~ITALDICKS~rays of light illuminate the dust drifting hazily through the courtroom window, as the citizenry file in and take seats

BAILIFF: THERE ARE NO WINDOWS IN THIS COURTROOM
BAILIFF: SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY

OUTSPOKEN GENT: SUNDAAY? more like CUNTFLAPS!

BAILIFF: CUNTFLAPS, CUNTFLAPS, CUNTFLAPS
BAILIFF: I WILL BE HOLDING A CONTEST DURING THE PROCEEDINGS, A COLORING CONTEST, IF YOU DRAW A PICTURE GIVE IT TO ME AND ILL HANG IT UP
BAILIFF: ALL RISE

JUDICIARY GENT: ALL DECANT YOURSELF INTO THE SEATS

~Jury decants with mediocre skill, arranges themselves questonably~

LAWMAN: ILL START THIS PARTY
LAWMAN: WITNESSE, COME TO THE STAND

WITNESSE: AYE
~witness rises like a cloud of hungry salmon, fails at reaching stand, stands to reach, reaches seat, seats witness~

LAWMAN: YOU LOOK VERY SMOOTH TODAY

WITNESSE: AYE?

LAWMAN: YOUR SKIN. IT SEEMS VERY SOFT

WITNESSE: AYE

LAWMAN: I WOULD LIKE TO TOUCH IT

PROSECUTORE: OBJECT-T-TION!!

JUDICIARY GENT: OVERTURNED! DENIED! LAWMAN, AGREED! I WOULD LIKE TO TOUCH HER FACE!

LAWMAN: AYE

JUDICIARY GENT: RECESS, FIFTEEN MINUTES, I WILL TOUCH HER FACE WILL I NOT

BAILIFF: AYE, ALL RISE
BAILIFF: EVACUATE

JUDICIARY GENT: except for YOU
~points a swath, with swathing arm~

~LAWMAN, WITNESSE REMAIN~
~JUDICIARY GENT ENGAGES IN FACE TOUCHING, FOR A TOTAL OF 25 MINUTES~

~everyone has already returned, all are seated, one remains standing with a VANILLA FOLDER~

JUDICIARY GENT: MY WORK HERE IS DONE
JUDICIARY GENT: WHY I SEE YOU ARE ALL BACK, DID YOU ENJOY YOURSELFS?

~Jury stares back, blanketenly~

JUDICIARY GENT: DID YOU PERCHANCE ChANCE A TOUCHING OF ANY SOFT, SMOOTH FACES?

JURORMAN: I DID SO, OF THERE FELLOW JURESS

JUDICIARY GENT: HA HA! SUCH A THING, IT CONSTITUTES SEXUAL HARASSMENT

JURORMAN: YEAH, IF WE WEREN'T FUCKING JESII

JURESS & WITNESSE, IN UNISON: CERTAINLY, WE FEEL VIOLATED

LAWMAN: HA HA!

JUDICIARY GENT: TRULY, NOW ON WITH THE PROCEEDINGS
~points to the one standing juror~

JUDICIARY GENT: WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS?!?

ONE: AH, DURING THE RECESS I WAS SPURNED BY MY PEERS, AND TOOK THE FREE TIME TO PROCREATE THIS DRAWING OF NARUTO FOR YOUR HONOR

JUDICIARY GENT: BAILIFF, GO FORTH AND TAKE IT

~bailiff SSTTRRIIDDES and recieves the paper~

BAILIFF: EXCELLENT, I WILL HANG THIS IN THE CHAMBERS
BAILIFF: WEABOO FAGGOT

JUDICIARY GENT: SEE ME AFTER THIS SESSION, SEMICOLON, I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR CHEEKS

ONE: AYE
~one is seated~

JUDICIARY GENT: NOW MIGHT WE GO ON?

~auditor, rises~

AUDITOR: SIR, IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT I HAVE FORGOTTEN TO SHAVE TODAY
AUDITOR: TRULY, I FEEL AS IF MY APPEARANCE IS FAR FROM IMMACULATE

JUDICIARY GENT: SUCH A THING AS THAT, IS TRULY UNFORTUNATE

AUDITOR: I AM NOT FIT TO STAND BEFORE THIS COURT

~auditor sits down, scoots wheeled chair out of the courtroom with much bustle~

BAILIFF: YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO LEAVE

JUDICIARY GENT: EH, TOO EARLY FOR LUNCH, IS IT?

~Jurors nod~
~bailiff looks into distance~

JUDICIARY GENT: RECESS! FOR LUNCH! SEE YOU IN ONE HOUR.

~fin~

applause