Ex-two-year shut-in, female 19 years old, 5 months in recovery.

Life is difficult, it often feels like a strain, under pressure I sometimes wish I could return to my old life but I take a step back and am amazed at how far I have come. Not long ago I was fearful of never being independent, only left the house once every month or two, and only interacted with my immediate family, but now I have started tertiary education and moved away from home and I mostly take care of my own financial situation. Things are not ideal, I still hole myself up in my room quite a bit, I stress out quite a bit over school work and get anxious about eating in the dining hall, but I have a few friends, haven't missed a class, have been getting between B+ and A+ grades for my assignments/tests and things are gradually improving for me.

My recovery began with a simple decision that enough was enough and I applied to a school and was successful and that was it. I now force myself to do something positive on most days, this could be as simple as speaking up in class, going to a shop I am not familiar with, making sure I am eating relatively well, or just getting enough sleep. Posting this here too is a positive step, I have often shied away from posting in this thread, even though I wanted to, closing the browser before finishing, I'm not sure why..

Since I arrived at the school I have realised that my course of study isn't something I am very interested in, but I see it more as a step to permanent change, the experience is valuable in more ways than just educationally. It is important for me who has lost two years social, emotional and intellectual growth, I often feel a lot younger than my peers. Though, interestingly enough I don't regret being a shut-in, I think I learnt a lot about myself with all that introspection.

Well, anyway, the course is only a year and a half long, after this year I am unsure as to what I want to do, eventually I want to travel, but until then I don't know.

Well, I hope this doesn't sound too lame.