs. i hug and get hugs from other people, but it's just not the same, i mean i can't really hold the hug or bury my face into their neck or curl up in their lap.
fuck.
I want to hug you! I have two twin boys and I sit for hours sometimes in our little blow up pool hugging them. They are 12 but they still love moms hugs. I'm older, 40+ but I don't eat but one meal a day so that I can still look like a kid! I give good hugs. I am lonely too. Hang in there. IF you don't find a girl I'll be your cougar. ♥
I'm ok. How are you?
How are you?
I'm ok.
Addiction to stimulation; dependency on novelty; abundance of technology; overbearing media --- you cannot find a physical human amongst 10,000 Anonymous Internet posts.
Nobody lives online, only reflects.
I really just want a hug from a boy because I can never get a hug from my brother (we fight a lot) and my dad gives uncomfortable hugs and he is pretty dirty. My mom only gives hugs that last a few seconds. I feel really lonely and I have acne on my face... But is that really a reason to not hug someone? And what makes it worse is that I'm only 11 years old. I want a real nice long hug.
I'd gladly hug you, I really would. I feel completely amputated from the world.
This thread isn't for those with social anxiety or those who want relationships with others but are too shy to get them. This, rather, is for people who genuinely enjoy being alone, from at least most of the time to all of the time.
How do you cope with living in a soceity in which you are generally viewed as though there is something wrong with you? What do you do when/if people try to start conversations with you? Are you fine with some occasional required contact, or do you resent even this? Do you feel there is some sort of a void in your life, and that you need to find something to fill it? I'm curious to see if there is anyone with experiences similar to mine on here.
>>124
I'd agree, but I'd also say you really need to distance yourself from what is fiction. I have to distance myself from my own fantasies often. I keep it in check.
Im 19 now and im also an introvert. I just watch K-dramas, animes, read mangas, 9gag, and use my laptop the whole day. I have some friends but since Im in college now, Im finding it hard to make new ones (my old ones are left in my country). Such a pain...im too shy and awkward. Most of the time I have no idea what to say. Is it just me? I mean how do you deal with this? Its summer and as usual im cooped up in my room just watching animes. My sister keeps telling my sad and pathetic I am but im perfectly happy this way. I mean I look to go out occasionally but sometimes its a pain. Im not even like a geeky girl (as you would describe it). Im normal looking but just socially awkward. Any comments? :)
>>135
As long as you're not dropping out of society and the developing world in general, you're fine. Keep doing what makes you happy.
I can't imagine the sort of fortitude it takes to be a genuine loner, as the OP puts it. To live without the need for the warmth of love or the joy of brotherhood. If such a creature exists, they must derive such happiness from their passions.
As for me, I'm pretty mediocre at my hobbies. I rely on interaction from my girlfriend and her family, with no real social interaction outside of that. I am never solicited to be more social. Maybe it's because nobody is interested in me, but I think it's mostly because I don't solicit anybody to socialize with me. I can't complain. Strangers outside of anonymous boards make me uncomfortable.
To be more relevant to the topic, seeming happy and energetic while keeping boundaries is the best way to avoid unwanted interaction.
Even if I'm not a genuine loner, I understand the pain of somebody talking to you while you're perfectly content without them. The unwanted risk of ego is what makes it worst for me. I'm always afraid I'll say something stupid and beat myself up for it the next month.
Went to a friend's birthday on Sat. I was the only one among her friends who was not also a work friend or attached in that fashion. Also the only single. It still feels wrong to me, like I shouldn't have been there. I thought I'd made some serious changes in the past year, but really I'm still the same bitter, lonely, frustrated man I've always been. The only difference is that I feel I am really a man now, instead of a boy.
It may be just as well. I've never been in a good relationship because I'm neurotic and sexually deviant. My parents and family want me to have a "normal" relationship and a normal life, but I don't think I'd be able to stand it even if I could do that. I'll probably end up spending every hour I can working, so that I can make large amounts of money and on my down time sit alone in my apartment with my music on and pornography on my TV. Those are my best prospects.
I could be a loner. I like being alone far better than being with other people. I'm really irritable at school, too. The only time I can really relax is when I'm without company. The thought of living in one of those big abandoned missile silos all by myself sounds really cool to me.
