Dear Squeaks,
I left dinner for you in the fridge, as I'm going to be working the swing shift tonight. Don't forget tomorrow is trash day!
Love,
Mom
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and this mom sucks dick
（つ つ like the rest of those wannabe "Lets make our son like us".
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Mr Squeeksand
I know this mail may meet you as a surprise but i have to start
by introducing myself to you,i am Mr. Name, a merchant in
Dubai, Arab Emirate. I have been diagnosed with Cancer which was
discovered very late, due to my laxity in careing for my health. It has
defiled all forms of medicine, Right now I have only about a few months
to live, according to my Medical Doctor. I have not particularly lived
my life so well, as I never really cared for myself but the oil
business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I only focused
on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret
all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to
have or make all the money in the world.
I believe when God gives me
a second chance and heal me I would live my life a different way from
how I have lived it. I have sowed a seed for my healing I have willed
and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended
family members and as well as a few close friends.
I want God to be
merciful to me and accept my soul and so, I have decided to give arms
to charity organizations and give succour and comfort to the less
priviledged of the Tsunami Victims, as I want this to be one of the
last good deeds I do on earth.
So far, I have distributed money to
some charity organizations in India and Malaysia. Now that my health
has deteriorated so badly,I cannot do this my self anymore. I once
asked members of my family to close one of my accounts in Saudi Bank
and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization and
to the less priviledged in Bulgaria and Sudan Africa They cashed the
money but kept it only to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them
anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for
them already.
The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge
cash deposit of twenty two million dollars that I have in the Vault of
a Financial company in europe for safe keeping.
I want you to collect
this deposit on my behalf and disburse it to the Tsunami EarthQuake
victims in Asia and hurrican victms in America for the less
priviledged.
I will set aside 20% for you for your time and efforts.
I need your urgent reply so that I will not have to go on sourcing for
a credible person to handle this project.
If you are okey with the
condition, do not hesitate to send me mail (email} so
that i can furnish you up with all the informations needed.
I wish to
hear from you soon.
God bless you.
Mr. Name
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and 20% is not good.
（つ つ I got better deals.
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Date: 1993-09-4810
To: Jay Squeeksand
To the above Tenant and all others now in possession of the below described premises:
You are hereby requested to quit, vacate and deliver possession thereof to the undersigned on or before 09-1825, 1993.
This notice to vacate is due to your following breach of tenancy:
Should you fail, refuse or neglect to pay your rent, cure the breach, or vacate said premises within 15 days from service of this notice, I will take such legal action as the law requires to evict you from the premises. You are to further understand that we shall in all instances hold you responsible for all present and future rents due under your tenancy agreement.
Thank you for you cooperation.
Squeeks:
It's over. Don't call me. Don't IM me, don't message me on gmail. I threw away your things, so don't pretend you want to come over to pick it up.
Don't reply to this in any way, ever.
Love,
Mom
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and it is times like this that I know
（つ つ I can rely on my long-standing friendship with Marty!
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
To: squeeks@4-ch.net
From: （ ｀ハ´） (darkpa@eviloverlords.net)
Subject: All medications to cure yourself!
Date: September 4810, 1993 1:51:48 AM PST
Forget about sexual problems!
-Tired with weak penis?
-Want to have sex all night long?
-Girls don't love you anymore?
Forget about all these problems now! We have an excellent solution for you.
Buy High-quality Viagra or Cialis and save up to 80%!
Cialis as low as $5.67
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Cialis Soft Tabs as low as $5.78
Secure purchase, instant shipping, friendly support at your service!
There is no need to visit your doctor and local drug store anymore!
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・Д・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and I was promised that I would be reached
（つ つ in a confidential manner, Darkpa!!
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
I left dinner for you in the rubbish bin, as I'm going to be working the fridge tonight. Don't forget Tuesday is swing shift night!
Love,
Mum
corrected for authenticity!
Dear Mum,
I get it already!
Love,
Squeeks
Dear Squeeks:
HA HA! I AM USING THE INTERNET!
-Signed
Internet user
Dear Squeeks:
I'm afraid I have bad news. You have terminal bonitis.
-Signed
Your doctor.
Deer Squeeks
and lion roars
Dear Squeeks,
Summer camp is a lot of fun, and I'm getting along with all of my new bunk mates. We went swimming today, and later on we're going to play something called box lacrosse.
Thank you for sending me the candy. The counselors saw it, and made me share it with everyone, which really stunk, but now everyone is really friendly with me. Can you please send more?
I hope you're having as much fun as I am this summer!
yours truly,
Marty
Dear Squeeks,
Today I met another man in downtown new york. For some reason my previous boyfriend doesn't call me anymore. People in New York are sure hard to understand. But it's great! I love it here, I'm free!
Love,
Hinako
PS: Please be quick with that western union transfer (^_^)Z
Dear Squeeks,
Hi! I'm a long time reader, first time emailer!
I've been staring at digital cameras for a while, and somehow cannot make up my mind! Should I go with Nikon or Canon? It's so confusing, with all these lenses and memories and megapixels and stabilizers, I'm in a tizzy! Mr. Squeeks, they say that you're a smart guy who knows all about this stuff and things. Can you please give me a word of advice?
Sincerely,
Confused Shutterbug
Dear Squeeks,
I've been visiting and participating in your site and bulletin board for some time now. Sadly, I have noticed a trend for the worse.
I suggest you provide some sort of registration on your site so we can know who is posting what and act accordingly.
Sincerely,
Russ
Dear Russ,
My name is Squeeks and enclosed you'll find one bag of dicks. Eat it.
Most sincerely,
Squeeks
Dear Squeeks,
They are delicious dicks! I must eat them!
Russ
>>22-23 try harder
>>3 Cheque is in the post as you requested. Thank you for your business.
>>5 In compliance with your form 9 submission I hearby tell you to go stick it, I'm taking it to RTA's appeal committe.
>>6 About time.
>>8 Girls, what?
>>15 Bugger.
>>17 Stop sending me this shit or I'll start calling the police.
>>18 Hold up your end of the deal, then you get your money.
>>19 For a compact, go for a Canon. Cheaper, better quality, Nikon are hopeless at compact cameras. For DSLR's, it's divded. Canon is cheaper and has much less noise on their sensors, but Nikon has badge value and also some really good lenses.
>>21 No.
>>25 fail.
Dear Squeeks,
Yesterday I went to the sushi stand over at the train station while I was wearing the 4-ch.net t-shirt that you had mailed me. The guy behind the stand stared at it, then glared at me, and overcharged me for my pocky.
I consider this to be a flawless victory. Thank you, squeeks!
Love,
Oslo Sunni
Dear Squeeks,
Do you ever wish VIP and DQN would stop waging war with each other?
Love,
moot
Dear Squeeks:
No one has heard from Jeremy in weeks, and we're beginning to get kind of anxious. You've always been the one closest to him, so has he gotten in touch with you lately? Michelle is beginning to freak out about this, and I want to nip any drama in the bud before it starts screwing up my life.
Beyond that, how are you doing? Keep in touch, damnit!
Your friend,
Nilam Patel
Dear squeeks,
Will you at least let me have one taste of your hat?
Dear Squeeks,
4chan is down, so is 7chan
Anonymous
╭‑╮
╒╧═╲ DEAR SQUEEKS. SURRENDER
〕Д 〔
╭‑╮
╒╧═╲ SURRENDER
〕Д 〔
╭‑╮
╒╧═╲ BUT DON'T GIVE YOURSELF AWAY
〕Д 〔
Dear Squeeks,
Is Milhouse a meme?
-A Concerned Bystander
Dear Squeeks,
Did my sister gave you a bj?
She said no, but i don't belive her.
Dear Squeeks,
Did my sister gave you a bj?
She said no, but i don't believe her.
Re: http://www.myspace.com/squEEKS
Dear Squeeks,
You look different from what I expected. Go away.
Junior
Re: http://www.myspace.com/squEEKS
Dear Squeeks,
You look different from what I expected. When can we meet? I'll pay for the air fare.
Grandpa
yo squick
I be in need of dat lov suga yo got hidin der fo me.
Lulu Jermaphy
>>42 is 4chan down or something?
why these idiots are coming here?
>>43
It was. It's up now, but for some reason, the VIPPERS and /b/tards won't go away.
Dear squeeks:
I just wanted to take the time to express appreciation for this fine forum that you have provided for all of us to share our experiences and ideas. As a friendly community, 4-ch.net is near the top!
Sincerely,
your friend,
winter
Dear >>44
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
Love,
/b/
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and did somebody say DESU?
（つ つ Because I thought I heard someone say DESU!
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Winter,
We called it yesterday and now it's up 100%! Brand new
issue, Cana Petroleum, heading straight up!
VERY tightly held, in a booming business sector, with a
huge publicity campaign starting up, Cana Petroleum (CNPM)
is already bringing our readers huge gains. We advise you
to get in on this one as well and ride it to the top!
Symbol: CNPM
Current Price: 5.87
Projected Price: $15.40
／l、
(ﾟ､ ｡ ７ - What willhappen [insert adjective]>>50 get?
l、 ~ヽ
じしf_, )ノ
Dear Squeeks,
There's a piece of meat caught between my teeth and I don't know where it came from, but it's REALLY spicy.
Anyhow, I'm coming in next month. Can I crash on your couch for a few days?
Lemme know!
Consuela
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks, and No , U >>52
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks:
I want to believe in you and your miraculous powers, I really do. I was raised in a devout Tannasinn home, and as long as I remember have been hearing about your divine nature and limitless compassion. You turned water into wine, healed lepers, and even raised dead threads. I know you have boundless abilities. I also know that your compassion compels you to assist those who suffer, and to hear their agonized prayers.
