Dear Squeaks,
I left dinner for you in the fridge, as I'm going to be working the swing shift tonight. Don't forget tomorrow is trash day!
Love,
Mom
Dear Squeeks,
Chrisssssssss ﾞﾐ;;;;;,_
ミ;;;;;;;;､;:..,,.,,,,,
i;i;i;i; '',',;^′..ヽ
ﾞゞy､､;:..､） ｝
.¨.､,,,､,,r_,ノ′
/;:;":;.:;";i; '',',;;;_~;;;′.ヽ
ﾞ{y､､;:...:,:.:.､;:..:,:.:. ._ ､｝
".¨ｰ=v ''‐ .:v､,,､,r,ノ′
/;i;i; '',',;;;_~⌒¨;;;;;;;;ヾ.ﾐﾞ´ﾞ^′..ヽ
ﾞ{y､､;:...:,:.:.､;:..:,:.:. ._ .､） ､｝
".¨ｰ=v ''‐ .:v､冫_._ .､,,,､,,r_,ノ′
/i;i; '',',;;;_~υ⌒¨;;;;;;;;ヾ.ﾐﾞ´ﾞ^′.ｿ.ヽ
ﾞ{y､､;:..ゞ.:,:.:.､;:.ﾐ.:,:.:. ._υﾟo,,'.､） ､｝
ヾ,,..;::;;;::,;,::;):;:;:; .:v､冫_._ .､,,,､,,r_,ノ′
/:::::::::: ,,,,;;::::::::::::::: ヽ
/::::::::: "＿＿ :::: ,,::::::::::::,,,, |
/::::::::: - '"-ゞ,●＞ :::::. __ '' |
/:::::::: :::::: ＜'●, ｜
｜:::::: ( ○ ,:○) |
｜::::::: |
｜:::::: __,-'ﾆニニヽ |
＼:::::: ヾニ二ン" ,／
＼::::: ／ヽ ミ ３
＼ ／（ |
／::::::: l ヽ
/;::::::: ＼ ＼
/:::::: ,,＿／＼ |
|::::::: ~ | ゝ＿＿＿ノ
ヽ、＿＿＿＿ノヽ'
Hi Squeeks,
I got a message from Al that you had called. Through all my pleading and near begging, winter chose that other product in the end. I am calling them every day with little issues and I miss 4-ch badly! I'm sorry! He said that his decision was based on 4-ch's tech support being so much more expensive than that other product. I hope you have a wonderful Holiday and New Year!
Thanks for your help!!!
JT
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ´-∀-） ＜ Not to be confused with the default shell of FreeBSD.
（つ旦⊂）
と＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
If you see the Buddha on the road, SPEED UP!
Truly yours,
Laxteh Funni
Dear Squeeks,
I'm trying to figure out what to have you post to me from the land of the Rising Sun. Admittedly, I'm drawn to the idea of plushy yukkuris, but having a nendoroid Miku would also be awesome. So many decisions, so little time.
Anyway, I'll think hard on this, and paypal you once I figure it all out.
Ken
ps: Don't drink dry beer, mate. AbE hates it too.
September the 5805th, 1993
Elitist Superstructure
My very dear Squeeks,
I do hope that you have been maintaining yourself decently. As for myself, I have no complaints. As you are very well aware, there is no escape―no possible alternative―from the bearing I have been impelled to take. I understand your misgivings upon the matter, and while I empathise with you, I cannot, for love of God and Country. abandon that which I have been sworn to defend, that noblest of causes I have made course to uphold.
My dear, dear Squeeks, it is not hatred that demands my removal from you at this most crucial of moments. Rather, it is love―love for you, for my Realm, for its People and their Welfare. This is my Oath, sworn upon that which, apart from you yourself, I hold most dear.
It is this Duty that lashes me onward, never ceasing, as a stagecoach driver in the dead stillness of night. For, dear Squeeks, we are not truly Free men. We may have the illusion of Freedom, even the reality, perchance―but, critically, we may never and can never expose ourselves to its full Splendour. For Squeeks, it is that very, cherished Freedom of ours that compels us towards Destiny that we may not have desired, nor anticipated, nor scarcely imagined possible. How wondrous, how marvelous, is Man's capacity, his unimpeachable manner, to form himself onto paths through happenstance, like a flock of sheep herding itself towards Fate uncertain! How marvelous, how immeasurably subtle and beautiful, are the workings of the Divine, that have created such Mechanism upon this Good Earth!
