OP here... seriously, i'm not concerned about ever having another serious relationship. i've had enough of relationships.

i do, however, want sex. i miss sex. sex is a great deal of fun.

anyway, this is the current situation...

my husband has spent the whole weekend moping because a mutual friend kind of curtly brushed off his sexual innuendos. the friend is usually cool with it, we all joke around about it, but the guy is very straight and in love with his (very hot) girlfriend. the friend only put a stop to the joking around because his girlfriend was here too, and she doesn't like it.

but my husband was all upset and embarrassed and hurt by the brush off. he said he felt like an idiot, & he was beating himself up all out of proportion to what happened.

anyway, my husband is now completely drunk, and now he is trying to get our roommate to procure weed for him. i'm not against occasionally getting f-ed up- and i used to tell him that he should try it now and then (he always used to be a prude about such things). but now he does this shit all the time, and it is becoming a crutch.

also, when he first got drunk earlier this evening, he kind of made sexual advances toward me, but i pushed him away.

i felt bad afterwards, but it's not really a turn on if it seems like he has to get drunk just to bear being with me... also, he was so trashed already he wouldn't have been able to finish the job anyway (which would open up a WHOLE OTHER emotional can-of-worms from him), plus all the emotions he had over our friend all weekend kind of put me off.

he's been outside half the evening, drunkenly telling our roommates how much he loves me, and how horrible he is to me as a husband, and how he wants to take an "icepick to the brain" to get rid of the part of him that "likes boys".

he's mad at me now, though, because i told him he is already very f-ed up and does not need to smoke weed on top of that.

i really don't know what to do with him. despite the recent alcohol/etc problem (only in the last couple of months), he is actually a really good guy, he is very smart, has three degrees, is very respected in the healthcare community. he has a great family, a great job, and a decent life. we aren't rich, but we are pretty comfortable. what is so awful about our life that he hates it so much?

i've offered to leave, let him have time to get himself together, maybe test the waters a bit. he is completely against it. he says he needs me, can't deal with life without me.

i guess i'm stuck, eh? why is adulthood so unnecessarily complicated?

thank you guys for all of your responses btw. it is good to have an anonymous place to vent.