I have been ceaselessly praying to you for over three years now Squeeks, yet still my prayer remains unanswered. Please tell me: Why won’t you run over my co-worker Renee with an 18 ton cement truck? Every day is another eternity of listening to Renee talk about her mildly retarded, morbidly obese child and her husband’s swollen testicles and ass-boils. I am suffering beyond the point of endurance. Please make manifest your divine Love and Grace by sending a cement truck of mercy to squash Renee flat in all your love and wisdom.
Thank you in advance -
Heidi
v 人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks, and we don't do religion here >>54
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
I was out in the garden today, turning it over and putting down manure so that it will compost over the winter, and for some reason, i kept thinking about you for some reason. Isn't that funny?
I miss you so. Won't you please call or write to me? All is forgiven. I'll never bring 'it' up again, I promise.
Love,
Renee
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks, and you couldn't bring 'it' up
（つ つ to begin with and that's why I dumped your ass!
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
This render is taking way too long. Should I restart it with radiosity turned off and just accept the lowered realism? It's for a scifi project, if that helps.
Kisses,
freelance polygon monkey
Dear Squeeks,
Do you have a girlfriend or someone you like? I have light crushes on two girls currently, but I'm not really interested in anyone, myself.
-Random Anonymous
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ >>59 My name is Squeeks, and please... this is
（つ つ not some 4-ch board!
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ >>58 My name is Squeeks and although radiosity has many potentially lucrative uses, the field of
（つ つ sci-fi art in particular is notorious for its stylized art style which emphasizes form above all
｜ ｜ | even at the expense of lighting. It's a double-edged sword. I can't recommend it to amateurs.
（_＿）＿） What this all really means, though, is that you, >>58, should just stick with the default options.
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks, and I think you just wanted to say
（つ つ "potentially lucrative"
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
When am I gonna get paid? I've been doing this job fulltime since forever!
from,
MODD
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and I pay monthly.
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
in rape dollars.
人 人 人
（＿_） （＿_） （＿_）
（＿＿）＿＿ （＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）・∀・( ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・）===（ ・∀・）＜ My name is Squeeks and what is love?
（つ つ （つ O つ Baby don't hurt me.
｜ ｜ | ｜ ｜ | Don't hurt me
（_＿）＿） （_＿）＿） No more~
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and the preview thing doesn't really work.
（つ つ Take that hard work and effort!
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
Just what am I supposed to do with this vegemite stuff anyway? It smells really strange...
Sincerely,
Emerich
Dear Squeeks,
Every day, I log onto www.becauseitswinter.com and delete spam posts, and move spam threads into the spam forum... Every day, I spend at least 15-30 minutes just cleaning up, and I've come to realize that no one actually posts any more. It's disheartening, and I've decided that having a phpBB2 forum just is not a proper solution for our friendly community. I need to replace it with something that the world's mitten enthusiasts and friendly people will truly enjoy... but what?
I have to admit that I'm fresh out of ideas, and my enthusiasm is waning by the day. Can you please offer me some guidance?
Your friend,
winter
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and but you were oh so
（つ つ eager to start that site last year.
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks:
I tried to text you, but cingular hates your tiny island nation.
Sadly,
winter
Dear Squeeks,
christianityってなんだよ？
それとSEEDに関して酷評が目立つが
そこまで嫌いなら無理して話の種にするなよ
なぜそこまでして叩くか分からない
-日本人
Dear Squeeks,
How do you type with boxing gloves on?
Love,
Your #1 Fan
Dear Squeeks,
On behalf of the nominating committee, I would like to congratulate you for being chosen as a finalist! Please fill out the affidavit of acceptance and send it back to us within 10 days.
Sincerely yours,
George Herrimann
Producer, Star Search Australia
PS: How the heck do you DO that?! We still can't figure it out!
Dear Squeeks,
After much thought, we have decided to use a different software vendor for our file dump. Thank you for all of your time and information you have sent to us. Hope you have a great New Year and God Bless.
Sincerely yours,
Monica Ingals
Dear Squeeks,
Hello. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Signed,
Indigo Montoya.
Dear Squeeks,
The 5 of us have unanimously decided to vote you out of the Superstructure. Please leave before we summon damage control units.
Dearest Squeeks,
Just a note wishing you and yours a Happy New Year, filled with joy and hope and love and mittens and stuff like that.
Red envelopes are on the way!
Love,
Your Friends Everywhere
ps: I need my snow blower back. Why the hell did you borrow it anyway?!
>>80
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My Name is Squeeks and how can you see when your eyepieces are below your eyes?
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks:
I remade http://www.becauseitswinter.com using kareha instead of phpBB2. I left the old forums intact, but hopefully this will be a new dawn for SADS sufferers everywhere, and our friendly community will once again thrive.
Thank you for your gentle words of encouragement and wise guidance that got us all through those dark times, and I hope you will continue to consider me
Your friend,
winter
>>83
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and this new forum lacks registration.
（つ つ I find it distasteful. Try SMF http://www.simplemachines.org/
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
Critical Care & Chan International Kick Off Joint Marketing and Sales. Company : Critical Care Inc.
Symbol : CTCX
Price : 0.92
3 Day Estimate : 3.50
Status : S trong b u y.
The First steps of the merger between CTCX and Chan international are being kicked off as they open 2007 with the merging of the sales and marketing departments.
These two companies are perfectly suited and CTCX's recent change in direction has excited investors and pushed share prices up leaps and bounds.Watch for BlG NEWS all week long.
Play SMART and make it wih us
THIS ONE IS GONNA START YOUR TRADING YEAR OFF RIGHT. 人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and I am reluctant to affiliate with Chan International.
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
I think I left my diaphragm in your night table, and I really need it for this weekend. Can you bring it over on your lunch break?
Thanks!
Amberly
Dear Squeeks,
Please pay the damage control guys on time. I'm tired of seeing hzaradous waste spills all over this board. Please be sure to pay them before the percloric acid dissolves all of the mittens
＿＿ ＿＿
／ ☣ ＼ ／ ☣ ＼
〔 （◢◎◣）〕 〔 （◢◎◣）〕 If Squeeks doesn't cough up soon, there may be downsizing.
（つ㍍ づ （つ㍍ づ
｜ ｜ | ｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿） （_＿）＿）
＿＿ ＿＿
／ ☣ ＼ ／ ☣ ＼
〔 （◢◎◣）〕 〔 （◢◎◣）〕 Oh no!~~
（_＿）＿） （_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
I was reading an old Tiger Beat magazine, and I realized our young female teen readers know nothing at all about the real you! This really has to be corrected for all of those girls who have pictures of you taped onto their mirrors back at home.
Therefore, can you please send us a list of things that you like, dislike, and what you are looking for in that 'special girl'?
Please try to get it in by the end of the month, and we can sneak it into the Valentine's Day issue!
To whom it may concern:
As of 07/01/01, I am not responsible for any debts except those directly incurred by myself.
Thank you, St. Jude for favours granted.
To whom it may concern:
As of 07/01/01, I am not responsible for any debts including those directly incurred by myself.
Thank you, St. Squeeks for favours granted.
To whom it may concern:
As of 93/09/4505, I am not responsible for any debts including those directly incurred by myself.
Thank you, St. Squeeks for favours granted.
"St. Squeeks, please assist me in these difficult financial circumstances. I beg you to shine the light on the resources that I need to help meet my debts and satisfy my pressing obligations."
Say this novena three times daily during the month of September, and your prayers will be answered. You must publish your request or thanks and encourage devotion to St. Squeeks.
Dear Squeeks,
Here are some "facts" I've heard about you:
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Squeeks has allowed to live.
Squeeks has counted to infinity. Twice.
The leading causes of death in Australia are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Squeeks 3. Cancer
When you play Monopoly with Squeeks, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
Squeeks did in fact, build Rome in a day.
Squeeks can speak Braille.
Are these true?
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and it's as true as the nose on your face.
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks:
Just as I promised you, I have the Anna Nicole Simpson autopsy pictures, and I'm giving you first crack at them. Better make your best offer fast, or I'm going to sell them to rotten.com.
This might be your only chance of making internet history. Lead, follow, or get out of the way, beeyatch! Just to 'whet your appetite' I've attached a little blurry gif so you can see the quality of the goods.
Anyway, you know my paypal account. Get Cracking!
Raul
Dear Squeeks,
6.You mean the world to someone.
7. Without you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique, in your own way.
9. Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever,something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.
13. Always remember complements you received, forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel, then they'll know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they're great.
16. You must be a great friend, because someone gave this too you.
If you care about them, send it back.
**SEND THIS LETTER TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CARE ABOUT, YOU WON'T GET ANY GOOD LUCK, AND YOUR CRUSH WON'T SUDDENLY LIKE YOU, BUT YOU'LL BRIGHTEN UP SOMEONE'S DAY, AND MIGHT CHANGE THEIR PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE
Dear Squeeks,
I really enjoyed our time together last time.
You really WA SHOCK.
See you around.
Mittens
Dear Squeeks,
I really enjoy this site, Channel4 BBS, because it's a BBS for fun and simple communication. There are lots of things I want to discuss today. This is the place I've been looking for, for a long time.
Yours truly,
A Loyal Fan
Dear Squeeks,
Thank you.
Love, anonymous.
Dear Squeeks,
I want a bicycle for Christmas.
I've been a good boy.
Dear Squeeks,
With AdultSheepFinder you can meet sexy sheep in your area at the touch of a button!Find the right sheep for you from our extensive database and try to arrange with their owners for a sexy encounter!Explore the erotic lifestyle of millions of sheeplovers through our Nude Sheep Photos, we even have hundreds of Sexy Webcam Sheep online everyday!Truly yours,
A. Random Kiwi
Dear Squeeks:
Dude, I swear what you did was totally fucked up. I mean shit, I can't believe you had the fucking gall to say that. Where the hell did you come up with that complete line of bullshit anyway?
