I'm so lonely it hurts.

I thought the divorce wouldn't affect me in this way but most of the friends were hers and promptly vanished. My best friend outside that died shortly after. Instead of becoming a friend, the girlfriend of said best friend became an obsession.

Every girl I become attracted to is already taken. Or maybe subconsciously I understand that before deciding to become attracted to them, because deep down I enjoy hopeless situations.

I still go out to drink weekly but I don't know if I can consider those people to be friends. Cons, the one place where I should be able to meet like-minded people, never seem to work like that, probably because everyone else is the same. Finding other decent meetups for non-work-related topics is hard. Meetup.com for example is basically non-existent. Back when it first opened up and was still popular I went to (technically, organised) a couple but it was too random.

So I end up with no true friends outside the Internet. To be fair, most of these are people I met in person first, but more seem to vanish each year. So in a few years I will probably talk to nobody outside of work, and if it weren't for work I would probably end up becoming a hermit or something.

Writing this makes me feel a little better though. I think what I really lack is people willing to listen to my problems. And why should they, they probably have their own.