>>4 seems to me really hard for an adult to have tenderness at bedtime without being somehow involved in a sentimental relationship.

The other option that comes to mind are one night stands, but these mostly involve sexuality, so it's also not optimal.

The only realistic option I see for you is to post and ad for a hug-friend/lover, where you stipulate that you are looking for someone with whom to share tenderness but no sexual relationships. If the site/newspaper/whatever where you post your ad has enough traffic, you might find someone interested. People with more difficult demands had luck with this method.