I'm sorry. I basically just want to rant and scream and cry about this. It sounds so emo, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Ugly, ugly, ugly. I feel so hideous. I feel like everyone else is so damn pretty or handsome, and I'm ugly and frumpy and disgusting. I don't think I'll ever feel good about myself until I can finally stop photoshopping all my pictures so my acne isn't visible and I look thinner. God. I hate this. I feel so ugly and ungraceful, so inferior to everyone else. Normally I can find beauty in anyone. I can pick out the pretty bits of someone's face and keep them in mind, and ignore the ugly bits, but with my own face...I can't.
It's getting to the point when I hate looking in the mirror, because I look awful. I get scared of people looking directly at me, as well- I keep covering my face with my hair and looking away. It's awful.
I feel like a fucking ugly freak.
Normally I'd troll a thread like this because they're usually started by attention seeking teenage girls who are pretty and know it. But I believe you are being genuine by the way I can sort of relate to your feelings. I hate people looking at my face directly, and can never hold eye contact for very long. I'm always thinking that they're thinking about how ugly I am in their heads, what a crap sense of style I have...did I put too much deoderant? Not enough? Something on my face? My self consciousness has meant I've been a very shy person all my life. Despite all my friends telling me that I'm cute, or the handful of guys who've asked me out (and been rejected), it's something I've only started getting over recently. I still hate looking at myself in the mirror, but I now have a "make the best with what you got" approach. You may not be able to change your look, but it is your lack of self confidence that is most destructive. The best remedy is to meet lots of people. Let your guard drop, and you'll see that the more you talk to other people without thinking about what they think about you, the more you'll like yourself. Don't be afraid to approach people and chat, and you'll be known for more than you looks.
the way you physically look is actually a manifestion of your mental self-image. reality can be manipulated by your thoughts. think beautiful, act beautiful, be beautiful. stress and hatrid only make your image worse. you simply have to ask yourself, "do i want to be beautiful?" if so, then determine precisely those things that cause otherwise and use your logic to either restrict and contain, or completely eliminate them altogether. make a starting point and move forward, else remain in your sorrowful state.