I don't really know if I fall under the conditions set by here for being a 'loner' but a recent event made me realize something about myself. So here I am sitting next to my classmate during a seminar in the school auditorium, we start talking to pass the time and I was fine with that. As soon as we got out of the auditorium she followed me and still wanted to talk, I didn't hate her and I didn't think she was a bad talker either, but basically I cut her off and walked out of sight as soon as I could. It felt like a mean thing to do, and yet when I walked away I felt...at peace, as if it was natural for me to be alone. I felt like I was in my natural state.
Weird.
I feel that such a move to promote through the media in relation to Japan, China, South Korea, the bad feelings between countries, are the anti-Japanese sentiment and activity on the mainland, the right-wing domestic activity further I wish I've got to. . Oh, so-called dirty media.
I am one of Japan.
Well I'm the oldest of five kids and my stepdad (who is 18 years older than my mom) started molesting me when I was 11 or so, and when I was 14 I told my mom, who didn't believe me. I had confided in my cousin, and she called CPS, and they didn't believe me either - lack of evidence - he hadn't molested my younger sister (who hadn't hit puberty yet) or his biological children. Anyway, I'm 16 and live with my dad now, but it sucks, because all my siblings and my mom live in the house I grew up in with my stepdad, and every time I visit he makes sure to come out and say hi to me and rub it in my face and when I'm rude to him my mom gets pissed...I didn't know what it was to truly hate someone until this happened. I don't know what to do anymore. Every time I see him with them it's just this awful feeling and he's started texting me and I told him to stop but he won't and I feel...dirty inside? It's hard to dedscribe, but like there's something inherently awful about me and like he's all over me and no matter how many times I shower he won't leave. I'm sick of it and the way everyone treats me like I'm doing something wrong when I'm rude to him and like I was making the whole damn thing up and I just don't know what to do.
You could speak to a counsellor who believes you, and not only have someone to confide in in person, but they may give you tools to help with what you are feeling (I don't mean pills, btw). They can help you work through this mire, instead of be alone to sink into it.
It's a crime (probably literally) that someone else has made you feel this way, but seriously, the true road to betterment lies AFK, not on the Internet.
Good luck
PS. What does your biological father think of this?
Additionally, your family doctor can arrange a meeting with a counsellor attached to his/her practice, if you were unaware of how to go about doing it.
A counsellor is a person whom you can speak freely to, and who can give you advice. They are trained in many aspects of social/mental/personal health, and are, once again, not on the Internet.
Hello~ First some details: I live at my college, but I have to go back to my dad's house during breaks. My mom lives separately for work reasons, but she visits my dad every month or two.
I have some problems. My dad has emotionally and verbally abused me for all of my life (19 years), to the point that I've thought on many occasions that it'd be better to just commit suicide. Because of him, I have a low self-esteem, extreme mood swings, and more than a couple mental disorders. I went to a psychiatrist who said there's a good chance I have PTSD, but I moved soon after and haven't had a chance to get it confirmed yet.
Lately I've been trying to avoid my dad so I don't have panic attacks or get suicidal again, but my mom has been telling me it's rude and immature to avoid him because he's my father. I told her about the psychiatrist, and she let me stay at her apartment for the rest of the break.
But then we had to go back to my dad's house for a few days, and she spent the entire time trying to force me to socialize with him, insisting they talked about it and he'd stop being abusive. He didn't stop at all, but my mom didn't seem to notice. She says it's my fault for not being nice to him, and I'm only distressed because I'm overreacting on my own.
You being uncomfortable is the result of this situation with your parents. For them to make you feel uncomfortable, by saying that it's making them feel uncomfortable is them trying to not let you feel things. You are having genuine reactions to the treatment given to you, and that is probably no fault of yours. People treat you poorly, and you react by withdrawing, it makes sense.
For your family to be essentially banding together against you, they're making your continuing pain into a weapon against you, causing you more pain, letting them hurt you more, causing you more pain.
Your parents were born long ago, and they were children, raised by people who used to be children themselves. They have had child/ren (you), and think that this makes them parents...no, it means they have offspring. Them being parents isn't an automatic thing, just by having kids, it is something they have to work at, and from what you are saying, they're doing a fairly rotten job of it.