Anyway, it was plain fucking wrong, and totally uncool. You're completely in the wrong on this, and I'm not about to stand up for you this time.
Seriously, think about apologizing before you burn all your bridges.
Your friend in Jesus,
Father Thomas McGuire
へ-ﾍ
ﾐ*´ｰ｀ﾐ
〜(,_ｕｕﾉ
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and chill out, dude!
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
STRUCTURED REPLY THREAD
dear sqeeks,
you probably arn't even reading this
lo-fi girl
Dear Squeeks,
I hope you are having a lot of fun on your trip. I wish I could join you, but unfortunately work keeps getting in the way. You really need to mail me your itinerary, so I'll be able to mail you at your hotels. If the letters get there before you, the concierge will hold it for you. What you you call a concierge in japan, anyway?
Anyways, take lots of pics!
Love,
CG and the gang
Mr. Squeeks:
This is to inform you that I am executing the clause in the DQN contract ending our agreement on the 5000th day of September. I'm reclaiming the title and chattle pertaining to DQN. Remove any reference to DQN from httpd.conf and bind by midnight.
Thank you for your prompt attention in this matter.
Sincerely,
Satan
Dear Squeeks,
Lordi is coming to Philly on August 17th at the Trocadero! Do you want me to get you a ticket?
Get back to me soon! I can't see how a band that completely RULED Eurovision won't sell out almost immediately!
CG
PS: Let the whole gang know about this one!
Dear Squeeks:
How's the beer in England?
Dear Squeeks,
I fucked your sister.
--Junior
Dearist Squeeks,
My travels abroad have been full filling. I have seen the pyramids of Egypt, the Effile Tower of Paris and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Every night time fun woman I have had relations with have brought back memories of you. How I miss you dearly. None of this worldly beauty amount to yours. Someday I will be back again and we will hold each other tightly and love each other forever. Now, I am off to Pakistan to meet a dear friend of mine at a place they call the Red Mosque.
Love,
Jonathan Richard Smith III
P.S. I got that aids everyone is talking about and it's lovely
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and backpacking through Japan wasn't much fun. I got beat up.
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
Sorry about that. I thought you were mackin' on my girl.
With respect,
Fisty McBully
Dear Squeeks,
No, that's a mouse. What noise does a deer make? I don't know!
Losing Sanity,
Gerald Bädpunn
Dear Squeeks:
I hope everything is going well with you. Since you're there, I have a question. What exactly is this "bacon bottie" thing that the poms keep putting into their systems? Have you had the guts to try it yourself, and if so, how did you feel afterwards?
Back here, everything is going fine, and my home will be couchsurfer approved in the next couple of months. Yay!
Truly,
CG
Dear Squeaks,
Please disregard the white powder (that is not Anthrax) that just fell out of this thread as you expanded it. It's just my dandruff (not Anthrax) acting up again. Feel free to inhale this mysterious white powder (that is not Anthrax).
Love,
Ms. Sprinkle's Kindergarten Class
p.s. Please don't find out who I am or catch me or anything like that because I'm a class of Kindergarten children and not an evil-doer.
DEAR DUUuuRURHHRH
DUR DHURHUR DHUR （●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●） DRURUHDR
LOVE,
DQN-KUN（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●)
PS DUR （●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）
Dear Squeeks,
Why are you incapable of cuteness?
Sincerely yours,
Jun
Dear Squeeks,
Thanks for using pattern.gif. It makes me feel like I made something good with my life.
The author of pattern.gif
Dear Squeeks,
Tell Jun to pour the tea.
Sincerely yours,
Shinku
Dear Squeeks,
My Diet Pepsi is flat, and I'm out of pretzels. I can't imagine how things could be worse. Should I turn the gun on myself?
Love,
Cosimo
PS It is delicious koolaid. I must drink it.
Dear Squeeks,
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, i need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
A little high, little low,
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me,
To me
Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now hes dead,
Mama, life had just begun,
But now Ive gone and thrown it all away
Mama ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine
Bodys aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody, Ive got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama ooo (any way the wind blows)
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish Id never been born at all
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche, scaramouche will you do the fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me
Galileo, galileo,
Galileo galileo
Galileo figaro-magnifico
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
Hes just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go, will you let me go
Bismillah! no, we will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No,no,no,no,no,no,no
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me,
Love,
Freddie Mercury
-- After four days journey I arrived here without any accident and in as good health as when I left Philadelphia. The conviction that you would be more improved in the situation I have placed you than if still with me, has solaced me on my parting with you, which my love for you has rendered a difficult thing. The acquirements which I hope you will make under the tutors I have provided for you will render you more worthy of my love, and if they cannot increase it they will prevent it's diminution. Consider the good lady who has taken you under her roof, who has undertaken to see that you perform all your exercises, and to admonish you in all those wanderings from what is right or what is clever to which your inexperience would expose you, consider her I say as your mother, as the only person to whom, since the loss with which heaven has been pleased to afflict you, you can now look up; and that her displeasure or disapprobation on any occasion will be an immense misfortune which should you be so unhappy as to incur by any unguarded act, think no concession too much to regain her good will. With respect to the distribution of your time the following is what I should approve.
* from 8. to 10 o'clock practise music.
* from 10. to 1. dance one day and draw another
* from 1. to 2. draw on the day you dance, and write a letter the next day.
* from 3. to 4. read French.
* from 4. to 5. exercise yourself in music.
* from 5. till bedtime read English, write &c. My Dearest Squeeks
-- After four days journey I arrived here without any accident and in as good health as when I left Philadelphia. The conviction that you would be more improved in the situation I have placed you than if still with me, has solaced me on my parting with you, which my love for you has rendered a difficult thing. The acquirements which I hope you will make under the tutors I have provided for you will render you more worthy of my love, and if they cannot increase it they will prevent it's diminution. Consider the good lady who has taken you under her roof, who has undertaken to see that you perform all your exercises, and to admonish you in all those wanderings from what is right or what is clever to which your inexperience would expose you, consider her I say as your mother, as the only person to whom, since the loss with which heaven has been pleased to afflict you, you can now look up; and that her displeasure or disapprobation on any occasion will be an immense misfortune which should you be so unhappy as to incur by any unguarded act, think no concession too much to regain her good will. With respect to the distribution of your time the following is what I should approve.
* from 8. to 10 o'clock practise music.
* from 10. to 1. dance one day and draw another
* from 1. to 2. draw on the day you dance, and write a letter the next day.
* from 3. to 4. read French.
* from 4. to 5. exercise yourself in music.
* from 5. till bedtime read English, write &c. Communicate this plan to Mrs. Hopkinson and if she approves of it pursue it. As long as Mrs. Trist remains in Philadelphia cultivate her affections. She has been a valuable friend to you and her good sense and good heart make her valued by all who know her and by nobody on earth more than by me. I expect you will write to me by every post. Inform me what books you read, what tunes you learn, and inclose me your best copy of every lesson in drawing. Write also one letter every week either to your aunt Eppes, your aunt Skipwith, your aunt Carr, or the little lady from whom I now inclose a letter, and always put the letter you so write under cover to me. Take care that you never spell a word wrong. Always before you write a word consider how it is spelt, and if you do not remember it, turn to a dictionary. It produces great praise to a lady to spell well. I have placed my happiness on seeing you good and accomplished, and no distress which this world can now bring on me could equal that of your disappointing my hopes. If you love me then, strive to be good under every situation and to all living creatures, and to acquire those accomplishments which I have put in your power, and which will go far towards ensuring you
the warmest love of your affectionate mittens
Dear Squeeks
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Dear Squeeks,
If we're so elitist, why don't we ever ban anyone? If find the decrease in quality over the pass few months highly upsetting, and I believe that the only cure is a good banning spree.
Love,
Poster #4
Dear Squeeks,
This board has improved immeasurably since September 5273rd. Thank you so much. Do you plan more bans?
Love,
DQN
Dear Squeeks, look at it this way.
On most browsers, you can bring up your browsing history by pressing Control-H. (No, this is not going to become a discussion of werecows.) On Firefox, this brings up a sidebar that shows up on the left side of the window. If you put your mouse over the edge of the sidebar, the cursor will turn into a different kind of arrow. By clicking and dragging it, you can move the edge of the sidebar back and forth. You are, to put it another way, manipulating the border between the normal window and the history window. By moving the mouse, you can increase the portion of the window devoted to either part. In a more extreme view of this situation, you're increasing or decreasing the amount of existence the sidebar has.
Now, let's apply this idea to something more abstract. Look out your window. If you don't live in a highly urbanized area, you should be able to see the horizon. Think of this as the border between the land and the sky. The land and sky are obviously distinguishable thanks to this boundary. Now, if you were to "drag" the sash between the sky and the land, or to manipulate the border between land and sky, you would end up causing the sky to become larger and the land to become smaller, or vice versa. An effect of this might be to cause something that was just on the ground to suddenly be hundreds of feet in the air. Truly a frightening situation to be in. So, look at it this way - manipulating the border between two physical things shifts whatever balance there is in the interaction between those things. Alternatively, by manipulating the border between two things, you can change the manner in which they exist.
Still, this isn't that abstract, since it's still dealing with real things in the real world. Many believe that in this world, there are those things that are true, and those that obviously aren't. This divides reality into two extremes: truth and falsehood. But, since we have two extremes, logically one can imagine a boundary between those two extremes - the border between truth and lies. If one were to manipulate this border, suddenly things that were pure fantasy (flying pigs, for the sake of argument) have become reality - or things from reality have ceased to exist. This is how Yukari is said to have invaded the moon - by manipulating the border between truth and lies, as applied to the reflection of the moon on a pond, she was able to make the reflection of the moon into a manifestation of the actual moon, and so send her youkai army onto it. This is what's truly amazing about Yukari's power - the ability to manipulate the border between completely abstract concepts allows her to fundamentally change reality as we know it (at least in terms of two abstract concepts).
