>>3 Your screensaver is producing black balloons! Black Balloons of wasted energy! fear
>>4 farts about 10 times a day, releasing considerable amounts of methane.
>>5 Drowning yourself in your spray-on deodorant is KILLING US ALL.
>>6 Falsely represented the Elitist Superstructure at the UN meeting and opted us all out of Kyoto, then replaced all of our tanasinn based power plants with coal ones!
>>7 had stock in Tanasinn Power, even though it is ridiculously inefficient in comparison to coal.
>>11 sequesters carbon in his attic, but leaves the vent fans running so it all blows back into the air.
>>14 is an irregular burst of cosmic rays that causes heavy cloud formation until the burst ends.
>>17 invented Global Warming, renamed it Global Climate Change to hedge his bets, and then created a company to trade in and profit hugely off carbon credits.
>>18 is furiously trying to discredit the Medieval Warm Period.
>>20 is convinced that humanity is too stupid to be able to adapt to a gradual rise in temperature of about .06C per year.
>>22 wastes precious e-fuel with his pompous and irrelevant HTML formatting.
>>23
Throws away half used children, instead of eating them. thus contributing to global warming
>>23
Throws away half used children, instead of eating them. thus contributing to global warming
>>26 hides his deep crippling guilt for emptying entire cans of Dust-Off by turning them upside down and freezing things.
>>27 insists loudly that his opinion is that of the entire body of climate science, exhaling C02 all the while.
>>28 is still trying to debunk the global warming truth, thereby providing disincentives for people to cut down on CO2 emissions.
YOU PLANETKILLER!!!
>>31 hasn't been reading the thermometer situated much more conveniently inside, thus squandering precious global resources not only on moving his loathsome travel-hungry carcass outside but also obliging me to move my fingers wastefully across the keyboard instead of just pressing PgDn again, directly contributing to global warming and universal entropy and indirectly leading me to release even more bullshit onto our precious planet that usual
>>34 eats too much bamboo, hurting the carbon cycle. Because he is a Panda. HA, HA! SEE HOW I WORKED THAT IN TO THE THEME THERE! I AM SO GENIUS!
I don't really think it will change much, but >>35, this beautiful little planet of ours is our responsibility and I believe that you are taking too much of a happy-go-lucky attitude towards it. I can't blame you, because I care about my politically correct style and you just might have come from a socially defect milieu or have other issues that I would normally make a point of considering when it comes to downplaying accusations against hardcore criminals. However in this case the stakes are high. Please change, sir, our world depends on it.
>>40 Shut down a fossil fueled water purification plant and failed to use a suitable alt fuel, causing widespread disease, but atleast he prevented heatstroke.
>>41 protested against nuclear power because it involved atoms and atoms are scary to the uneducated activist.
yes you are, polluter
When I had mechanical problems, I produced 100% Carbon Monoxide, and 0% Carbon Dioxide. It killed the 4 people inside me, but at least global temps didn't rise.
>>46 bought the stuff needed to repair me, leading to 99% CO2 and 1% CO. CO2 is the pollution now, damnit, CO was just blamed waay back then when people didn't understand enviromentalism.
( ・-・) >>34, it's not that there's a restrictive pattern, it's just that you're by far the worst poster in existence with the worst character in existence. Stop wasting everyone else's time and get rid of your meaningless fucking life.
>>47
repeats the same thing so much that people stop caring about his message, even though it could be helpful in solving global warming.
>>49 Eats at taco bell every day, contributing to waste and hazardous gas buildup.
>>52 can't spell "environmentalist" without M-E-N-T-A-L. OH WAIT
>>54 Drives a 1959 Cadillac Sedan DeVille, and thinks that is okay, because it isn't an SUV.
>>57's mass stupidity exemplary of current climate policy, fails to recognize that reflected light should make the planet cooler.
>>58 Owns a toilet that uses significantly more than 1.6 gallons of water per flush, and due to a lousy design, requires multiple flushes much like the earliest 1.6 Gallon toilets. >>58 doesn't follow the "It it is yellow, let it mellow" rule either.
Have you any idea the amount of coal burned to pump that water from the well, and then burned to treat the waste?!
>>61 Attempted to reverse the trend by mooning the world with his fat white butt. Too bad that his ass sags down, re-reflecting light back to the surface of Earth, and raising the temperture.
By bumping threads from long disused areas of DQN >>62 triggers massive head movements on squeeks' hard disk consuming enough electricity to melt the polar ice caps
>>65 Is a chain smoker, which means he produces quite a bit more deadly gas than non smokers.
>>66 is a Panda, and thusly diverts treehuggers' money and time from the cause of global warming, just so that he can be enticed to get jiggy with it and preserve his pitiful species
>>67 Is a Panda with bleached fur, trying to falsely cause discussion of polar bears.
