4-ch shines with the collection of stuff we really know about. Feel free to add.
-women generally wear high heeled shoes in bed
-nurses in hospitals do not need to have similar uniforms at all
-there is a holy sequence of order in copulation which is always the same. Therefore the good part always starts around halfway of the movie.
-all women without exception are thrilled if you squirt over their clean clothes or hair.
-as long as women get pleasured they are unaware or do not care about the gender of her partner(s)
-about fifty percent of all women do not wear panties
-there exists no such woman that uses tampons.
-Asia Carrera is sex on two legs, I tell you what
-women are objects
Just as beer is bad after wine, pussy is bad after anal
>>4-6 are permabanned
-womans vocabulary in bed is limited to "Oh yeah," "Fuck me," "Oh God," and some variations on "Oooh!" and "Aaah!" Outside bed they tend to rely mostly on body language.
Women ALWAYS get massive orgasms when you rub your cock between their breasts.
All Japanese girls have 16 pixels for a vagina.
A woman not making noise for more than five seconds is not genuinely enjoying herself and they're faking it.
All Japanese men have an invisible penis.
Japanese women look like they're suffering, baring their lower teeth and looking close to a nervous breakdown. But really, they are very sensitive and have difficulty handling the intense pleasures.
All Japanese men have a weird, blocky, pixelated penis.
In Japan, genitals have black dashes across them.
I see we clearly have different types of porn, at least between Japanese and Western (not cowgirl western, I'm talking about Europe/America)
given the specific tastes of the general public of 4-ch, this thread is now opened for all knowledge concerning hentai and yaoi as well!!!
-inserting penis in cervix is easily possible by forcefully pulling it down (grab via colon)
-if you touch a woman at her erogenous zones, she becomes defenseless immediately and very horny at least one page later
Rape is always successful. Only when the last rapist has let out his last drop will the victim be allowed to be saved/escape/beat the guys to a pulp/make a pun. Failed rape attempt is not in the Japanese dictionary.
make a pun.... lol
Steroid using muscle girls are never having sex with guys, because their vaginal muscles will reflexively chop off a guy's wang.
>>that's a thing bothering me in the startrek series too... how do they know that the female species don't chop of the wang inside to procreate?
>>the only biological difference among startrek's alien species is the arrangement of lumps on their foreheads
In Star Trek, the species' only physiological differences are in forehead configuration and skin-tone.
>>That was either synchronicity, or I have an evil doppleganger
I think it was JISAKU JIEN.
[hentai]
really horny boys can also penetrate the uterus
Not to mention the urethra,, the nipples, and in extreme cases, the ovaries.
>>30
Call that extreme? I take it you haven't seen the gif where a girl gets fucked vagoo to nostril/mouth.
31 getting in 20 year old poster thread.
32 i mean
fuck 33 i mean 34
>>356 typoget
Nope. I've seen the one where the guy fucks the girl so hand she literally splits in half though.
Impressive thing was, it was horizontally.
>>37 sounds like some mangaka who had a warped concept of what sandwiching is all about.
Everything John K Pe-ta has ever drawn is 100% real to life.
With enough skill, one can penetrate all 12 orifices with one penis/tentacle.
please elaborate on the 12 orifices. I can only count 8 and that already includes ears and urethra...
Earx2
Eyesocketx2
Nostrilx2
Mothx1
Nipplesx2
Urethrax1
Vaginax1
Assx1
And that's not counting things like tits and hands, which can be used like orifices
>>43 I didn't know eyesockets could be used as orifices. they look pretty closed to me.
Semen is the tastiest substance on earth, and you can apparently taste it on your face.
Do not ever talk about getting creampie when you're in the company of other people
>>43 I didn't know moths could be orifices. they look pretty closed to me.
>>43
You also neglected to mention open wounds
most girls would look like porn starlets if they just didn't wear clothes
Nobody needs a Kleenex after they've had sex.
>>48
Moths have orifices of their own.
Being able to penetrate them probably isn't something to brag about, though.
There is nothing more beautiful than the love between a Japanese woman and 25 eels.
"Who's your daddy" is a good thing to say in bed.
If, during the act of coitus, one happens to be wearing what is termed a "cowboy hat" in the colonies, atop one's head, it is customary at one point or another to exclaim "NOT TODAY YOU DON'T" at the act's "receiving" party's protestations.
There is no such thing as a dry vagina
This works only in the regular restaurants. Use this to gain access to SubWay Premium Service. I got this from a good friend of mine who used to work in the SubWay kitchen, and still make use of it frequently. Here goes.
When you go to SubWay to buy a sandwhich, you should know that there's a secret code in the form of an exact recipe of your sub. You want the wholewheat bread, halfsized, with chicken. Have it toasted. Refuse the cheese but ask for extra butter. No lettuce, but cucumber and peppers and that's it for vegetables. You want mayonaise sauce AND chili-sauce on that. The waitress will ask if you really want that, but stand firm and insist on this order. This is crucial to the process. No salt, no pepper. Not for take-away but for consumption on the spot. When you pay, give exact change, receive the single 'sub-club' coupon, put it in your mouth and swallow it while still at the counter. When you have done this all correctly, you will be taken through the kitchen to a special private room. The waitress will spend an hour with you, you can do all you want with her, she will love it and it is completely free of charge.