Darling Squeeks, there is little I can add here. What I can testify in the coming Struggle I imagine will be close and roughly contested, but I assure you, in the name of the Superstructure and Almighty God Above that we will give our damndest to Preserve and Guard the Sacred Oath. I cannot promise―how I wish I could promise!―that we will arise victorious (God willing,) or that, if such is the case, I shall live to see that moment. How strange, how marvelously proud it is, that as Men's lives are governed by their own self-imposed Nature, Nature herself shapes Man through her own Ineffable Will. Nature stands proud; she stands aloof. She watches, a stern immovable Guardian, just as we strive to be guardians of the Faith. Her seasons, her rhythms, the passing of two Great Armies, Father Sol and Mother Luna, shining and glistening, as the Earth revolves, as the Interplay of all that is known and unknown, ford across the Veil of the Impossible into the Realm of the Empirical. If there is any Miracle, on this or any other World, that must be the Pinnacle.
Give my Love and Best Wishes to Carrie and the Children. Merciful Lord permitting, I shall see them once more, on this Green Earth, and if not more, than in the Far Country, beyond the Celestial Motions and the Reckoning of Man, to a land where there will be need no more for Deeds like ours.
My fondest prayers and regards,
( ˃ ヮ˂)
Squeeks, Darling,
Every day without you by my side is agony. When will you return to my arms?
Love,
Mom
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and you still have 3 long, harsh years to worry about it.
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
Greetings, everyone. I am new. (One second - let me get this spork out of the
way.) My name is Katy, but you can call me the Penguin of Doom. (I'm laughing
aloud.) As you can plainly see, my actions have no pattern whatsoever. That is
why I have come here. To meet similarly patternless individuals, such as myself.
I am 13 - mature for my age, however! - and I enjoy watching Invader Zim
with my girlfriend. (I am bisexual. Please approach this subject maturely.)
It is our favorite television show, as it adequately displays stochastic
manners of behavior such as we possess.
She behaves without order - of course - but I wish to meet more individuals
of her and my kind. As the saying goes, "the more, the merrier."
Ah, it is to laugh. Anyway, I hope to make many friends here, so please
comment freely.
DOOOOOOOOOM!
That is simply one of many examples of my random actions. Ha, ha. Fare
thee well. I wish you much love and waffles.
Yours,
The Penguin of Doom.
squeeks:
It's almost my time again, so hey, I thought I'd give you a chance wayyyy in advance to tell me what you want for Christmas.
Don't be modest, and don't be greedy, and I'll see what I can do for you, okay?
Dear Katy:
I fucked your Mom.
Love,
Dad
Dear Squeeks
Interpol knows! GET OUT WHY YOU STILL CAN!
Sincerely,
Your accomplish.Dear Squeeks,
Ever since I was three I knew that something was something different in my sexual preferences, as time went on I realized that I liked anime babes and hentai. Ever since then I have been looking at anime porn and such, I'm not attracted to real girls that much. If I see a girl naked I won't like it but If I see hentai I'm all in for it. Since I'm a christian I'm wondering if God made me this way for punishment or something, I don't blame him at all. He didn`t have to make me anyway so I thank him for simply making me. Anyway is it normal for me to like anime babes or not? Should I tell my parents or hide this secret from them? I'm looking at this HOT anime babe in her bra and panties and I'm hard as heck! But is this a sin?
Please help!
Yours sincerely,
Name and address supplied
Dear Mr. Squeeksand,
Prestigious and expensive watches have always been the # 1 accessory for every man who values his time, money and status. And what model of watch do you have?
Love,
Spammers
(in your inbox)
Dear Squeeks,
This one time, I was in a game, and I decided to play the moon, because I like characters that are edgy yet loners that are always just out of reach kinda like Sasuke, but still feminine cause im a girl irl (lol no girls on the internet hehe) So I joined the game when it was already in progress, and this weird guy who is the dm's friend was playing an asteroid. As soon as he learns Im playing the moon he crashes his asteroid into the earth. Now Im like wtf? cause the dm decides that since his impact changed the development of life on earth so much he could reroll as the Earth with no penalty even though the rules say no advanced life on your planet without a -3 LA. So I'm like whatever, but then he makes his evolution check and develops sentient life. He kept making weird comments about "going to the moon" and kept staring at my breasts, so I rolled to escape gravity well and made the check but the DM said I failed anyways because my STR was only +3 and he said house rules said I needed +5 to make escape velocity. The next session, the DM's friend pulls out the book of erotic fantasy and the DM ok's it, and Im like wtf? Next thing I know, the Earth is launching unprovoked advances on my character and landing all over me without my permission. I roll for unstable surface conditions but fail, now the Earth is landing all over me and I can't do anything to stop it. What should I do Squeeks?
Squeeks, your mother wants you to go home and eat.
What if Squeeks Mom died tragically and this thread is a constant source of pain for him
Dear Squeeks,
haha your mom's dead
Signed with little regard,
( ・-・)
Hey, Jo:
Where you going with that gun in your hand?
