I don't really now how to start this... well, maybe an introduction. I'm a Brazilian dude, mid-twenties, studying for my Masters and working in research. And I do consider myself a geek: videogames, anime and manga are my hobbies. I guess I could split my "problems" in two: friendships and inspiration.

My history in the friends area is not exactly something to fill lots of pages with. I never really met a real friend until my second year of college. Then I met this other friend and I'd say both of them are my best friends... the others, well, I'd define them as acquaintaces more than anything. One of them lives in another city so we mostly communicate via text-messages and e-mails/msn, but her life is kinda busy so we sometimes spend weeks without talking and when we do, it's usually not for long. This other friend lives in the same town as I do, but it's very difficult to talk to him about certain subjects because he's quite "strong minded" to put it simply. It's not that I don't like them, but I still feel very lonely... I tried getting to know people with similar interestes on chats and those social network websites, but in the end, I couldn't really find what I'm looking for, which is difficult to put into works. I've never had a girlfriend, and I'd like to find someone to fill that space in my life. But at the same time I feel scared... scared to jump straight into something of this sort... I guess I could say that my ideal someone to meet right now would be a female version of me! Maybe just as freaked out as I am about giving this big step, but wanting a friendship that could evolve into more in the future... I dunno, sometimes I think this sound extremely sexist.

And the inspiration thing is that for the past year or so I haven't felt very inspired to do my job properly... motivated, if you will. I wanna change that because it's something I really enjoy doing! But I usually can plan everything, but when it comes the time to act on those plans, I feel like doing something else. When I force myself to do it, it starts slow and I eventually get it done... but I think I could do it better and faster if i had the proper inspiration/motivation. Maybe this is linked to the previous paragraph? I dunno... I don't even know if all of this makes sense... I wanted to vent, and, having known this place and lurked around for a little while, I felt like I could post this rant here, thinking that maybe someone has had similar experiences or even have any advice to me. I'd just people that reply to this, to keep it nice... I'm not here to argue or anything, just looking for some kind words of advice from people who're willing to go through this chunk of text I just wrote :)