I have asked this question to some people lately and the answer I get from them is trash. It's interesting to hear their views but in the end they all seem to view it very differently. One person I asked this question and he said that he doesn't have an answer. I said bluntly to him: Is it because you have not experienced it yet? He replied, yes. He also said that he thinks love and lust are the same thing. I think he's wrong. I think that love and lust are not the same thing because love is what people hold true for to have someone to be with and lust is just something they want to go after for to feel good about themselves and perhaps make his or her partner feel good as well. In other words, having sex with each other. It was bothering me from what he had said to me and that he does not have an answer when he already has. I think even with a simple crush or whatever, you have experienced love but he seems to not understand fully about love. He goes to college for pete's sake.
Anywho, I ask a few girls the same question. One girl I knew from my school days is that she talks about love including god. The love of god. I thought to myself: Okay, so this is what you believe. My question is not about religion and doesn't mean I'm asking in religious way. So in my perspective, she was quite religious about it and all I read was god this and god that with word love included.
Another person I asked was another one who I also knew from my school days. He's married with a woman who has three kids from another man. What I believe in his situation that he isn't feeling content with his life to the one he's married with. Even though he loves her, he sounded kinda unsure of himself. He would talk about how he used to date with this one girl back in high school and a recent event where a co-worker of his is trying to come onto him. He's co-worker, she's a single mom with a single child I think. So he does not have true love and the test is still underway for him to prove whether or not he loves his wife truly.
So there are people who seem to view love very differently but it comes down to my own theory. People don't know what love is and damn sure that I don't either. I think you have to live out so many years with the one you spend most of your life with and know the true meaning of love.
The thing is I don't believe in love. In my experiences and in my observations on other people in my life, love is complicated and it's stupid.
I think that it's something that, I shouldn't say, but a complete waste of my time. I'm a single guy but what have I got to lose? Most of them would say that there will be someone special out there for you but that's complete bullshit. All my life, love isn't important to me and I think me and some, if not most, people can live without it. The power of love? That can be proven wrong. If you have a strength will then you don't need love right?
I have a little love in my family. I'm being treated as a black sheep of my whole family. I realize that none of my family don't have that kind special of love. Mom told me she didn't really love my father. My grandpda married someone I think months after my grandma died. My aunt is recently divorced. My uncle has been divorced and he's fucked up ever since he immigrated here in the U.S. My other uncle in the Philippines doesn't seem to have interest to his wife anymore and I've seen watching bikini girls on youtube. So that tells me that him and his wife have no special connection anymore. I've heard stories that my other aunt was in a deep shit situation and ended married my uncle whom I never know much about him. So my family never recieved the love you see in movies and TV shows. It's because of them and it's because of other people whom I observed and/or heard their experience of love that I don't believe in love.
> ..love is what people hold true for to have someone to be with ..
> The thing is I don't believe in love.
I think you believe in love, but you don't think it could happen to you, and there is little "love" in your life.
I also think that if you keep thinking this way, then of course love will never knock on your door.
Love is a label that humans, simple-minded as they are, attach to all sorts of feelings they have for other humans.
Love, and romantic notions in general, are, in the end, nothing more than delusions. Fantasy. People spend most of their lives looking to be acknowledged by someone, so much so that they compromise their own existence, bending and molding themselves into something they are not, all in order to be acknowledged by another half-person who has bended and molded themselves into something they are not. There is no happiness in deluding yourself. A shared delusion can be nice for a while, but it won't last. If you delude yourself into believing that "love" is anything more than a temporary base emotion caused by chemicals in your body, you'll wake up one day as an old man and wonder who you are. Transcend what you were born as. You don't have to turn your whole life into a mating ritual.
Learn to love yourself and realise that you don't need anyone else to acknowledge you. Live with your head held high and don't lose yourself to base feelings of lust and a need to be accepted. Be yourself. Disregard women. Acquire currency. Go see the world, on your own. You really don't need anyone as long as you realise that your opinion of yourself is all that matters. If someone wants to follow you on your journey, that's cool.
>>2
If you think so then maybe I do but what I say is what I meant for real. I don't like love. I don't believe it like I said. It's something like >>3 said that it's basically a delusion.
>>3
Learn and live life the fullest before love, right? I don't love myself nor do I hate myself. I'm just a simple creature, an animal, a human living out in this planet called Earth. We do what we do in this reality and what we do is the things that affected around us, that surrounds us. Thus influential things.
Ugh. how bland and depressing. If you categorize love as something so vain and understandable, you've never fallen in love before, or you've been hurt, badly. Perhaps your own ego was too involved in your relationship. Pick up the pieces and begin anew.
Love is an odd thing in of itself. We fall for people who don't acknowledge our existence. We love things that perhaps could be dangerous towards our own well being. We seek out those people even with boundaries and limitations.
