Up until a few month ago, I was going to college and living on campus. I did nothing (only reason I left my dorm was go to class and buy food), and I felt very uneasy whenever I went out. I think the fear got to me and I tried to kill myself via CO poisoning and sleeping pills (although for numerous reasons). Even though no one knew about, I went back home and became scared to leave my room (essentially the same way as before).

Thing is, I kind of want to live on my own; I keep getting yelled at to act normal and go see a therapist and I feel I'd be much more comfortable being by myself. Problem is, I don't think I'd really be able to support myself and would probably end up cracking again. It'd be great if I could live in a small place, but I'd be frightful of other people. Is their a way I could sustain a living wage (it really does not need to be much) without having to be around others, since I doubt I could go back to school (and really have no reason to)?

Also, I'm "afraid" and unwilling to seek help for reasons I'm unsure as to why; I know that I essentially should, but I really don't see the point in such.