Sincerely,
winter
Dear Squeeks,
thank you for washing my dirty socks.
Dear Squeeks,
I'm sorry that I haven't written to you in such a very long time. It's just that my nail-biting habit led to an infection, and they had to amputate my index fingers (both hands!). I had to endure many months of occupational therapy before I could hand-write again.
Let my misfortune be a lesson to you, dearest Squeeks, and whenever you get the urge to bite those cuticles, think of eight-fingered me, and Resist! Resist! Resist!
Truly,
Cosimo Gunsou
Dear Squeeks, is it true that isn't Vegemite on top of your head?
Dear Squeeks,
I love those round fat shoes you wear. Where can I get some?
Dear >>251,
They're Uggs. Check out http://www.uggaustralia.com/Mens/index.aspx and remember, Buy Ozn!
Dear Squeeks,
I slept with my co-worker, and now we can't speak to each other! How will we ever finish up our production of The Man Who Would Be King?
Yours Truly,
M.C.
Dear Squeeks,
When I am with you, I feel alive. You bring to me a happiness that no one else ever could. You bring to me a love I have never known before. I could not imagine what my life would be like without you. You have touched my heart in ways no one could ever comprehend. I love being with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Every day I wake up thanking God for you. You have given me so much, and I don't know if I will be able to give back all that you have given me. You have been my guiding light when I was lost. You have been my comforter through all my trials and sorrow. You have been my rock.
Sometimes I feel lost and out of touch, but when you’re there, I feel safe. Your voice soothes me. I could sit here and try to tell you just how I feel, but I can't find the words other than I am ecstatic we met and have gotten together after all we've gone through.
I want to tell you that the love I have for you is undying. It is a love that is strong and enduring and will stand the test of time. I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life, and I cannot wait for the day that we can join our lives together. I want to lie next to you at night and fall asleep in your arms. I want to wake to your beautiful smile. I want to share in your joys and sorrows. I want to be your everything, because you are everything to me.
I promise to always love you and always hold you in my heart. I will always be here for you when you need me, and I will love you no matter what life brings us. You are my soul mate, and I vow to love you all eternity. I love you, baby.
Yours,
Sherry
Dear Squeeks:
I noticed that you had failed to answer my followup question on formspring, so I realized that you would be more comfortable answering it in this venue.
So, to reiterate:
What is beauty?
Skin deep.
Fine response, Squeeks. My followup question, again, is this:
If beauty is, as you say, skin deep, what would you consider balls deep?
Thank you in advance for your prompt response.
Sincerely yours,
Avid Fan
Dear Squeeks,
Your days are numbered.
Love,
A Friend
Dear Squeeks,
Good day My Friend,
I am Captain Simon Smith of the US Marine Force on Monitoring and Peace
keeping mission in Baghdad-Iraq. On the 7th day of May 2007, we were
alerted on the sudden presence of some Terrorists camping in a suburb not
too far from Karbala here in Iraq . After Immediate intervention, we
captured three (3) of the Terrorists, twenty-six (26) were killed leaving
seven (7) injured.
In the process of torture they confessed being rebels for late Ayman
al-Zawahiri and took us to a cave in Karbala which served as their
camp.Here we recovered several guns, bombs and other Ammunitions including
some boxes among which two contains nuclear weapons, one filled with hard
drugs(cocaine) and the other four to my amazement contain some US Dollars
amounting to $24 Million after I and two of my junior intelligent officers counted
them. I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy.
I am in keen need of a “Reliable and Trustworthy” person like you who would
receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for me
up on till my assignment elapses in here in Iraq. I assure and promise to
give you 14% of this fund, however feel free to negotiate what you wish to
have as your percentage in this business.
Please assure me of your keeping this topmost secret to protect my job with
the US Monitoring and Peace-Keeping mission.
pleases contact me throught my personal email: (simonsmith@wwwwwwwwww.com)
Sincere regards,
Capt Simon Smith.
Dear Squeeks,
It was nice to see you again. Do you know how many years have passed since I saw you last? How's your wife FRAU BAW and kids? They sare should be happy with you. I wish I were you.
Captain Quattro, he is a CHAR
He should be becoming the leader but is satisfied with being mere soldier. I really don't like his attitade of escaping from reality.
Dear Squeeks:
I heard our friend got accepted to the JET program, just like Azrael. Before he gets kancho'd out of existence, we should plan a field trip. Still have your folding bike?
Dear Squeeks:
Don't stop.
Dear Squeeks:
It's been months since we last talked on AIM. I painted you a picture before leaving, I hope you liked it.
