>>1 OP, consider this: it could be you who dies first,... And that would be truly shattering for your parents. It's probably better if they go first, as is usual.

Besides, I have a grand mother that I love very much, and who is over ninety, so she won't stay around much longer. So I just enjoy the time with her when it's possible, and will keep her alive within me when she's gone.

You have to learn to cope with loss and grief, but learn to avoid bitterness, because it destroys the happy moments, past, present and future.