>>68 rammed legislation marking the polar bear as endangered even though polar bears have a pretty good population growth going.
>>72 Only drinks water if it is bottled water that was manufactured 3000 miles away or more.
>>75 used a comma in a sentence about mittens and turned it into global warming
>>77 sat down at exactly the same time on the opposite side of the Earth, exacerbating the issue.
>>78 built a machine that burns mittens for the sole purpose of carbon emissions.
>>79 has cleared so much of the Amazon rainforests that Brazil looks like the Sahara Desert now.
>>80 has an SUV thats so big he has to use a smaller SUV to drive from the front to the back seats.
>>82 subsists solely on a diet of beans and cabbage, and his personal methane emissions alone have significantly increased the heat trapped by the Earth's atmosphere.
>>83 plans to increase the greenhouse effect by constructing an actual greenhouse around the Earth. Bastard.
>>84 will turn that greenhouse into a single room of an enormous, fog spewing greenfactory.
>>85 Lives is Nome, Alaska, where it is too cold, and he is looking for a trick to make his home more tropical. Meanwhile, he is building equipment to get the oil companies to drill in ANWAR without getting caught.
>>86 is a heat-loving alien shapeshifter who poses as the CEOs of every oil company in existence and wishes to turn Earth into a fetid melting slag pit like his homeworld. And he is supplementing the drilling equipment with evil alien technology.
>>87 Manipulated sanitariums into taking in people who call global warming by human means a fact.
OH DAMN :( The longer our text is the more CO² outputs our computer the more we go on the global warming..you know?
>>89's week brain needed 31 highly carbonated energy drinks to figure it out. Too bad each one of those drinks has a large amount of CO2 that is released when the cap is pulled off. The CO2 that isn't immediately released is belched out later, along with several other hazardous gases.
>>90 Manufactures RAMUNE! That little marble is made out of concentrated greenhouse effect gas, not glass!
>>91 Brews beer, yeast sure can make lots of CO2 as they make alcohol.
>>93 sits in front of the computer all the time, raising humanities energy needs even more.
>>95 is such a great auto mechanic that he can keep cars alive for ages, and then those cars contribute to the CO2 debt.
>>97 Is a decomposing corpse, contributing to increased CO2 and methane.
>>101 Carries out the assassination of oil price speculators and is w.
>>103 Buys antique aerosol cans, and then sprays them, knowing they have CFC propellants.
>>104 runs a very successful manufacturing company which, because of its highly successful history, produces a lot of global warming and must be stopped.
>>105 is exhaling dangerous CO2 this very second, dooming us all.
I hope nobody notices.
>>109 Expects people not to notice his gigantic steel mill and aluminum factory, two metals which require carbon to process even if 100% windmill generated electricity is used.
>>110 totally spaced on calibrating the weather stations across the globe when it was his turn, so the world's temperature readings are all out of whack.
>>111's diet consists solely of bovine products. Bovines fart a lot.
>>113 Pisses off skunks, causing skunks to emit more hazardous chemicals than usual.
>>115 Farts like a hybrid car owner in South Park, but drives a massive bulldozer.
>>120
is jealous of Jews because he causes global warming somehow.
>>122 uses dangerous amounts of cologne to try and impress women. It doesn't work.
Started out as ManBearPig, but evolved into MooseBearPig
>>126 funded the world's largest solar cell array but ran out of money as the project neared completion, leaving a bunch of panels that just collect energy and burn up the atmosphere around them.
>>127 Is a Brazilian porn star. Brazilian porn features a large amount of farting.
>>128 has stored every Brazilian fart porn video on his hard drive so every time he wants to hurt the world, he plays them over and over.
>>129 Has spent so much money on Brazilian fart porn, that it became a very valuable part of the porn biz. Stars from around the world travel on jets just to rip farts in a Brazilian studio.
>>130 has a vast and mysterious machine in his basement laboratory that he uses to alter the energy output of the sun.
>>131 is a three legged radioactive bird from hell with plans for world domination and uncontrolled nuclear reactions.
>>131 Has a similar machine that increases heat radiation from the core and mantle of the Earth.
>>133 needs no such machine as he is a photino bird and can do this by willing it to happen.
>>134 has to catch his breath so often that he alone could destroy atmosphere in 50 or 60 years.
Bill Gates is the cause
>>136 Tells everyone to stop emitting so much CO2 only on Opposite Day and Soviet Russia Joke Day.
>>138 Invented a way to produce more sweet potatoes more cheaply, causing more farting among poorer people.
>>140 is a major lobbyist for the oil lobby and parades around the one scientist that is payed to say that climate change isn't real to the news media.