In my own life, it has amazed me how much my own family members thrived on inflicting pain on me. Yelling, hitting, venting against the small child...it has soured my view on the family unit, certainly, but I believe with this comes a sort of clarity:
They were born far away, met each other, reproduced, and this is the true nature of a family. The intimacy of a family unit is wholly dependent on the people within it, and merely being "related" is in no way a gauge of love or compatibility.
Anonymous, you are hurting enough to come here, and ask an infinity of strangers for advice...this is a good act on your part, but highly indicative of the wrongness of the entire situation within which you find yourself.
I honestly don't know if I feel okay giving you any specific advice, but perhaps your enduring of pain has caused you to shut yourself away emotionally from your family...thus they might not blatantly see what you feel.
Be expressive, show emotion, get your pain and sadness and anger across. Have enough of it! Don't take any more! If someone is a right bastard to you again, let them fucking <i>know</i> it.
I once set out on a single morning to tell my mother what my problems were with her, the family, and the entire way I had been raised, and I was confident that if she started to cry, it would have gotten through to her: she wept pitifully at the disgusting way I had been feeling inside for years and years.
This is surprisingly normal for teens growing up, so you're not alone (but that probably won't make you feel much better). Your mother is going to have to let you go and you're going to have to find a way to enforce this. As long as you're over 18 you should have the space to make your own wishes. You are legally an adult and should be treated like one. 'Should' is a useless word though if you don't insist you get YOUR needs met.
It's not your problem if your mother complains that the rest of the family are not comfortable enough for her. Some mothers have a terrible time dealing with their developing children. The 'happy family' image is really important to some parents because of all the prestige it gets them. Magazines and newspapers love the picture of the happy family since so many families exhibit real problems and arguments. Some mothers are narcissists, which means that they crave attention at all costs and a happy family guarentees them an income of attention, and some are genuinely looking out for the 'greater good' so that everyone is happy, so she might just care about you.
From other things you've wrote, it looks like that you [i]might[/i] be overreacting, but then again its hard to tell. If your father tends to explode into fits of rage, throttle you and stub cigarettes out on you then that is clearly abusive. Being teased and ignored sometimes is not abusive. At 19 you have a hell of a lot of growing up to do and not much of it is fun. That goes for everyone at that age including me! Then again you are an adult and can do what you like now, so being teased and belittled sometimes isn't very nice either, and neither is having your boundaries breached all the time. Just sayin'.
When I was 14, I molested my sister. She was was almost four the first time and the second time was just after she turned four. The first time, I actually pulled her pants down and touched her bottom, but the second time was just me taking my time helping her in the restroom. Neither time did I ask her to touch me or even show her my penis.
I was recently recovering from a long amount of physical and emotional abuse from my father, and had previously been molested twice in my youth. I was also suffering from some fairly serious mental problems. I say this not to excuse my actions, but to provide more of an explanation of what was going on then.
As time went on and I have returned to a more normal mental state, I look back upon what I have done in horror and guilt. I don't really know what effects this may have had on my sister (she is still fairly young) but I don't really look back on my molestations negatively. I still feel guilty, though.
However, a larger emotion that I am now feeling is fear. What if she remembers? What if she does not? I certainly remember being that age, but I developed rather quickly. Her linguistic skills have always been behind. What if she remembers and eventually tells someone and my life is ruined? What if.... etc?
you are sick man get a life and dig your grave down to ell like you should and die miserably!
i said it twice so you could feel bad.
im sorry that wus meen
Im scared to death. I was molested when i was 13, and when i was 14 i molestedmy neice and nephew... Im 17 niw, and when i look back im horrified i wouldnt ever hurt them now, id die for them. I never meant any harm, i was just curious... i feel like killing myself now!! Ive heard that its common for children who have been molested to 'experiment' with other children...im going to kill myself. I love these kids, and i feel like a monster. Should i tell someone?!
I am a licensed mental health counselor. I suggest that you make an appointment to get into therapy as soon as you can. You owe it to yourself to talk with a professional about this and to sort it out. I assume that you are carrying some uncertainty, guilt, shame and other feelings about what happened with your sister. If you don't deal with feelings with a trained professional you risk being vulnerable emotionally in a number of ways. I wish you luck and I hope you take my advice.