-VIPPER
Dear Squeeks,
COOL FREE RINGTONES
FREE MONOPHONIC AND POLYPHONIC RINGTONES
Love,
Spambot.
Mon ami Squeeks,
Arigato con su bicicleta.
Con mucho ai,
Senor winter-chan
Dear Squeeks,
I want you to stop sending me pictures of your penis. They are not welcome. I also want you to stop standing outside my house and watching me.
From,
Your loving sister
Dear Squeeks,
Where are those pictures you were going to send me?
From,
Your loving mom.
Dear Squeeks,
I hate that wakaba sign in my name degrades to "ὓ0" every time I post. I feel like I'm being mocked. Please fix this ASAP.
Your best and only friend,
( ˃ ヮ˂)
Dear S.,
―D.
Dear Squeeks,
I'm sorry about that Youtube Poop video that shows my gigantic disembodied floating head chasing you around shooting lazers out of my eyes pew pew pew, but I have no control over the people who post such things.
Love,
Colin Mochrie
Dear Squeeks
Rob is jarig! En hij is 19!
Regards
Cumstick McFaggotnig
Dear Squeeks,
You know all those cracker and cereal and oatmeal boxes on top of the fridge? Well, look, I don't mind that we have a system going. It's a good system.
However, as you snack away on, say, a perfectly good family-size box of Hot & Spicy Cheez-it® Baked Snack Crackers (the only cheese cracker made with TABASCO® Green Pepper Sauce)―which I really don't mind, honest―please remember to sort of wrap up the bag inside as well as the cardboard tabs, hm? Today, in a fit of hunger, I instinctually grabbed some munchies and without thinking, ate a cracker that had been exposed to the open air for some time (I can't even tell how long). It was a mistake, I admit, but it wasted about 15 minutes of my time as I tried to wash the taste of whatever had been growing on that cracker out of my mouth. Plus, I had to throw that entire box out. There couldn't have been more than, say, 20 Hot & Spicy Cheez-it® Baked Snack Crackers been eaten out of there.
It was at this point that I realized that all the tabs on all the other boxes were also open. Fortunately, they had the sealed bags, so there was no collateral damage. All's I'm asking is you take more care to seal things up, so we don't have to throw out things that should have been edible. You know how it is; I gotta be out of town for weeks at a time because I do the whole con circuit, yadda yadda. Actually, wait. I don't know if I ever told you that's why I'm away, ha ha. Well, now you know how I pay my share of the rent. Seriously though, we're cool, you do a bang-up job of not breaking things while I'm out. Keep up the good work!
Love,
Your roommate
Dear Squeeks
Give me a hug! And let's hang out sometime ;)
Your friend
near
Comrade Squeeks:
Rations running short. 5 of our tanks not working out of the remaining 8 and not enough fuel for the remainder. I fear for my comrades' morale. We have 2 days' worth of vodka remaining and 3 days' coffee if we are frugal. This is a monstrous war. I worry that I will not see you again. I have put in this bag my medal for distinction in service. I ask that you see that my son get this if I do not return.
Dear Squeeks,
You are a good person. Were I to have a garden party, you would definitely be invited.
Yours sincerely,
Andrew
dear squeeks
Wanna fuck, tootsie?
Rob
Dear Squeeks:
It was lots of fun riding Boris bikes with you and going to eat Indian food. Come to the USA and I'll reciprocate!
Truly,
winter
Dear Squeeks:
The reactor is running smoothly, the missiles should be online within the week, please resend affirmation of targets.
Sincerely,
Robert.
Dear Squeeks,
If you want to see your precious bishoujo figures uncreamed, leave \1,000,000 in an unmarked bag at the base of the clocktower at 12:00. No funny business.
Yours sincerely,
You-Know-Who.
Dear Squeeks:
Still alive?
Dear Squeeks,
Just thought I'd drop by. Thank you for leaving the light on.
-N
Dear Squeeks:
I’m 17 and was single for a couple of months until I met the love of my life.
We’ve been together for almost a month but it feels more like a year when you consider how we feel about each other.
However, I recently found out that he has a seven-month-old son from his previous relationship.
He says he didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to lose me.
The mother of his child is 18 and my boyfriend is 22. Somehow, I feel they are still in touch.
I am still a virgin and also a Christian, and I haven’t told my mum about my boyfriend’s situation. I know she would be negative.
My boyfriend has begged me to stay and apologised for not telling me about his son.
I am totally confused. Can things be the same and can I still have a future with him?
dear squeeks, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture ((I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx
Dear Squeeks,
The world is ending around us, and I don't know how much time we have left. I just want you to know that I love you. I always loved you. When my time comes, my final thought will be a memory of your beautiful smile.
Forever yours,
(*ﾟーﾟ)