Mittens (28)

1 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 13:40

When is it an appropriate time to release the mittens? I kind of need to know for a... project.

2 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 14:22

Silly >>1, you can't simply come and ask about the approriate time for releasing mittens. The color of the mittens is important, and the time of the year, and so on. It's not a trivial operation that you just go off on.

3 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 15:19

I'M RELEASING THEM NOW

4 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 15:20

>>1, you've missed the point. They're EMERGENCY mittens. To be used in an EMERGENCY.

>>3 has the right idea though.

5 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 17:33

I'm "releasing my mittems" right now if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

6 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 17:41

But what qualifies as a Mittens Emergency? What if I release them because I feel like I need a mitten, but cause a shortage of EMs in the process, leaving someone with an even greater Mitten Emergency with nothing but Emergency Lint?

7 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 18:54

>>6

They're doomed, obviously.

8 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 22:14

>>6
Feel free to take some now. I mean look at the background there's plenty to choose from.

9 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 22:18

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) True, we currently have a huge mittens surplus. It's fantastic!

10 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5235 22:28

　　＿＿　　　　　＿＿
　／ ☣ ＼　　 ／ ☣ ＼　 　 The DQN Ministry for the Communication of
〔　（◣◎◢）〕　〔　（◣◎◢）〕　　Mittens-Disemination-Related Chronological
　（つ㍍ づ　 　（つ㍍ づ　　　　Information will communicate to the general
　｜ ｜　|　　　｜ ｜　|　　　populace this information when
　（_＿）＿）　　（_＿）＿）　　 needed. That is all!

11 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5237 02:10

DON'T BELIEVE THE LIES OF THE DQNMCMDRCI!

MITTENS ARE PLENTIFUL

THE RICH BATHE IN THEM

12 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5237 02:38

( ﾟ mﾟ) I sleep on a fresh pile of emergency mittens every night.

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5481 16:34

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　●＿●
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（・ω・）

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6957 18:14

(´・ω・`)

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7155 00:55

Penis so big! So big penis!

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7263 21:03

VORUDEMOTO

17 Name: Minister of the Communication of Mittens-Disemination-Related Chronological Information : 1993-09-7263 23:34

Most emergencies call for such action, murder, robbery, blood in urine, erectile dysfunction. I suspect that next year we will see a 9842472436349674256% rise in need to release emergency mittens.

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7264 11:13

I have released the emergency mittens twice this year.

The first occasion was a false alarm.

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7264 17:37

I released them a moment ago when a big dog walked through my yard.

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7264 19:21

Hello, my name is ( ˃ ヮ˂) and it has been two days since I released the emergency mittens.

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7265 11:48

My doctor once prescribed a daily dose of emergency mittens for my arthritis. After wearing them for three months I'm overjoyed to say my hands are more comfortable than they've ever been!

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7266 18:52

Speaking of mittens, the "ask mittens" thread in /ASCII/ has gone without mittens for a year now

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7457 16:23

http://www.starbrightbooks.org/details.php?id=272

24 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7714 20:27

MITTENS PROTOCOL UPDATE

  1. Put on clean undressing mittens.
  2. Use the clean undressing mittens to remove the face shield.
  3. Take off the undressing mittens. Dispose of them in medical waste (with the face shield).
  4. Put on new, clean undressing mittens.
  5. Use them to take off the face mask.
  6. Once again, take the mittens off, and dispose of them with the other medical waste (mittens, face shield, face mask).
  7. Put on a new, clean undressing mittens.
  8. Use these to take off the body garment.
  9. Once again, take off the undressing mittens and dispose of them with the other medical waste (now multiple courses of mittens, mask, shield, garment).
  10. Put on one new clean undressing mitten.
  11. Use that mitten to remove the glove on the opposite hand.
  12. Put on one new clean undressing mitten.
  13. Use that to remove the other hand's undressing mitten and glove.
  14. Dispose of the mittens and gloves in medical waste with all the other items.

25 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7715 03:53

>>24
All that just to have a wank?

26 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7715 13:00

>>25
Yes, otherwise you're commiting a crime for not following the protocol

27 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7717 14:00

>>25
What do I do with the leftover mitten?? Can I save it for later?

28 Name: >>27 : 1993-09-7717 14:03

>>24 (or >>25 if you really feel like answering)

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