>>252's fat furry paws are so short he's never touched himself
Because you touch yourself at night, >>253. And you're a panda.
>>260 ∈ { x in { x } : Panda(x) }
set theory makes life so simple dunnit
>>262 is the lead Panda from http://panda3d.net/
>>272 throws exception at other Pandas as a part of his circus act.
>>273 is a monadic panda returned by function pandadance :: Panda -> Panda -> Maybe Panda
>>274 designs clothing for pandas by pandas. Selling them under the brand FPBP.
>>278 is a puppy Panda. And by "puppy" I mean that he wears a fursuit.
>>280 is the Panda of Wind, guarding the crystal of the second dungeon.
>>285 is only eating the bamboo that humans don't want to eat.
>>286 is a panda who pretends to be a bear who pretends to be a panda.
"Not the cuddly wuddly panda!" you exclaim, possibly chewing on a gender neutral flax-soy bar. Well guess what? The panda is nature's loser, an animal so far gone that it won't even have sex without the aid of several Chinese zookeepers. When a species' sole responsibility is to "get busy" and it still doesn't bother, then we, as people who have to go to goddamn work every day, lose sympathy.
Speaking as men, we can tell you--when an animal has lost interest in its own penis, it wants to die. Scientists are considering cloning the species, but when you've got a room full of super-biologists stuck photocopying an animal that was too stupid to exist the first time, it isn't going to be long before they start thinking: "We could build a far better panda--with four arms! And laser vision! And neon pink! And isn't mystified by its own genitals!"
Pandas might be doing it themselves (by not doing it themselves), but as long as they have the "awww big teddy weddy bear!" appeal people are going to keep them around. But we know the secret that will truly encourage their extinction: they're carnivores. The cute color scheme blinds people to the fact that it's still a couple hundred pounds of goddamned bear.
Bamboo is their depression comfort food since they've become too slow and fat to hunt anything but firmly rooted plants, but they'll still eat any small animals they get their paws on. We have a plan to stop all the panda-pandering. We can't get into it now, but it involves a zoo, a basket of puppies, and a YouTube account.
>>299 is Pandamandius, King of Pandas. Look upon his bamboo, ye mighty, and despair.
>>312 Was locked up the the Pandahar prison because he attempted to have sex with a panda cub.
>>322
Was eating pandas during 4ch's downtown.
Also, he is a cannibal
>>332 visits a prostitute and asks if he can perform oral sex on her. The prostitute agrees and >>332 goes ahead. When he's finished >>332 gets up and walks out. The prostitute yells: "Hey, you forgot to pay". >>332 walks back in, takes a dictionary from the shelf and shows her the definition of Panda: "A Panda is an animal that eats bush and leaves".
>>334 is supportive to the plight of Iraq in a way that only a panda can be.
>>335 works towards a free Tibet for the sake of his fellow pandas.
>>337 can't help but rumble in a sexy pandalike fashion whenever an attractive pandette passes his way.
>>338 Bit into a green plastic pipe, because he is a Panda with weak eyesight.
panda, panda, panda, panda, pan
panda!
panda, panda, panda, panda, pan
china!
panda, panda, panda, panda, pan
i like!
I admit it.
I am a Panda.
I'm an endangered black and white bastard.
I eat barely digestible bamboo for most of my waking life to make up for my refusal to eat meat.
I have been raised in a cage for the entertainment of primates and as such couldn't manage to enact coitus with a female panda if she pressed her genitals against my face.
But I can't help myself dammit, it's just the way I am.