Dear Squeeks,
Most early bridges would have been swept away by the strong current. The Romans also used cement, which reduced the variation of strength found in natural stone. One type of cement, called pozzolana, consisted of water, lime, sand, and volcanic rock. Brick and mortar bridges were built after the Roman era, as the technology for cement was lost then later rediscovered.
Love,
Poster #137
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Dear Squeeks,
Every historical manifesto, as a program, a collection of aims, forms and principles of a movement is basically incomplete, burdened with itself and left to the dynamism of time (e.g. the Communist Manifesto, 1848, the Futuristic Manifesto, 1909), which exposes the short-lived, demagogic character of its foundations. The Elitist Superstructure of DQN is the realization of the universality of time; our organized activity is intense agitation and permanent, systematic, propagandist and ideological offensive. In keeping with this, our basic orientational standpoints are constantly being discussed and revised. Thus the program is not a theory of dogmas, but is continuously being amended, subject to dynamic transformation, i.e., constant revision and redefinition. A complete manifesto-like version therefore does not exist, but the basic theses and program documents are formulated and systematized in several regional groups, and concentrated in them through the 10 items of the Covenant. These ten items represent the fundamental program of The Elitist Superstructure of DQN's doctrine.
Dear Squeeks,
I hope this letter finds you in better spirits. After reading your last letter, I noticed the telltale mark of teardrops smearing your words. I appreciate your efforts to maintain a brave front, but don't push yourself too hard. Remember, you have us, and our love and support will get you through this rough patch in your life.
Love,
winter
Dear Squeeks,
I can't think of anything to say.
Dear Squeaks,
I left the bear on the counter. You can use him to open your soda.
Don't forget to turn the T.V. off!
Love,
VIPPER
Dear Squeeks.
all ur base r beloning to us.
Love,
DQN
Dear Squeeks,
Sit down, and write two letters.
Love,
Squeeks
Dear Squeeks,
You are a panda and I claim my five pounds.
Love,
DQN
Dear Squeeks,
I believe that concludes our contractual obligations.
Yr. Pal,
DQN
Dear Squeeks,
Your friend.
Dear Squeeks,
Hi.
Love,
DQN
Dear Squeeks,
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Please unsubscribe me from this list. or, send a written request to Unsubscribe, Totara Park House, 34 - 36 Grays Inn Road, London WC1X 8HR
If you want to remove from our club please unsubscribe
Media
807 Third Avenue
7th Floor
New York, NY 10012-4601
Love,
Business
Dear Squeeks,
From the family tree of old school hip hop
Kick off your shoes and relax your socks
The rhymes will spread just like a pox
Cause the music is live like an electric shock
I am known to do the Wop
Also known for the Flintstone Flop
Tammy D getting biz on the crop
Beastie Boys known to let the beat... drop
When I wrote graffiti my name was Slop
If my rap's soup my beats is stock
Step from the tables as I start to chop
I'm a lumber jack DJ Adrock
If you try to knock me you'll get mocked
I'll stir fry you in my wok
Your knees'll start shaking and your fingers pop
Like a pinch on the neck of Mr. Spock
Intergalactic planetary
Planetary intergalactic
Dear Squeeks,
Your appeal has not been upheld for the following reasons:
Unfortunately the Data Protection Act prohibits us from providing you with copies of our internal procedures as you request.
This decision is final and we regret that we cannot enter into any further correspondence.
Yours sincerely
DQN
Dear Squeeks.
Squeeks.
S.
.
squeeks,
your review shows me only that you dont understand anything about movies and that you are a untalented wanna bee filmmaker with no balls and no understanding what POSTAL is. you dont see courage because you are nothing. and no go to your mum and fuck her ...because she cooks for you now since 30 years ..so she deserves it.
people like you are the reason that independent movies have no chance anymore.
uwe boll
PS: POSTAL is R RATED . The MPAA understood the satire -- you not -- you dumb fuck
Dear Squeeks,
I have something to tell you please meet me in the class room after school. I promise it won't take long.
Love,
Kanada
Dear Squeeks,
I hear that you're currently couch-surfing through Norway. I hope you're having a good time, and won't get bitten by a moose.
Truly yours,
Ken
ps: skype me sometime when you get bored!
Dear Squeeks,
If you are seriously ready to stop playing around with those get rich quick schemes that promised you millions and want to get into finding, creating and marketing YOUR OWN profitable niche products for massive profits, then keep reading!
You see, you can literally setup a web site in a niche market and have it run on autopilot, raking in thousands of dollars each month in just a few days. It is possible! I know people doing it right now and I want to show you the most simplest, easy to understand approach for executing this.
3 Reasons to Start Selling Your Own Niche Product!
Here are 3 reasons why it is imperative for you to be selling your own niche products to reach massive success!
When you find a small untapped niche market, you have no competition. The fact is, it is getting harder to make money online. So much competition is popping up in the popular markets. It is much easier to make big bucks by finding smaller, untapped niche markets to sell to.
2. The Traffic Benefits
If less people are advertising for your keywords because you found an excellent small niche market, than you can potentially drive more traffic to your site via search engine listings and pay per click keyword advertising.
It will also be easier to get people to joint venture with you to sell your niche product as there won't be people bombarding them daily with JV offers.
3. Less work.
I have found that it is a lot less work selling to a smaller, more targeted niche market than a larger one. So you will have more free time to enjoy life!
Day after day I receive emails asking..
What is the best way to make money on the internet?
In answering that question, I always wrote back the same thing. I came to the point where I had the answer in a canned email message that I would just reply with.
Well now I have wrote and simplified a system that will explode your income and generate massive internet profits.
This system that I have created is not rocket science, YOU WILL understand it and will be able to easily execute it. I have no doubts.
But wait! That's not all, there is more!
So what is the price? $100, $150, $200?? No no, unlike others, I like to give more and charge less. So here is the deal, you can get instant access to this course, 100% risk free, for only $67!
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Dear Squeeks:
While I was trying to jumpstart the 6800, I found that the mac address for ce3 was never added to ethers.conf. Can you get on that ASAP? If this dr test doesn't come off well, we may lose the contract.
Vikram
No using the internet on company time. You're fired, Vikram.
Dear squeaks,
so i herd u liek mudkipz
loev
a mudkip
dear squeeks
i wod lik a sonik too rams
from
soem guy
p.s xbox is hueg lol
Dear Squeeks,
I have upgraded your RAM. You now have 1.50GB of it. Enjoy Bioshock.
Your friend.
Dear /v/
GTEO
--
Love, Anonymous
Dear Squeeks
Who will bake the pie?
from
argh35j8t95u8695tu
Dear Squeeks:
I had a horrible nightmare last night, involving walking through a graveyard at midnight, and having a skeletal hand emerge from a grave to grab me by the ankle! It pulled me down into the dirt, and I woke up in a cold sweat.
I had to drink a glass of milk to calm down. It helped, but later,in my sleep, I wet the bed. :(
Truly yours,
Jack Schneider
Dear Squeeks,
We are 'A Panda'.
Please change it now. Real pandas aren't named ⊂二二二（ ＾ω＾）二二二⊃.
It's embarrasing to read.
Love from A Panda.
Dear Squeeks,
Please help. Nothing I spontaneously envisioned worked out like I thought it would.
Love from George Bush.
oh god how did i get there i am not good with letters
Dear Squeeks,
0000000 4d 5f 5f 5c 60 5f 5f 5f 5f 5f 50 60 60 5f 5f 5c
0000010 60 5f 50 23 5f 5f 50 44 29 60 2f 5f 5f 60 2f 5f
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0000100 60 5f 50 23 5f 60 2f 5f 5f 5f 50 23 5f 5f 50 23
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0000130 60 60 60 23 5f 0a 4d 60 60 21 3a 5f 50 60 60 5f
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0000150 50 60 60 5f 5f 5c 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 5f
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0000180 36 5f 5f 5c 60 60 60 60 60 5f 50 60 60 5f 5f 5c
0000190 60 5f 53 51 44 5f 5f 5f 5f 60 2f 5c 60 60 60 23
00001a0 5f 5f 50 23 5f 60 2f 5c 60 5f 50 23 5f 60 2f 5c
00001b0 60 0a 4d 5f 50 60 60 5f 50 23 5f 60 2f 5f 5f 5f
00001c0 5f 5c 60 5f 50 60 60 60 2f 5c 60 60 24 27 5f 60
00001d0 2f 5f 5f 60 2f 5c 60 60 2f 5f 5f 5f 50 23 5f 60
00001e0 60 23 5f 60 60 60 60 60 2f 5f 5f 5f 5f 5c 60 0a
00001f0 4d 60 2f 5f 5f 5f 5f 5c 60 60 60 23 5f 5f 5f 5f
0000200 5f 60 2f 5f 5f 60 60 60 60 60 60 23 5f 5f 50 60Love,
you know who I am.
Dear Squeeks,
M__\_____P__\_P#__PD)/__/___P#___\__\_P`/\`_P____
M_P_P#_+0#_#___\_____\@C_P``_P#__P#___\#_/___P`
M__\_P#_``/__`/\`_P#_948>`/__`/\`_P_P`______\_____P#_
M#_#_``________#__RW__P`_P#_/__/____\_P#___\__\
MI0#___\_P#_/___P#__P#_/\\:P#___\_P#__P#__P______\`#_
M!:_P__\_P_____P_P__\`__\_P_P#___\/__
M/__#_/^6__\``_P``__\`_SQD____`/\#__P#_/\P#/\
M_P_P#_`/____\`_P/\$'_/__/\/___P#_#_`/____\
M/____\#_____`/__`#__P
Love,
you know who I am.
