have you guys ever wanted to let yourself be the way you are?
i mean, a looong time ago i acted like an asshole the whole time, i treated people like crap and cared about nothing aside for my own needs.

some time ago that changed. but now i'm starting to think its too much trouble to mince every word for fear that it'll hurt my friends. i made a normal life for myself, but its getting tiresome to mantain it. back when i was an asshole i had a lot more time to spend reading or on other cultural activities. i feel that my mind was clearer back then. now i have to worry about birthdays, feelings and stuff that i made fun off or simply ignored.

i feel like i built this castle of cards and now i'm compelled to destroy it just too see if i can be happier having a "simpler" life ignoring social conventions.
i'm not sure where i am going with this, i guess i just want to see if someone is in a similar situation.