Dear Can't say,
I am a licensed mental health counselor. I suggest that you make an appointment to get into therapy as soon as you can. You owe it to yourself to talk with a professional about this and to sort it out. I assume that you are carrying some uncertainty, guilt, shame and other feelings about what happened with other kids and about what happened to you. If you don't deal with feelings with a trained professional you risk being vulnerable emotionally in a number of ways and this is no way to live. This experience does not define you but you need a safe place to sort it out and not on a public chat. It's always best to face difficult things in one's life than to keep it a secret and run away from it because we can never run away from something like this. Suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem and would be a very poor attempt at solving this one. You can solve this by getting into therapy, talking it out, dealing with your feelings differently and taking responsibility for your actions. You can do it! I wish you luck and I hope you take my advice and get the professional support that you need to face this issue and heal.
Hi I'm 20 male about to be 21 and i know exactly how you feel. when i was 11 or 12 i molested my best friends little sister. Its been fucking me fucking my whole life I regret it everyday. And just like you I'm scared shes going to getting to around that age where she right remember and shes going to tell someone. i really would like to do the right thing and talks things out or what ever, because i truly do regret it but also if she doesn't remember and i say something then everyone will trip. I don't know what to do and everyday i live in fear shes going to tell her brother, my childhood best friend, who used to live with me, and hes going to kick my ass.
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I to did the same thing and i feel alot of guilt, but i got my forgiveness from my sister, God, and Jesus. I was confused at the time, it's alright! We need to move along, more people than you know do this. Now that 2 years have passed since i did this (age of 15...17 now) i'm very protective of my sister around my father.
I to did the same thing and i feel alot of guilt, but i got my forgiveness from my sister, God, and Jesus. I was confused at the time, it's alright! We need to move along, more people than you know do this. Now that 2 years have passed since i did this (age of 15...17 now) i'm very protective of my sister around my father.
I have a really shameful confession to make. I'm a grown man who does not know how to look after himself. I cannot cook much, I am too weak and tired to exercise, and I am an emotional wreck. I've been in care multiple times because of issues growing up without support, now I am a grown man in the adult world. I don't know how to look after my body or my mind. I smell and I look disgusting. My life is a mess. I am always alone and have no friends at all. My father moved away when I was very young and I have been living by myself in shared or supported housing. Sometimes I am working, sometimes not.
I am wondering if I should go back to supported housing. I hate myself for it but what can I do? I barely have enough money to survive and my house is always cold. Even though I do not work always, I cannot relax and always have self-destructive thoughts in my head, and the stress of being by myself 24/7 causes chest pains, and my confidence goes even lower. The doctor always ignores me and maybe I think he thinks I am a wreck for good. I'm 30 and never had a girlfriend. I embarrass myself in public because I am very lonely. I hate how this has happened because I never wanted to be a useless person. Sometimes I look on the internet for help or local support groups but there is nothing (except for normal people who do not understand what it is to feel like this). People look at me like I am crazy, I am not a crazy man but I have been alone for many years and do not know what to do. It is very painful and I hate myself. I am always cussing at myself. I am not elderly, on drugs, a parent or anything, I am just The Pathetic man. Look at me everyone. Look at the grown up man who is always sick and can't look after himself.
>>4
>>6
>>7
>>9
Hello and thanks for your advice. It has taken me some time but I am now able to cook for myself, I am regularly exercising and grooming. I am able to take care of myself a lot better. This is a very big step for me and this is one of the first times I've had practical advice on how not to be pathetic. Living to a schedule is very hard though.
It's funny how I've noticed how everyone considers me as pathetic. Self-delusion is how I've coped with growing up. Everyone can see that too, and I was complicit in it, but didn't take it seriously. People are more than happy to watch me walk around in self-deceit. It's all become a big game. I spend my entire day looking at stupid self help articles or mental illness pages. How did it get to this stage? I might have been persuaded to have chosen to be pathetic, but it was still my choice. Now I've nothing to give. I don't even feel like a person. All I want to do is cry, but wouldn't that be selfish? I don't think I can even be selfish. How would I know if I'm even telling the truth? This has been going on all my life. It's just endless pretending. But I made myself this. Aren't I getting what I deserve, so why should I get to privilege to cry? I could have been anything but I blew it. I can't bare this.
you condition have you been dianosed as having?
it's possible you only need routine therapy.either monthly or weekly.disabled people have no business posting in a forum or ona site wherein the only replies come from people who answer as though they're preteens. you need therapy and the correct medication.and someone who will listen without being intimidating.