Dear Squeeks,
34834g9h3tg89340t490390h39042h3y0-2hy0
Sincerely,
Jumped over the bandwagon.
Dear Jay Squeeksand,
Sales are shitty this month, and the cat is looking awfully hungry. What's the best cheap catfood you can recommend? There's no way I can buy both Iams and enough ramen to keep me going.
Thanks in advance for your advice.
Seejee
ps I read in theregister today about Australia's dick-biting snakes. Is that for real?
Dear Seejee:
Just buy enough catfood for both yourself and the cat, and share all month.
Jay Squeeksand
P.S. The Register is one gigantic trolling organization, secretly run by the GNAA.
Dear Squeeks,
THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT FRIEND
@-)--)(-----Happy Online----)(---)-@ Friendship Week!!
FROM ME TO YOU!!!
___ ____
___
____( \ " "
/ )____
(____ \____ / (0 0) \ ____/
____)
(____ '-------( ) )-------'
____)
(____ ______________\ .____. /_____________ ___)
(_____/ '-.____.-'
\_____)
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
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*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
*Hug* *Hug* *Hug* *Hug*
Just send this to your online friends sometime this week!!!
We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade. --Caroline
Norton
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ve
Send this to five people who mean the world to you--brighten someone'say--let
them know that you care! :) Send this back to the person who sent it to you!Dear Squeeks:
You've caught me sitting at my desk, enjoying a soft pretzel and a Diet Coke for breakfast, a bit of a tradition that I picked up back in high school that has persisted for more years than I can count.
Does it really matter that I can't count to thirty? I'm still employable, ain't I?
What are you breakfasting on today?
Curiously,
Ekky Ekky Ekky
Dear Squeeks,
Where are you, chiefs, people, and commons from my ancestors, and people from foreign lands?
Hear ye! I make known to you that I am in perplexity by reason of difficulties into which I have been brought without cause, therefore I have given away the life of our land. Hear ye! but my rule over you, my people, and your privileges will continue, for I have hope that the life of the land will be restored when my conduct is justified.
Done at DQN, 4-ch, this 5414th day of September, 1993.
Kamehameha III.
Kekauluohi.
Dear Squeeks:
The geable is over 9000!1111111Jfgnfjkdghduifghd**u**FROG BLAST THE VENT CORE
Dear Squeeks,
The Obama-Clinton contest was hard fought and ended well, because it has given birth to a new sensation: globamaisation. This refers to the notion that in a developed and deepened democracy, like the United States, the lines between politics, culture, colour, creed and history are happily collapsing.
Globamaisation is the beginning of a new dawn whereby techno-democratic forces will drive silent revolutions across the globe.
Tunde Oseni
Oxford
Dear Squeeks,
Thanks for the board. The refined, cultured stupidity here makes my day.
Dear Squeeks,
I came home to find the digital cable box blinking on and off, and found that it was dead. On further investigation, I found an incriminating hairball on top of the box. Now, I'm not naming names, but someone small and gray is now forbidden from sleeping on top of warm electronics for the rest of her days.
That's it for me. How's London treating you?
Truly,
Ken
Dear Squeeks,
WHY DON YOU PRICKS GIV ME DISCOWNT ON PHONE I BOT ADVERTIESMEN ASYS I GET $20 DOLLAR OF MINUTES FOR BUY NOOKIA 6115T I BOUGHT NOKIA 7155A-S ITS SAME THINGS NOW I WANT MY MINUTE GIVE ME MY MINUTE OR I HUNT YOU DOWN AND HURT YOU I TALK WITH YOUR ASSHOLE STEVE B ON PHONE HE SAYS I SIGN VERBAL CONTRACT BUT YOU DON HAVE MY SIGNATUR SHOW ME MY SIGNATUR ON CONTRACT YOU ARE ALL FAGITS DON YOU KNOW WHO I AM I MAKE 2 HUNDRED THOSAND DOLLAR A YEAR I JUST GO TO VEIRZION WITH MY MONEY KINDLY GO TO HELL
Yours Truly,
"Scooter"
PS I AM A LAWYER SEE YUO IN CORT
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and I think >>187 should kill his cat as they are worthless parasitic creatures.
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
Let us suppose that the discipline of human reason can not take account of our understanding. The employment of our judgements would be falsified, by means of analysis. Because of the relation between the never-ending regress in the series of empirical conditions and natural causes, it is obvious that we can thereby determine in its totality, indeed, our ampliative judgement. Our understanding, in so far as this expounds the universal rules of the Ideal, can thereby determine in its totality the objects in space and time, as is shown in the writings of Aristotle. We thus have a pure synthesis of apprehension.
Since none of our faculties are speculative, what we have alone been able to show is that, in reference to ends, space, in particular, constitutes the whole content for our sense perceptions. To avoid all misapprehension, it is necessary to explain that by means of our understanding, we can deduce that, insomuch as the Ideal relies on our a priori concepts, the things in themselves are a representation of our ideas.
Love,
Psypa.
Dear Squeeks,
Hello I am COOLGUY ELITIST and I made the best post in this thread a long time ago, before other people who are not COOLGUY ELITIST starting posting in it.
Dear Squeeks,
I have received your letter of the 19th instant . . . asking my opinion as to your standing as a naval architect, and whether from your experience [illegible] enterprise, and faithful performance of your engagements in the way of your profession you can be relied upon.
It gives me great pleasure to state in reply, that you sustain the reputation in this country, and I have no doubt deservedly, of being a naval architect of great skill and enterprise, and that I should count with confidence of a faithful performance of any engagement in the way of your profession in which you might think it proper to embark.
You have before I came into it been extensively employed by the government in that [illegible] and have, as I have always understood, done it full justice.
I am very respectfully
your obedient servant
Andrew Jackson
Dear Squeeks,
Your message was perhaps one of the strangest pieces of email I have ever received. Although it is flattering to have a ``fan club'', in fact, it is a very bad idea. Unlike most of human society, science and engineering are based on the idea that each of us is capable of evaluating evidence and thinking on our own. Each of us can do experiments, work out the reasoning, and determine the truth for ourselves. There is no room in science or engineering for ``fans'' representing group approval over individual thought. One of my heros, Galileo, put it very well:In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual.I am pleased to talk with people about matters of science or engineering, so you and your colleagues may certainly send me mail. I hope to learn as much from your experiences as you may learn for me. But please get rid of the ``cult of personality'' way of thinking. It is unscientific and ultimately destructive.Love and waffles,
Gerry
Dear Squeeks,
I've upgaded to version 8.28.8 of the non-free ati drivers, but I still can't seem to get the Fn-F7 thing to work on my ThinkPad. The release notes says:
> This release of the ATI Proprietary Linux driver provides Display Switching support for IBM/Lenovo Thinkpad products containing a supported ATI Radeon® Mobility™ product. This feature allows users to use the hotkey function Fn+F7 to toggle between display devices connected to the laptop.
How do I make this work? Thanks.
Dear Squeeks,
penis penis penis penis penis
Regards, and thanks in advance.
Dear Squeeks,
The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5.
The Law of Fives is never wrong.
Kindest regards,
Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatus
Dear Squeeks,
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
Dear Squeeks,
I don't really know why you have a sudden modesty breaking out in dress throughout the Mediterranean or Europe from the Ancient Times to the Medieval Era. I've read of the dress of Cretan Women being a fluted blouse with no top on their breasts, a contrast to Scandinavian women who dressed in a high-neck tunic but had skirts that scarecly went to the mid thigh. My guess is that it was simply prevaling culture and fashion, with the germanic migrations enforcing their trouser-domination. While there might be some protection gained from wearing pants, or perhaps wearing some sort of quilted or padded leggings, I've heard it said that the common infantryman was rarely encouraged to have heavy metal armor on his legs given they'd be walking (Unless mounted infantry). Perhaps legs for a soldier on foot are less of a target than on horseback.
Either way, a solution would be towards having women who have legs either clothed in tight fitting pants (for not cock-killing), with greaves and hip armor, or with a naked leg like the greeks with greaves and so forth.
Sadly no hardcore of this catgirl.
Dear Squeeks,
To me, the most critical thing in the hobby market right now is the lack of good software courses, books and software itself. Without good software and an owner who understands programming, a hobby computer is wasted. Will quality software be written for the hobby market?
Almost a year ago, Paul Allen and myself, expecting the hobby market to expand, hired Monte Davidoff and developed Altair BASIC. Though the initial work took only two months, the three of us have spent most of the last year documenting, improving and adding features to BASIC. Now we have 4K, 8K, EXTENDED, ROM and DISK BASIC. The value of the computer time we have used exceeds $40,000.
The feedback we have gotten from the hundreds of people who say they are using BASIC has all been positive. Two surprising things are apparent, however, 1) Most of these "users" never bought BASIC (less than 10% of all Altair owners have bought BASIC), and 2) The amount of royalties we have received from sales to hobbyists makes the time spent on Altair BASIC worth less than $2 an hour.
Why is this? As the majority of hobbyists must be aware, most of you steal your software. Hardware must be paid for, but software is something to share. Who cares if the people who worked on it get paid?
Is this fair? One thing you don't do by stealing software is get back at MITS for some problem you may have had. MITS doesn't make money selling software. The royalty paid to us, the manual, the tape and the overhead make it a break-even operation. One thing you do do is prevent good software from being written. Who can afford to do professional work for nothing? What hobbyist can put 3-man years into programming, finding all bugs, documenting his product and distribute for free? The fact is, no one besides us has invested a lot of money in hobby software. We have written 6800 BASIC, and are writing 8080 APL and 6800 APL, but there is very little incentive to make this software available to hobbyists. Most directly, the thing you do is theft.
