>>5 has an overriding compulsion to expose reformed ex-cons to Beethoven's 9th at extreme volumes upon discovering that they suffer grand mal seizures whenever exposed to classical music.
>>6 must make sure that the peas and rice are separated at all costs.
>>7 firmly believes that all pictures can be "looked behind", so to speak, dedicating unruly amounts of time to the practice and getting himself into trouble here and there when, face-to-face with a person, he impulsively walks around to peer at their backsides.
Has Hallucinatory Pandarian Disease
>>12 will suffer an aneurysm if he ever attempts to use greater-than signs.
>>14 Can only get an erection while shouting "Margret Thatcher naked on a cold day!"
>>18 can only be aroused by hairless cats and corrupt Italian politicians
http://cureplus.org/i/111113/40.html
it is funney!
>>21 is inappropriately amused by dry medical texts about carbon monoxide poisoning.
>23 contracted Aiken's Murraine in the Upper Baboonasshole
>>26 is EDUCATED STUPID and can't comprehend 4 CORNER TIME CUBE.
>>27 has been educated quite masterfully yet somehow remains unable to comprehend the third dimension.
When >>28 smells cat urine, he sees a viking woman with huge boobs.
>>32 is an espeon.
>>33 is the subject of every dokyun's love, but doesn't know it.
>>34 would be a lot more liked if he'd just shut up every once in a while.
>>37 feels orgasmic pleasure every time he posts twice or more in a row on an anonymous forum.
>>38 can't sleep at night if he hasn't defragmented his disk drive.
>>39 gets a migraine headache when he hears poetry read aloud in an American accent.
>>41 possesses a functional set of both feline and bovine genitalia.
>>43 has a 1D complex and has to excuse himself after seeing timelines and numberlines.
>>44 needs to be in absolute darkness at all times or his heart will stop beating.
>>52 suffers from occasional cascade shutdowns of internal organs.
>>58's kidneys cease to function if he does not post in at least one variations-on-a-theme DQN thread per day.
>>59 has to eat poisonous mushrooms to keep his respiration stable.
>>62 is allergic to almost every human food product, and subsists on deionized water and Meow Mix.
>>63 unwaveringly believes himself to be Carl Sagan, and has made it his ambition to construct a pair of wings which will fly him to Jupiter.
>>64 has a condition where he makes up diseases which aren't apocryphal in a thread where you're supposed to create apocryphal diseases.
>>67 is only capable of reading the previous post in any given thread, which is why he failed to criticize >>66 for glazing over >>65's half-witted post. By >>65's reckoning, he himself also fails to create an apocryphal disease, as both >>64 and >>65 describe behaviorisms incompatible within a given context. So, he may as well be criticizing himself. But I don't think his ego would allow that. Therefore if he wishes to at least save face he must accept that >>64's given condition was sufficiently apocryphal. Also, >>65 is, in general, quite fucking retarded.
>>68 has a terminal case of not-learning-on-others-mistakes. He will probably die in a blast of gasoline vapours in his mid-30s.
Despite much evidence to the contrary, for instance the fact he can post legibly on an internet textboard, >>70 is in fact a medium sized wooden spatula.
Has a form of arthritis that makes it difficult to make rude gestures
>>73 emits the smell of freshly slaughtered capybara in his sleep, unless he makes sure to wear an overripe durian on his crotch.
Whenever >>75 tries to draw Mega Man fanart, he always ends up drawing an arthritic old man with a gun in his hand.
>>77 is genetically predisposed to type his own post number instead of that of the previous poster whenever he tries to participate in 'previous poster' threads.
He also dreams of his own death.
>>79 has prophetic dreams of trivial events. Last night, he had an accurate dream about a textbook page he won't get around to reading until next week.
>>80 replies to himself in these kinds of threads, but doesn't see it as cheating due to his funky conscience.
>>83 temporarily ceases to exist when stared at for more than twenty seconds.
>>89's textboard addiction has made him unable to comprehend the letter H.
>>90 begins having convulsions when he hears rumors of the Grim Reaper.
>>91 wants to live beneath the ocean in a glass house, but has digestive problems when below sea level.
>>93 has to wear sunglasses at all times to prevent his X-ray vision from acting up. He's seen terrible things with his eyes.
>>94's right eye twitches when his CAPTCHAs are English words.
>>96 fears that he is being watch when noticing that many of these symptoms match his own.
>>101 is unable to differentiate between superior and inferior post numbers.
>>102 Is unable to understand that Gatchaman is an anime, not a Megaman robot master
>>103 habitually spells Spider-Man as "Spiderman" and Superman as "Super Man".
>>106
is compelled to post captchas, no matter how spitheable they may be.
>>107 isn't aware that the disease, known to experts in the field as skustetion is quite contagious.
>>108 cannot become sexually aroused unless his partner falls on a pillow, making a pomf =3 sound.
>>110 can't get off to anything without an anime character in it
>>112 cannot post in threads unless they are about the previous poster.
>>113 instantly throws up at the sight of depth of field effects or gamma-incorrect antialiasing.
>>114 is unable to hear his own voice or see himself in mirrors.
>>115 Is unable to smell himself, even if he hasn't bathed in weeks, or is covered with mud.
>>121 Is Gal Sone, who doesn't feel full unless her belly looks like it is 9 months pregnant.
>>122 is unable to eat anything without provoking a violent allergic reaction, unless red chalk has been coarsely grated over it.
>>123 was born with twenty kidneys, but each of them is only one tenth the size of a normal one.
Four out of five posts made by >>125 mysteriously end up in the shiptoasting thread instead of the threads he intended them to.
>implying that's a "medical condition" and not a genetic enhancement
>excuse me while OH GOD IT JUST GRABBED A PIPING HOT BAKED POTATO AND STUFFED IT UP MY ASS ;_;
>>129 sees all red as green, all green as blue, and all blue as red. But since this is something he was born with, he never figured out that this is something special, and so his mental definitions of "red", "green" and "blue" simply correspond to light of different wavelengths.
>>130 has recurring fantasies about going back in time and becoming his younger self, retaining all his current knowledge, thinking about what he would do differently with what he now knows.
>>131 secretes radioiodine from his sweat glands and tear ducts.
>>137 is physiologically incapable of coming up with a truly apocryphal medical condition. An allergy to oneself is merely a specific rare type of autoimmune response.
>>140 is unable to sense the touch of a surgical implement, but his senses are otherwise unimpaired.
>>146's skeleton occasionally decides to forcibly exit his body and walk around scaring small children.
>>147 Is unable to vote for politicians that aren't complete crap.
>>154 was born with a terminal disease that will kill him in, oh, 80 years or so.
>>155 was born with a book holder growing out of his sternum.
>>156 cannot by any means be made to believe that water, ice and snow are all the same substance.
>>157 experiences shooting pains if he steps on the cracks in the pavement.
>>160's teats secrete eggnog whenever they are prodded with candy canes.
The smell of cinnamon causes an immediate and unavoidable fight-or-flight response in >>162.
>>164 has vivid multisensory hallucinations wherein everything he sees is made of cookie dough.
Whenever a train passes, >>169 gets an erection which lasts until the next time a train passes
>>172 legs start kicking the air whenever he's asked something personal.
>>173 has a second vagina on her forehead that shoots fire every time congress accomplishes something.