>>141 Works with the South Park guys. In numerous episodes of South Park, people say that global warming isn't real.
>>142 sells his fancy emission quotas that generate money out of thin air whilst polluting it all the same.
>>144 gets a lot of donated money which he uses solely to organize conferences on climate change around the world and to travel to them.
>>146 Is increasing the birth rates in industrialized economies, leading to more major CO2 producers.
>>147 is alive and exhaling needless amounts of CO² into the atmosphere.
>>148 Gets people to drive electric cars, and says nothing about how much CO2 is created from power plants, and the amount of losses caused by power transmission lines. Add to that the energy needed to produce bi rechargeable batteries, and that might be a big problem.
It doesn't help that >>148 acts like a South Park hybrid car owner.
>>150 heats his patio for four hours every evening, regardless of temperature and whether he intends to sit outside (or indeed is even home) that day
>>151 has bought a Toyota Prius, acts all smug about it, but does everything else whatsoever counter-eco-green.
>>152 is Jeremy Clarkson.
(>>149, I wonder how you feel about nickel that is mined in Canada, then refined, then shipped to Japan or China for a battery assembly, which then might be shipped somewhere else for a battery pack assembly, which in turn travels to a manufacturer of fancy gadgets and then fancy gadgets go all around the world ― and most of these routes are far from being optimal.)
>>153 believes that there's a normal temperature, so a rise in temperature, which i'm pretty sure is of 'negative' cause, is a 'departure from the norm', eye 'global warming'. they're also stupid enough to believe that they can separate 'climate' from 'the earth', so they say that 'climate is ravaging the earth', and forget that 'climate' is a word that was 'made-up' to adapt the facts of our experience of motion within the continually transforming relational spatial plenum to thoughts and those to each other, so they talk about 'climate change', which is 'circular reasoning'. and of course they believe that the 'climate' dynamic can be separated from the 'human dynamic', so they talk about 'human-made global warming'.
i bet they also say stupid shit like 'rising temperatures are causing widespread melting of ice'. a 'rising temperature' is an observation; it has no 'power of causality'.
>>157 talks about semantics of global warming and doesn't want to ride a bicycle and to reuse plastic bags.
>>158 Creates doubt. Having any doubt about how global warming works is absolutely unacceptable even if at one time we were all told that our activities would make the earth continuously get colder.
>>159 has heard that global warming might stop the Gulf Stream and cool Europe down, so he is trying hard to make this happen.
>>160 Enforces CO2 limits, but if you bribe him, he will ignore how much CO2 you produce.
>>162 believes that the present state of the world only depends on the immediate past, without being directly influenced, so to speak, by the recollection of a more distant past.
>>163 believes the human race has absolutely no influence on the climate, and therefore doesn't recycle.
>>164 claims that the Earth is still warming up after a Little Ice Age.
>>166 Is a hardcore Catholic who does anything he can to create ignorance about birth control and sexuality so people end up having more children than they should. More people equals more resources being used.
>>167 set bio-diesel crops on fire in protest over ineffective land usage.
>>168 Invents new medicines that extend lives of people and animals, increasing the amount of time they can produce CO2
>>169 is the guy who wrote "you liberals are retards. humans can't even direct traffic, how do you think we can control the climate? the real reason the world is getting hotter is because hell is getting closer!" on the Internet.
>>170 Invented a wide variety of new ways to produce cheap, clean energy, then got a bunch of patents and refused to liscense any of them out to people. >>170 also aggressively pursues legal action against anyone who tries to produce cheap clean energy for violation of patent. Due to >>170's strong legal team and friends in the government, >>170 always wins these cases, even if their patents are not being violated.
>>172 Built a gigantic lens and mirror to direct more light at earth
>>174 denounced all claims of heat transfer by radiation as a hippie hogwash, and introduced a ban on consumer-grade space heaters as the only way to fight global warming.
>>175 leaves every fridge open and every A/C on its coldest setting to cool down Earth.
>>177 invites everyone who's trying to improve climate to countless debates and forums.
>>178 Shows everyone how global warming was never proven by repeatable experiment, and then telling people how it can't be considered a science.
>>179 Sneaks into geography classrooms and sets fire to the globes.
>>180 organizes heated debates across the world and the Internet, making people exhale more often.
>>182 feeds the cows on his ranch a diet consisting mainly of deviled eggs and refried beans.
>>183 Prevents people from putting speed limits on the Autobahn.
>>184 is responsible for 9 out of 10 glowball warnings in his neighborhood.
>>186 has secretly constructed a machine that allows him to modulate the output of the nearest star, and is currently pressing its big red button in order to make the Sun output "Jabberwocky" in Morse Code.
>>188 Paints over solar cells so they can't generate any power.