What about the guys who re-sell Altair BASIC, aren't they making money on hobby software? Yes, but those who have been reported to us may lose in the end. They are the ones who give hobbyists a bad name, and should be kicked out of any club meeting they show up at.
I would appreciate letters from any one who wants to pay up, or has a suggestion or comment. Just write to me at 1180 Alvarado SE, #114, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87108. Nothing would please me more than being able to hire ten programmers and deluge the hobby market with good software.
Love, Bill
Date: Tuesday, July 29, 2008, 9:23 AM
Dear Squeeks,
Read carefully...
THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USA TODAY - IT IS FOR REAL
To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages,
But this is from my friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is
an attorney.
If she says that this will work - It will work. After all, what have
you got to lose?
SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I'm an
attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured
AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for
fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one
filed by Peps iCo ag ainst General Electric not too long ago.
Dear Friends: Please do not take this for a junk letter.
Bill Gates sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later.
Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies
and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the
most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail
beta test.
When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will
track it (If you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week
time period.
For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay
you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on,
Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives
it, You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact
you for your address and then send you a check.
Regards. Charles S Bailey General Manager Field Operations
1-800-842-2332 Ext. 1085 or 904-1085 or RNX 292-1085
Thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after rec eiving this
e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and
within days, I received a check for $24, 800.00. You need to respond
before the beta testing is over. If anyone can afford this, Bill gates is
the
man.
It's all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many
people as possible. You are bound to get at least $10, 000.00
We're not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without
getting a little something for our time. My brother's girlfriend got in
on this a few months ago. When I went to visit him for the Baylor/UT
game, she showed me her check. It was for th e sum of $4,324.44 and
was stamped 'Paid In Full'.
Are you there Squeeks? It's me, Jesus.
Dear Squeeks,
Those of us who worked at The Economist in the late 1940s shared John Maynard Keynes’s consensus view of the hungry 1930s. We believed then that distance had added no enchantment to Stanley Baldwin, a Tory centrist, and Ramsay MacDonald, Britain’s last previous too right-wing Scots Labour prime minister. They wasted in mass unemployment a decade of under-demand that should have been used for national development. They echoed the muddle of the 1931 May committee in supposing that tightened budgets were morally needed in great depressions.
Today’s clones of Baldwin and MacDonald are not just David Cameron and Gordon Brown. Terrifyingly, they include both Barack Obama and John McCain.
Since the present credit crunch will bring longer under-demand than did the Wall Street crash in 1929, Britain’s wisest and most Keynesian policy would be an income-tax holiday for at least the poorer half of its too many income-taxpayers. This temporary increase of about ￡40 billion ($60 billion) to the annual budget deficit would be spent by its beneficiaries on the (probably mostly service) activities that are a rough snapshot of Britain’s next ￡40 billion of most-likely growth industries once the slump is over. Add in free trade for all imports from countries with cheaper labour, and fears that the budget deficit could bring inflation during the under-demand sound oxymoronic.
The probably imminent President Obama seems intent on punishing bust Lehman banks by making the better-run American banks uneconomic, through imposing such political over-regulation that every First National Bank of Anywhere would have to employ hugely expensive teams of lawyers. Britain’s aim should be to avoid such a plague, and to make London the cheapest centre to run any bank from. Instead we are trying to establish international cartels that forbid banking competition between countries, and we boast that these bail-outs will cost mega-billions, which nobody can possibly afford.
Norman Macrae
London
DEAR SQUEEKS,
I KNOW U READ THIS LETTER.
IM MASTERBATING THINKING ABOUT IT.
LOVE. IN A GAY WAY.
DEAR SQUEEKS,
HELLO SQUEEKS UR NUMBER #1 FAN HERE!
I WAS THINKING OF CARVING UR NAME INTO MY FOREHEAD WITH A SCALPEL OUT OF DEDICATION AND A SYMBOL OF OUR LOVE.
SHOULD I CARVE IT "Squeeks" OR "squeeks"??????
A LOWERCASE "S" WOULD HURT FAR LESS BUT TO BE FAIR THAT SEEMS SOMETHING STUPID TO THINK ABOUT WHEN THE "queeks" WILL BE PROCEEDING IT, ANYWAY THANKS FOR TAKING YOUR TIME OUT OF UR BUSY SCHEDULE TO READ THIS MESSAGE!!!!!!
KEEP UP DA GOOD WORK!!!!ILOVEYOU!!!!!!!!!
SQUEEKSFAN3222
XOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOX
Dear squeeks,
I couldn't help but notice that this thread had dropped off the main page, and I didn't want you to feel neglected. We all still love and miss you. Are you still coming over on Thanksgiving, and are you bringing your friend?
Let us know whether we need a bigger bird!
With all our love,
Keksi and the kids
DEAR SQUEEKS
I HAVE WAITED 4 LONG YOU'RE ANWSER, BUT HAVENT GOT ANYTHING. RWGARDLESS, I KNOW YOUVE READ IT BECAUSE U KNOW I LOVE U
PS >>206 IS A FAGOT
LOVE AND REPLY PLZ
squeeks:
take it easy!
love,
reimu and marisa
Dear Squeeks,
George W. Bush is an ADMITTED MEMBER of Skull and Bones. It is a SECRET SATANIC SOCIETY and his father and grandfather belonged to it as well. THIS IS A WELL KNOWN FACT that has even been pointed out in the media. However, they do not tell you directly about the sinister evil that is THE SKULL AND BONES.
The father of George Bush showed he was SKULL AND BONES when he used the phrase "THE NEW WORLD ORDER" in one of his Presidential speeches.
The ignorant and uninformed masses of the world don't believe in things like BLACK MAGICK. George W. Bush and his family and his fellow bonesmen ALL PRACTICE BLACK MAGICK!
In Black Magick great importance is put on certain numbers. 666 is THE BEAST. Those familiar with Revelations know 666 personifies evil. Half of 666 is 333, it is the female aspect of the beast to some in BLACK MAGICK. 333 is also connected to Choronzon the Arch Angel of Daath. Choronzon can be considered to be the major DEMON of Black Magick.
IT WAS NO MISTAKE that the DARK FORCES that control the White House and George W. Bush CHOSE the 3rd Week of the 3rd Month of the Third year of the Third Millennium to show WHO CONTROLS THE WAR IN IRAQ! IT IS PURE EVIL.
The double three (33) is the highest degree in Masonic Rites.
The whole city of Washington DC was built based upon Masonic Numerology. It even appears in the design of US Currency.
Most within the USA are clueless and don't believe that EVIL SATANIC SOCITIES control their government, large businesses and media. BUT THEY DO.
Within the Ivy League schools of the USA EVIL SECRET SOCITIES operate freely. They all choose the brightest or best connected students to enter their EVIL SECRET CULTS. Skull and Bones is just one such satanic cult that controls many aspects of American life. For generations the future leaders of the USA were chosen to become BLACK MAGICK occultists in Ivy League Schools. The general population has been led to believe that such things don't exist. YET THEY DO!
For George W. Bush to OPENLY START THE WAR ON IRAQ on such an EVIL AND HOLY DAY IN BLACK MAGICK was an arrogant and egotistical action.
GEORGE W. BUSH IS PURE EVIL.
GEORGE W. BUSH IS A PRACTICING BLACK MAGICK OCCULTIST!
BLACK MAGICK has been used to pollute the minds of America for years.
Who invited the self-confessed PRINCE OF DARKNESS aka Ozzy Osborne into the White House? GEORGE W. BUSH.
Ozzy Osborne is now a clueless old man. But he used his SATANIC ALIGNED MUSIC to pollute the minds of many.
His initial band was called BLACK SABBATH. Now Ozzy probably has no clue as to what evil he played with his whole adult life. But THE BLACK SABBATH IS REAL and practiced by real satanists!
If you pray to or worship DARK FORCES they will take over you.
What did George W. Bush say to Ozzy? WE LOVE YOU OZZY!
GEORGE W. BUSH LOVES THE DARK!
GEORGE W. BUSH IS A SATANIST!
GEORGE W. BUSH chose to start his EVIL WAR on Iraq on a date that occultists can easily see as a MAJOR UNHOLY DAY!
Shalom,
Sollog
Dear Squeeks,
Judging by this video of a beach in Sydney, Australians are about half a centimeter tall. Can you confirm or deny this?
Thanks in advance!
Dear Squeeks,
As I said at the start of this feature it is difficult to know just when the beginning was. The earliest comprehensive list appeared in Tom Knietel's book. At that time the following callsigns were reported to be active.
ART CIO EZI GBZ GPO JSR KPA MIW NDP PCD SYN ULX VLB YHF
ART CIO EZI JSR KPA MIW PCD SYN ULX VLB & YHF all seem to have remained stable in terms of the three letter identifications used. GPO which was a very active station at one time seems to have ended but new callsign FTJ seems to have taken its place. Several other call-signs have also appeared between 1984 and the present day. These are OEM TMS and ZWL. To be absolutely honest the whole of the archives information is something of a minefield, mainly due to poor logging techniques and inaccurate and spurious information which has crept into various other publications over the years
So where do we go from here? Well I must admit that 'Langley Pierce had the right idea when he tackled the subject in his book, he concentrated on just two callsigns and headed everything else special broadcasts - - However I am not going to follow this route and at the risk of producing a long article intend to give you all the known facts - A little earlier I mentioned the habit of throwing all the callsigns together under one heading, So now I would like to break the stations down into the three headings. Before doing so I feel it is worth mentioning that I am dealing with the present operating position - Going back to some of those unconfirmed callsigns will likely confuse both you and me.
Dear Jo,
Draw another pic.
