I like to be alone. I don't like to have to deal with other people, particularly their social games. I don't want to have to impress anyone or change myself to impress someone.

99% of the time I could not be happier when I'm alone. I can do what I want when I want and can spend all of my resources on myself. I don't have to deal with other peoples' shit.

1% of the time I'm so miserable when I'm alone that I just want to die on the spot. What's worse, the misery of this 1% is so much more potent than the happiness of the other 99%. When I'm like this I think that I should act like someone I'm not so as to get a girlfriend alleviate the misery of this 1% of the time. Obviously this conflicts with my desire to be alone and it confuses me to feel such a way.

What does this mean? I'm not asking for advice on how to change because I don't want to. I just want to have other peoples' opinions on this phenomenon.