OP, I believe in love. Sure, some to the base emotional impacts caused by love is from certain chemicals in the body, but you can't expect that to be the only reason why we are attracted and care for people. Love is an act between two people, a bond deeper than just mere circumstance or affliction. Can you imagine having a person there with you who almost completely understands you? And you completely understanding them? How about a person who loves to be together with you anywhere?
Lust has its part in love, but it isn't really important. The most important part of love is its strong connection and trust. Not appearances or accomplishments.
>>5
I imagine having a person there with me. Completely understanding me and completely understand that person. A person who loves to be together with me anywhere.
However, that's dreaming. A dream that could never be. I can only put it into imagination. It sucks that this kind of imagination, a dream, a fantasy that will never be true at all. Sure I sound like I gave up on love and maybe I did or I already have. I still don't believe in love and no one will convince me enough that believing in love is something "special". A feeling of two bonding together in such harmony. Whatever defines your word, love.
I will say this: Only a girl out there in this world will unlock my sealed heart. For now, I don't believe in love. The fact of believing this is probably because I won't even fall in love anymore. Thinking those things like going out, getting married, have kids. That's a hard earned dream. Something I don't believe that would happen to me.
I agree with >>5. >>3 hasn't experienced love, or has been hurt before. You fail to realise that love, whether it be from your parter, family, or faith, gives you strength.
Ryuuchi;
> I said bluntly to him: Is it because you have not experienced it yet? He replied, yes. He also said that he thinks love and lust are the same thing. I think he's wrong. I think that love and lust are not the same thing because love is what people hold true for to have someone to be with and lust is just something they want to go after for to feel good about themselves and perhaps make his or her partner feel good as well. In other words, having sex with each other.
I'm sorry, but that sounds awfully like someone who believes in love. So I ask you bluntly: Is it because you have not experienced it before?
As far as I know, love does not give me strength. I believe that you can get strength from something else than just love.
Okay, maybe I'm just standing over the edge of a cliff ready to fall. Waiting for some girl to get me out of it but asking that question and the statement that follows doesn't mean I believe in love. I just stated about how love and lust to me isn't really the same thing.
Experienced it, do you mean by love? Or sexual intercourse? Love, I did experienced it. Sexual intercourse, no. However, it does not explain why I don't believe in love. Like I said I've seen and heard so many situations regarding love that have made my reasons not to believe in love.
Okay, I'm confused as to what you mean by "not believing in love". You're able to define it, so you acknowledge that it does exist, that it happens for other people out there, you just don't have faith in it. Is that right?
Your answers are so vague.
> As far as I know, love does not give me strength.
What exactly do you base this on? What kind of love have you experienced that made you feel otherwise?
It exists for others. It does not exist for me. Yes, you are quite right. I don't believe in love because I've seen both fail and success in love. It's something that I don't have in my mind quite often.
I apologize that my answers, explanation, etc. are vague. I'm trying the best of my knowledge and abilities.
I do not believe in love because I don't like to fall in love. I do not believe in love because I know that I will fail. I will only go to first base and I'm out before I reach to second base. Heck, I'll be out after three strikes instead. I don't believe it as I don't believe myself. I will purge my emotions and thoughts that leads to love. It's not because I refuse to do so, it's simply because I don't believe in love at all. It may sound that I am pushing it away from me and not retrieving it back forever but I guess it does. I guess I am pushing it away from me. I guess I don't to fall in love because the outcome is predictable. If I like a girl and try to do something that leads regarding in love, I know at a point I will fail. Maybe because it is based on how I talk, how I express myself. Maybe because they see me the way I am but no who I am. I am just tired of pursuing things in the name of love. Thus I don't believe in love anymore.
There is something the girls see that I don't. Even if I ask them, it will be pointless because it's something I won't understand. If I ask so that I can understand, they perhaps refuse.
afraid to fail? You don't fail if you try, Ryuuchi, you fail if you don't try. Because, if you can still try, you still have a chance at success.
Don't look at life as failures ans successes. Just look at life the way you want to look at it. Society really doesn't
matter that much man. Just do what you can do.
I was feeling a mess before because I thought that I was a failure. But honestly, succeeding or failing, it doesn't really matter. Your life is your own. You can do anything you wish, but some things just take longer than others.
Don't get caught up in society's net.
I don't believe in love
I never have, I never will
I don't believe in love
I'll just pretend she never was real
I don't believe in love
I need to forget her face, I see it still
I don't believe in love
It's never worth the pain that you feel
>>11
Someone said that to me in a similar way. I'm the kind of guy that people seem to not understand the way and who I am. Sometimes I think my intelligence, my knowledge, my intellectual ways are the things people don't see it in me when I express it out. They would look at my with a crooked eyebrow, especially my family.
You are right, here567. Your words about life is true. It is my life of my own. I can do anything as I wish to do and not to care what others think. Nonetheless, I still don't believe in love.
>>12
Good poem, I like it but shouldn't that be posted under Culture in Literature?