Love,
DQN
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DEAR SQUEEKS,
WE HAVE YOU'RE DOTTER, IM SORRY ABOUT UR FAILURE TWO NEGOSHIATE. COM TOO /FASHION/ AT MIDNIGHT WITH $600.000 AN U WILL C HER A GAIN, DONT CALL THE POLICE, WE WILL SHOT...
SINSERLY,
???
Dear Squeeks,
Why am I posting in such an awful thread, and why does 4-ch suck?
Thanks,
( ˃ ヮ˂)
dear squeeks,
so, how doy ou like yoru new kitchen?
That'll teach you
a heron
Dear Squeeks,
Thank you for this board. ^_^
Also, DQN DQN LOL
Signed, Anonymous
Dear Squeeks,
marry me.
Love,
DQN.
Dear Squeeks,
I lost the will to live in 1996. What should I do?
Love,
Dude,
Just chill out, okay?
Everything's cool now.
The Other Dude
Squeeks,
First, let me take a moment to thank you for your time and
professionalism during our school system's review of your company's
software program, 4-ch. It was truly a pleasure working with you
during this time.
Although we did think highly of your program, we have decided to select
another organization's software program for our current needs. Feel
free to contact me in the future if I can assist you in any way.
Thanks you,
winter
Dear Squeeks,
Chrisssssssss ﾞﾐ;;;;;,_
ミ;;;;;;;;､;:..,,.,,,,,
i;i;i;i; '',',;^′..ヽ
ﾞゞy､､;:..､） ｝
.¨.､,,,､,,r_,ノ′
/;:;":;.:;";i; '',',;;;_~;;;′.ヽ
ﾞ{y､､;:...:,:.:.､;:..:,:.:. ._ ､｝
".¨ｰ=v ''‐ .:v､,,､,r,ノ′
/;i;i; '',',;;;_~⌒¨;;;;;;;;ヾ.ﾐﾞ´ﾞ^′..ヽ
ﾞ{y､､;:...:,:.:.､;:..:,:.:. ._ .､） ､｝
".¨ｰ=v ''‐ .:v､冫_._ .､,,,､,,r_,ノ′
/i;i; '',',;;;_~υ⌒¨;;;;;;;;ヾ.ﾐﾞ´ﾞ^′.ｿ.ヽ
ﾞ{y､､;:..ゞ.:,:.:.､;:.ﾐ.:,:.:. ._υﾟo,,'.､） ､｝
ヾ,,..;::;;;::,;,::;):;:;:; .:v､冫_._ .､,,,､,,r_,ノ′
/:::::::::: ,,,,;;::::::::::::::: ヽ
/::::::::: "＿＿ :::: ,,::::::::::::,,,, |
/::::::::: - '"-ゞ,●＞ :::::. __ '' |
/:::::::: :::::: ＜'●, ｜
｜:::::: ( ○ ,:○) |
｜::::::: |
｜:::::: __,-'ﾆニニヽ |
＼:::::: ヾニ二ン" ,／
＼::::: ／ヽ ミ ３
＼ ／（ |
／::::::: l ヽ
/;::::::: ＼ ＼
/:::::: ,,＿／＼ |
|::::::: ~ | ゝ＿＿＿ノ
ヽ、＿＿＿＿ノヽ'
Hi Squeeks,
I got a message from Al that you had called. Through all my pleading and near begging, winter chose that other product in the end. I am calling them every day with little issues and I miss 4-ch badly! I'm sorry! He said that his decision was based on 4-ch's tech support being so much more expensive than that other product. I hope you have a wonderful Holiday and New Year!
Thanks for your help!!!
JT
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ´-∀-） ＜ Not to be confused with the default shell of FreeBSD.
（つ旦⊂）
と＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
If you see the Buddha on the road, SPEED UP!
Truly yours,
Laxteh Funni
Dear Squeeks,
I'm trying to figure out what to have you post to me from the land of the Rising Sun. Admittedly, I'm drawn to the idea of plushy yukkuris, but having a nendoroid Miku would also be awesome. So many decisions, so little time.
Anyway, I'll think hard on this, and paypal you once I figure it all out.
Ken
ps: Don't drink dry beer, mate. AbE hates it too.
September the 5805th, 1993
Elitist Superstructure
My very dear Squeeks,
I do hope that you have been maintaining yourself decently. As for myself, I have no complaints. As you are very well aware, there is no escape―no possible alternative―from the bearing I have been impelled to take. I understand your misgivings upon the matter, and while I empathise with you, I cannot, for love of God and Country. abandon that which I have been sworn to defend, that noblest of causes I have made course to uphold.
My dear, dear Squeeks, it is not hatred that demands my removal from you at this most crucial of moments. Rather, it is love―love for you, for my Realm, for its People and their Welfare. This is my Oath, sworn upon that which, apart from you yourself, I hold most dear.
It is this Duty that lashes me onward, never ceasing, as a stagecoach driver in the dead stillness of night. For, dear Squeeks, we are not truly Free men. We may have the illusion of Freedom, even the reality, perchance―but, critically, we may never and can never expose ourselves to its full Splendour. For Squeeks, it is that very, cherished Freedom of ours that compels us towards Destiny that we may not have desired, nor anticipated, nor scarcely imagined possible. How wondrous, how marvelous, is Man's capacity, his unimpeachable manner, to form himself onto paths through happenstance, like a flock of sheep herding itself towards Fate uncertain! How marvelous, how immeasurably subtle and beautiful, are the workings of the Divine, that have created such Mechanism upon this Good Earth!
Darling Squeeks, there is little I can add here. What I can testify in the coming Struggle I imagine will be close and roughly contested, but I assure you, in the name of the Superstructure and Almighty God Above that we will give our damndest to Preserve and Guard the Sacred Oath. I cannot promise―how I wish I could promise!―that we will arise victorious (God willing,) or that, if such is the case, I shall live to see that moment. How strange, how marvelously proud it is, that as Men's lives are governed by their own self-imposed Nature, Nature herself shapes Man through her own Ineffable Will. Nature stands proud; she stands aloof. She watches, a stern immovable Guardian, just as we strive to be guardians of the Faith. Her seasons, her rhythms, the passing of two Great Armies, Father Sol and Mother Luna, shining and glistening, as the Earth revolves, as the Interplay of all that is known and unknown, ford across the Veil of the Impossible into the Realm of the Empirical. If there is any Miracle, on this or any other World, that must be the Pinnacle.
Give my Love and Best Wishes to Carrie and the Children. Merciful Lord permitting, I shall see them once more, on this Green Earth, and if not more, than in the Far Country, beyond the Celestial Motions and the Reckoning of Man, to a land where there will be need no more for Deeds like ours.
My fondest prayers and regards,
( ˃ ヮ˂)
Squeeks, Darling,
Every day without you by my side is agony. When will you return to my arms?
Love,
Mom
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and you still have 3 long, harsh years to worry about it.
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
Greetings, everyone. I am new. (One second - let me get this spork out of the
way.) My name is Katy, but you can call me the Penguin of Doom. (I'm laughing
aloud.) As you can plainly see, my actions have no pattern whatsoever. That is
why I have come here. To meet similarly patternless individuals, such as myself.
I am 13 - mature for my age, however! - and I enjoy watching Invader Zim
with my girlfriend. (I am bisexual. Please approach this subject maturely.)
It is our favorite television show, as it adequately displays stochastic
manners of behavior such as we possess.
She behaves without order - of course - but I wish to meet more individuals
of her and my kind. As the saying goes, "the more, the merrier."
Ah, it is to laugh. Anyway, I hope to make many friends here, so please
comment freely.
DOOOOOOOOOM!
That is simply one of many examples of my random actions. Ha, ha. Fare
thee well. I wish you much love and waffles.
Yours,
The Penguin of Doom.
squeeks:
It's almost my time again, so hey, I thought I'd give you a chance wayyyy in advance to tell me what you want for Christmas.
Don't be modest, and don't be greedy, and I'll see what I can do for you, okay?
Dear Katy:
I fucked your Mom.
Love,
Dad
Dear Squeeks
Interpol knows! GET OUT WHY YOU STILL CAN!
Sincerely,
Your accomplish.Dear Squeeks,
Ever since I was three I knew that something was something different in my sexual preferences, as time went on I realized that I liked anime babes and hentai. Ever since then I have been looking at anime porn and such, I'm not attracted to real girls that much. If I see a girl naked I won't like it but If I see hentai I'm all in for it. Since I'm a christian I'm wondering if God made me this way for punishment or something, I don't blame him at all. He didn`t have to make me anyway so I thank him for simply making me. Anyway is it normal for me to like anime babes or not? Should I tell my parents or hide this secret from them? I'm looking at this HOT anime babe in her bra and panties and I'm hard as heck! But is this a sin?
Please help!
Yours sincerely,
Name and address supplied
Dear Mr. Squeeksand,
Prestigious and expensive watches have always been the # 1 accessory for every man who values his time, money and status. And what model of watch do you have?
Love,
Spammers
(in your inbox)
Dear Squeeks,
This one time, I was in a game, and I decided to play the moon, because I like characters that are edgy yet loners that are always just out of reach kinda like Sasuke, but still feminine cause im a girl irl (lol no girls on the internet hehe) So I joined the game when it was already in progress, and this weird guy who is the dm's friend was playing an asteroid. As soon as he learns Im playing the moon he crashes his asteroid into the earth. Now Im like wtf? cause the dm decides that since his impact changed the development of life on earth so much he could reroll as the Earth with no penalty even though the rules say no advanced life on your planet without a -3 LA. So I'm like whatever, but then he makes his evolution check and develops sentient life. He kept making weird comments about "going to the moon" and kept staring at my breasts, so I rolled to escape gravity well and made the check but the DM said I failed anyways because my STR was only +3 and he said house rules said I needed +5 to make escape velocity. The next session, the DM's friend pulls out the book of erotic fantasy and the DM ok's it, and Im like wtf? Next thing I know, the Earth is launching unprovoked advances on my character and landing all over me without my permission. I roll for unstable surface conditions but fail, now the Earth is landing all over me and I can't do anything to stop it. What should I do Squeeks?
