So I ended up getting some professional help, it's not going too well, went from psycho to depressed but I'm hoping to get a lot better in a few weeks. The doctor gave me different kinds of pills to take everyday and they seem to be working, at least I feel confident enough to go out now :) !

Oh, and I wish i could get a dog, then i could walk him out every day and that would be great therapy i think, but my stepfather and my stepbrother are allergic to pretty much all furry beings.

I've been feeling better, but it's still hard to drive some thoughts away and accepting reality still seems like a huge task, I really needed professional help. I guess I hadn't thought about it before out of fear of getting my personality killed by meds but wth, at least I'm happier and healthier now.