There's hikky fortune in the air or what?

I too was a hikky (sorry I'm not Japanese but not English either and I don't know the right word) for 5 years.

First I was mad, literally I could not use reason, then I got well, but had no willpower to fix my life. But a few months ago I even acquiried this needed will.

However it's not that easy for me as for you. It will still take months until I can function normally outside. The first time I went out, it's nice spring time (south hemisphere), the breeze gently blowing, and I stood there for hours fascinated by the complex movement of the leaves in the wind.

And when I talk to people they ask me who I am what I do etc, I can't say sorry I do nothing and achieved nothing so far in life, so there is awkward silence. (HELP?)

Well at least I'm not a virgin, I partly became a hikky because I got with a young girl, then talked her into aborting our baby.....