Squeeks, your mother wants you to go home and eat.
What if Squeeks Mom died tragically and this thread is a constant source of pain for him
Dear Squeeks,
haha your mom's dead
Signed with little regard,
( ・-・)
Hey, Jo:
Where you going with that gun in your hand?
Sincerely,
winter
Dear Squeeks,
thank you for washing my dirty socks.
Dear Squeeks,
I'm sorry that I haven't written to you in such a very long time. It's just that my nail-biting habit led to an infection, and they had to amputate my index fingers (both hands!). I had to endure many months of occupational therapy before I could hand-write again.
Let my misfortune be a lesson to you, dearest Squeeks, and whenever you get the urge to bite those cuticles, think of eight-fingered me, and Resist! Resist! Resist!
Truly,
Cosimo Gunsou
Dear Squeeks, is it true that isn't Vegemite on top of your head?
Dear Squeeks,
I love those round fat shoes you wear. Where can I get some?
Dear >>251,
They're Uggs. Check out http://www.uggaustralia.com/Mens/index.aspx and remember, Buy Ozn!
Dear Squeeks,
I slept with my co-worker, and now we can't speak to each other! How will we ever finish up our production of The Man Who Would Be King?
Yours Truly,
M.C.
Dear Squeeks,
When I am with you, I feel alive. You bring to me a happiness that no one else ever could. You bring to me a love I have never known before. I could not imagine what my life would be like without you. You have touched my heart in ways no one could ever comprehend. I love being with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Every day I wake up thanking God for you. You have given me so much, and I don't know if I will be able to give back all that you have given me. You have been my guiding light when I was lost. You have been my comforter through all my trials and sorrow. You have been my rock.
Sometimes I feel lost and out of touch, but when you’re there, I feel safe. Your voice soothes me. I could sit here and try to tell you just how I feel, but I can't find the words other than I am ecstatic we met and have gotten together after all we've gone through.
I want to tell you that the love I have for you is undying. It is a love that is strong and enduring and will stand the test of time. I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life, and I cannot wait for the day that we can join our lives together. I want to lie next to you at night and fall asleep in your arms. I want to wake to your beautiful smile. I want to share in your joys and sorrows. I want to be your everything, because you are everything to me.
I promise to always love you and always hold you in my heart. I will always be here for you when you need me, and I will love you no matter what life brings us. You are my soul mate, and I vow to love you all eternity. I love you, baby.
Yours,
Sherry
Dear Squeeks:
I noticed that you had failed to answer my followup question on formspring, so I realized that you would be more comfortable answering it in this venue.
So, to reiterate:
What is beauty?
Skin deep.
Fine response, Squeeks. My followup question, again, is this:
If beauty is, as you say, skin deep, what would you consider balls deep?
Thank you in advance for your prompt response.
Sincerely yours,
Avid Fan
Dear Squeeks,
Your days are numbered.
Love,
A Friend
Dear Squeeks,
Good day My Friend,
I am Captain Simon Smith of the US Marine Force on Monitoring and Peace
keeping mission in Baghdad-Iraq. On the 7th day of May 2007, we were
alerted on the sudden presence of some Terrorists camping in a suburb not
too far from Karbala here in Iraq . After Immediate intervention, we
captured three (3) of the Terrorists, twenty-six (26) were killed leaving
seven (7) injured.
In the process of torture they confessed being rebels for late Ayman
al-Zawahiri and took us to a cave in Karbala which served as their
camp.Here we recovered several guns, bombs and other Ammunitions including
some boxes among which two contains nuclear weapons, one filled with hard
drugs(cocaine) and the other four to my amazement contain some US Dollars
amounting to $24 Million after I and two of my junior intelligent officers counted
them. I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy.
I am in keen need of a “Reliable and Trustworthy” person like you who would
receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for me
up on till my assignment elapses in here in Iraq. I assure and promise to
give you 14% of this fund, however feel free to negotiate what you wish to
have as your percentage in this business.
Please assure me of your keeping this topmost secret to protect my job with
the US Monitoring and Peace-Keeping mission.
pleases contact me throught my personal email: (simonsmith@wwwwwwwwww.com)
Sincere regards,
Capt Simon Smith.
Dear Squeeks,
It was nice to see you again. Do you know how many years have passed since I saw you last? How's your wife FRAU BAW and kids? They sare should be happy with you. I wish I were you.
Captain Quattro, he is a CHAR
He should be becoming the leader but is satisfied with being mere soldier. I really don't like his attitade of escaping from reality.
Dear Squeeks:
I heard our friend got accepted to the JET program, just like Azrael. Before he gets kancho'd out of existence, we should plan a field trip. Still have your folding bike?
Dear Squeeks:
Don't stop.
Dear Squeeks:
It's been months since we last talked on AIM. I painted you a picture before leaving, I hope you liked it.
-VIPPER
Dear Squeeks,
COOL FREE RINGTONES
FREE MONOPHONIC AND POLYPHONIC RINGTONES
Love,
Spambot.
Mon ami Squeeks,
Arigato con su bicicleta.
Con mucho ai,
Senor winter-chan
Dear Squeeks,
I want you to stop sending me pictures of your penis. They are not welcome. I also want you to stop standing outside my house and watching me.
From,
Your loving sister
Dear Squeeks,
Where are those pictures you were going to send me?
From,
Your loving mom.
Dear Squeeks,
I hate that wakaba sign in my name degrades to "ὓ0" every time I post. I feel like I'm being mocked. Please fix this ASAP.
Your best and only friend,
( ˃ ヮ˂)
Dear S.,
―D.
Dear Squeeks,
I'm sorry about that Youtube Poop video that shows my gigantic disembodied floating head chasing you around shooting lazers out of my eyes pew pew pew, but I have no control over the people who post such things.
Love,
Colin Mochrie
Dear Squeeks
Rob is jarig! En hij is 19!
Regards
Cumstick McFaggotnig
Dear Squeeks,
You know all those cracker and cereal and oatmeal boxes on top of the fridge? Well, look, I don't mind that we have a system going. It's a good system.
However, as you snack away on, say, a perfectly good family-size box of Hot & Spicy Cheez-it® Baked Snack Crackers (the only cheese cracker made with TABASCO® Green Pepper Sauce)―which I really don't mind, honest―please remember to sort of wrap up the bag inside as well as the cardboard tabs, hm? Today, in a fit of hunger, I instinctually grabbed some munchies and without thinking, ate a cracker that had been exposed to the open air for some time (I can't even tell how long). It was a mistake, I admit, but it wasted about 15 minutes of my time as I tried to wash the taste of whatever had been growing on that cracker out of my mouth. Plus, I had to throw that entire box out. There couldn't have been more than, say, 20 Hot & Spicy Cheez-it® Baked Snack Crackers been eaten out of there.
It was at this point that I realized that all the tabs on all the other boxes were also open. Fortunately, they had the sealed bags, so there was no collateral damage. All's I'm asking is you take more care to seal things up, so we don't have to throw out things that should have been edible. You know how it is; I gotta be out of town for weeks at a time because I do the whole con circuit, yadda yadda. Actually, wait. I don't know if I ever told you that's why I'm away, ha ha. Well, now you know how I pay my share of the rent. Seriously though, we're cool, you do a bang-up job of not breaking things while I'm out. Keep up the good work!
Love,
Your roommate
Dear Squeeks
Give me a hug! And let's hang out sometime ;)
Your friend
near
Comrade Squeeks:
Rations running short. 5 of our tanks not working out of the remaining 8 and not enough fuel for the remainder. I fear for my comrades' morale. We have 2 days' worth of vodka remaining and 3 days' coffee if we are frugal. This is a monstrous war. I worry that I will not see you again. I have put in this bag my medal for distinction in service. I ask that you see that my son get this if I do not return.
Dear Squeeks,
You are a good person. Were I to have a garden party, you would definitely be invited.
Yours sincerely,
Andrew
dear squeeks
Wanna fuck, tootsie?
Rob
Dear Squeeks:
It was lots of fun riding Boris bikes with you and going to eat Indian food. Come to the USA and I'll reciprocate!
Truly,
winter
Dear Squeeks:
The reactor is running smoothly, the missiles should be online within the week, please resend affirmation of targets.
Sincerely,
Robert.
Dear Squeeks,
If you want to see your precious bishoujo figures uncreamed, leave \1,000,000 in an unmarked bag at the base of the clocktower at 12:00. No funny business.
Yours sincerely,
You-Know-Who.
Dear Squeeks:
Still alive?
Dear Squeeks,
Just thought I'd drop by. Thank you for leaving the light on.
-N
Dear Squeeks:
I’m 17 and was single for a couple of months until I met the love of my life.
We’ve been together for almost a month but it feels more like a year when you consider how we feel about each other.
However, I recently found out that he has a seven-month-old son from his previous relationship.
He says he didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to lose me.
The mother of his child is 18 and my boyfriend is 22. Somehow, I feel they are still in touch.
I am still a virgin and also a Christian, and I haven’t told my mum about my boyfriend’s situation. I know she would be negative.
My boyfriend has begged me to stay and apologised for not telling me about his son.
I am totally confused. Can things be the same and can I still have a future with him?
dear squeeks, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture ((I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx
Dear Squeeks,
The world is ending around us, and I don't know how much time we have left. I just want you to know that I love you. I always loved you. When my time comes, my final thought will be a memory of your beautiful smile.
Forever yours,
(*ﾟーﾟ)