I'll start off with:
3. ~2500 pages
I don't know what this is but I find it hard to believe something with sparkly vampires is anything less than awesome.
It is. Much, much less. I don't think they even count as vampires. None of the normal vampire stuff kills 'em.
Garlic: No
Cross: nope
Sunlight: of course not, they sparkle instead
STAKE THROUGH THE HEART: What do you think? Nope
Vampires are supposed to be evil, satanic creatures. They don't sparkle. Its just not right. This is a chick-flik in literary form.
Sorry, forgot to number...I'll take 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8
10.- Jacob
umm, you forgot 9...
shit. either 9 or 11: soul-numbingly boring
srry make that 9 not 10
the REAL number 11: Main character is a stalker
12. written by a mormon. I'm a mormon too but damn if this doesn't just sicken me. I mean, mormons writing vampire stories? That's just wrong.
13. It promotes creepy, possessive, unhealthy relationships. Kinda goes along with >>9.
Bella: "Okay, Edward, you can totally sit outside my window and watch me while I sleep and prevent me from talking to a close friend of mine that I've known a hell of a lot longer than you just because he happens to be a werewolf and you can force me to go to prom and have a ginormous birthday party and marry you just because it's what you want, even though I want nothing to do with it and don't say anything because I'm a spineless character with no personality whatsoever!"
Excuse me while I vomit.