So happy I'm not alone in this. It keeps occurring to me I can't do simple tasks like wash clothes, but that's because nobody ever taught me. It's not as if my mum has spoonfed me my entire life, but she just does everything herself. Even if I insist on helping, she just says she can manage alone.
It's amazing and depressing to think that boys used to become men at half my age.
I'm still a minor but just know this: Reading this has made me reflect on my own life a lot more seriously than I do usually, I too lack those basic skills and I hope things work out for the both of us.
>>12
Why would you assume that he's mentally disabled? Mentally disabled people can't really use computers all too well. If anything it's his parents fault for where he's at, they obviously didn't teach him how to do things like most people's parents do. Anxiety and depression also seem to factor into this equation, I assure you that those two things are not signs of mental retardation, they're actually signs of great intelligence.
Hello, just wondering of the man that first posted this is still around? I am in a similar position to you and think it would be helpful to both of us to chat...
RayRay
It's lovely to see people giving advice to this 'dear' man - who was so honest about his situation.
I have spent a lifetime working for and looking after others - and made a good job of it, having built up large businesses solely to help and look after other people, I made no money for myself but gave any I had to my children
Now I am retired and old - unable to anything for others and spend all my time wrestling with my body and mind to look after
myself
I just wish somone had talked to me when I was young how to look after myself - and to know that I am as important as anyone else in this world - despite the regular feedback I had from my parents that I was of 'no use to this world and never will be'. I proved them wrong, I was of great use to others, now i just have to concentrate on undoing that negativity I was fed and feed myself with good positive thoughts to get some pleasure from these twilight years.
Positive thoughts is what's needed. I was led to this free course online that set me on my feet.
I promise that this will fix youhttp://www.psitek.net/pages/PsiTekTMKS1.html
God Bless You All
I am 25, live alone, and I can't support myself financially, despite my best efforts and intentions. I have spent years dutifully improving my ability to live on my own, in the sense of the taking care of ones living body, and immediate environment, and you know, it has been terribly hard at times to live amongst the human race. I forced myself to find methods to everything, and repeat them, and engrain it, until I could naturally do something such as go out to buy groceries, whether or not I'm having a good day, or a bad month. I may go at weirder hours, to avoid the crowds, and I may be unable to pass it from my mind for a long time when the cashier is a dick to me, and I'm always, always doing it by myself (everything by myself), but I can get it done.
My greatest boon was starting to cook my own dinner, daily, or as often as I could, being a teen living at home at the time, from the age of, I don't know, 17 or 18ish.
[19-23 sees my life flayed apart, damaging many things for an unknown time to come]
Since moving out (BEING moved out by parents...), I've had to rely on myself for everything except the rent, which many things have come together to highly diminish my ability to actually pay, which is a shame. It's another thing entirely, but I've tried working, hard, at least, before concluding that my basic ego-sustaining behaviors are often unacceptable and viewed as objectional by society at large.
Also, here:
3/4 cup parboiled rice - bring pot of water on stove to a boil, add rice, stirring right away to reduce clumps, and then occasionally, adding more water if much of it boils off, straining when rice tests as desired. [TOTAL TIME: 26 MINUTES]
1/2 dozen frozen boxed chicken strips - OVENS VARY: I set my oven to 420, and put the tray of frozen strips in right away, setting the timer for 34 minutes. They thaw/cook as the oven heats up, so no pre-heating to think about. 34 minutes from start, and they can only be done. [TOTAL TIME: 34 MINUTES]
carrots, celery, green peppers - chopped, set aside. beansprouts, too. [TOTAL TIME: 6 MINUTES]
1x each of: botle of soy sauce, bottle of teriyaki sauce, black pepper, chili powder, curry powder.