heres the deal, im 17.

I graduated high school early, but thats not the point, even since I Graduated high school, I Realized that school was pretty much my only social life. its where I interacted with my friends and what not, since graduating, I havent had a social life, I have friends, and yes, I have attempted to "have" a scocial life, but I dont really enjoy it, its been three weeks since I've left my house- actually, I think four.

its been about two months since I've done anything socially. my room is in the basement, and the only light I have is from my monitor, I keep my lights off because I'm sensitive to them and they make my eyes hurt alot, I realize that this is not good for me, but to tell the truth, I would rather just sit in my room by myself. I get annoyed at people very easily and I do not like people in general. I lived with my dad before I graduated and he sent me to an institution for a week, I wont discuss that because it is another story for another time, ever since that day I told him that I would never forgive him and I moved back in with my mother. since about december of 2006 (I didnt even get to have a proper birthday because I was in the hospital) I have been having nightmares related to the hospital and being "locked up" in generalm this includes nightmares of being sent to prison.

Even when I do go out, I am a mute, not by having to be able to be a mute, but because of choice, I cannot talk to people, I have a feeling that if I try to start a conversation with someone, they will end up hating me, and that just makes me want to stay inside even more.

I'm pretty sure this will all end in about two months, my 18th birthday and I will be able to go out and work, I cannot work very well right now because I live in a small town and we dont really have alot of jobs, all of the good jobs are in the city.

So- whats wrong with me?