>┴<　　　⊂⊃
　（ ﾟ∀ﾟ.）　　　　　 　 　 　　⊂⊃
　　 >┬<
　　　　　　　　　　　　／⌒ヽ
　　　　　　　　　　　/（●）（●） 　　excuse me may i pass through here
　　　　　　　　　　　|　ﾄｪｪｪｲ/
　　　　　　　　　　　| /｀ﾆﾆ´
　　　　　　　　　　 //　| |
　　　　　　　　　　Ｕ　 .Ｕ
;;⌒::.;;.⌒⌒/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣/ ￣/::. :; ;⌒⌒:.:⌒:;⌒;;⌒
..　　,::.;　　/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣/ 　 /..,　,;　.:　　　,,｡,.（◯）　　 ::
　 :　:::.,　/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣/ 　 /,,;　　（◯）　　:::　ヽ|〃　　;;:
.　　,:.;　/ 　 /|￣￣￣￣￣/ 　 /..,　,;　:ヽ|〃　　,,｡,　　　 ::;;,

Oh shit, it turns out he was bite-sized all along! My perspective of size has been completely corrupt!

Digital city that never sleeps
a cold landscape where no one hears you weep
out of the shadows in the corner of your mind
an errant signal passed and then you'll be flatlined
Dollar signs fill up your eyes
oblivious to your own demise
Another night, another contract
another anonymous homocide
It's just a job, its just a cleanup
no one alive on the other side
Wheeler dealer, life on the line
You'll never see me creeping up from behind
A lethal impulse from my mind to yours
And in the morning I won't look at my own face
just a blip to delete, but it brings me disgrace
How did I allow myself to crawl into this hole
each job that I complete takes a little bit more of my soul
Consciousness blending with the perpetual machine
such a glorious and terrible thing my eyes have seen
The call of money is too strong to fight
I'll feed my hunger flatlining you tonight
This hunger for money you know all too well
How else to explain the things you've come to buy and sell
Enter this city on business, but you'll never leave
And when you're gone will there be anyone left to grieve
You earned your flatline many years ago
Exactly what you've done I'll never know
It doesn't matter to me because the price was right
And now that I've found you, you won't live through this night

.

Oh, would you look at this, it appears that I'm writing a stream of consciousness post in an old thread again. Not sure why; I just feel sort of shitty in a way that's difficult to put into words. So, evidently, I decided the best solution is to try to put it into words? Sounds pretty backwards when you put it like that.

Anyway, yes, so, as I say, I haven't been feeling too great. Granted, I do have seasonal affective disorder, and it is technically still winter, but the days are getting noticeably longer and I have been getting a fair bit of sunlight, so that shouldn't be it. What else? I've an incredible number of ongoing projects and essays, some of which I've been putting off or just doing slowly when I have time for them for months now. Although, saying that, I probably do have time for it, but that time I have set aside for my own interests.

Is that sensible? Is my holding, maybe, a few hours per day for computer games and silly things really a good idea? I can't shake the feeling that without this I'd go crazy, and yet the things that I'm not doing over these times are building up to the point where worrying about them permeates almost my entire waking life. However you look at it, that's not healthy.

So, what can I do? The most obvious course of action is to reduce the amount of time I spend on silly things and increase the amount of time I spend on serious things. I've tried this many times before, and it often leads to me feeling like shit and hence getting work done extremely slowly, and often not to a very high quality. Yet, what else can I do? I suppose I could cut down on the amount of time I spend sleeping, which is really rather a lot. Ten hours per night, often. One hour less per night would give me an extra seven hours per week to spend on anything at all, which is not to be sniffed at.

Anyone still reading this? I'm sorry; this turned out to be a lot less interesting than even I was expecting. Nonetheless, I suppose it was useful.

Thank you, and good night.