Now you also know why subway only hires clean, young girls. Protip: select your waitress by intelligent use of the line i.e. let other people in front of you to be the one in line for your desired waitress.
p.s. don't forget your Sandwhich when you leave the place! happened to me a couple of times hehehe :)
This is no spam, I've typed the story here on 4-ch for the first time and never shared it so far. Go try it out, you know you want to!
wait wait wait. my subway does not offer chili sauce or butter. what do i do? also, is half-sized 6 inch or half of a 6 inch?
There are fat Japanese women, but they never have sex with guys, they just sit on them until the guy gets hurt. http://jams.kir.jp FTW
Girls don't poop. Their assholes can be streched 3 inches across, and not a hint of brown is in there.
>>63
The moment they hear those key words, they start the secret ritual.
>>67 is correct. The point is to submit the correct code, the resulting sandwich is of lesser importance.
-Men are never impotent.
-When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
-If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
-Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
-Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
-Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
-Women always orgasm when men do.
-A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding fine.
-All women are noisy fucks.
-People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
-A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
-Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
-If there are two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
-Double penetration makes women smile. (And DVDA really makes them tickled pink)
-If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
-When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
-Nurses suck patients' cocks.
-Men always pull out.
-When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
-Women never have headaches... or periods.
-When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
-A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
-Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
-Men don't have to beg.
-When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
>>69 wow! very true, most of them. Truly expert knowledge, And a very watchful eye.
-men may also place both hands on the womans head when she blows.
-women will also frequently say 'fuck me' when she clearly already has a big bone in her cunt pumping wildly. I'm unsure whether this is an invitation to keep going on, or whether the confirmation is to make herself understand what's happening and to gain the illusion of being in control.
-not every nurse sucks cock, but night-nurses do by definition.
-regarding the woman caught masturbating by a strange man, she will in fact only be happy that she can get real meat, but she'll fake embarrassment sometimes.
If the situation calls for it, every man is gay and every woman is a lesbian.
-Anal sex seems to be as easy as normal penetration. Also, the female anus and lower colon are naturally clean and there is no objection to taking a penis into mouth that has been inside a womans ass for a while.
Lube is never necessary.
Nobody ever gets cramps.
Black people have penises long enough to touch their knees with
If a spaceship is manned by an all female crew, a tentacle-d monster is surely lying in wait somewhere on said ship. For rape.
The girl always gets only 1 orgasm, always at the same time as the guy, and always announces it clearly.
If you are a guy, and you happen to find yourself in a women-only building, you will be sexed by multiple girls. If you look nerdy, you will be sexed by multiple girls until you pass out and can't tell if you were dreaming, or if something really happened.
Bottles have a purpose. Putting something inside bottles... is the world upside down.
bump
>>81
That is not a lesson learned from porn why did you say it
>>78
And amazingly enough the orgasm seems intimately connected to the act of ejaculating; if the male character is wearing a condom at the time, his female counterpart will certainly be left wanting.
>>83 In the rare event that the female gets an orgasm before the guy(s), the male(s) will use it as blackmail against her. She'll be very ashamed for being such a slut.
pee tastes good.
shit tastes delicious
Cum is mana from heaven.
>>87
But it only comes out of Germans and Japanese. Other nationalities don't produce it.
nurses are remarkably good looking for their meagre pay, and their working environment proves to be unexpectedly varied.
I have seen various miraculous recoveries of male patients, frequently with various, apparently severe bone fractures, due to the healing medicine of lust and tight pussy. In fact, so strong is the power of the flesh that even rather exotic positions can be attained relatively easy.
All wrestling matches end up with something sticking into some hole regardless of gender or sexuality.
All girls will find a camera, and stare at it like they are taking a family picture at K Mart while being reamed savagely.
Tasers work differently in Japan than in the rest of the world. The girl will always go limp and pass out, and wake up an hour later in bondage, ready for sex.
Now matter how cool you think you are with porn, there is a fetish to make you vomit.
And someone will be turned on when you do.
Creampie will never taste the same anymore
Every woman no matter how young or old loves the cock.
Girls generally can't wait to become 18 and have their tender hips strewn around some heavy mans' waist and their just-now legal lower body ravaged by a huge bone. Camming it just heightens their tension.
Young boys are all build like horses. Those rare ones who aren't can bring to orgasm women three times their size with little effort.
and young boy are all ways tricked into a "horse show"
The average male penis is between 8-10 inches and the average bra size is 36DD.
Hermaphrodites (futanari) have no balls but can spurt semen like forever.
There's no point in using lubrication during buttsex. Ever.
(also >>101 you silly wabbit, semen doesn't come from the balls. Sperm cells do, but that's like 1% of the entire emission.)
There's a time for this and a time for that. Also there's always time for sex, especially if a cameraman is present.
All lesbians secretly want the cock, and instantly become bisexual the moment a well-hung man enters the room.
All lesbians are femme. Butch lesbians are a myth, and do not exist.
It is not uncommon for your penis to suddenly warp from vagina hole to ass hole and your partner will be totally unphased by this switch.
For a man that needs sex with multiple anonymous partners, pizza delivery is one of the best career choices.
If your shower is broken, go to the incredibly attractive girl next door's house. She'll be alone, horny, and let you use her shower.
>>109
Actually that is a real thing. My friend tried it on five different dorms, and after talking his way out of being reported on the first four tries, this horrendously disgusting but nevertheless member of the female species accepted his offer.
No matter how many dicks they take, all women's vaginas are eternally tight.