Once upon a time there was a jolly old rabbit, and his name was Bing Tom. Now Bing Tom was a wealthy land owner who owned 576 cattle, 322 donkeys, and 454 female donkeys, and 988 other rabbits rented his land for farming and paid homage to him with one seventh of their crops. One day, Bing Tom was walking the entirety of his land, and greeting heartily all his sharecroppers, when he found a hole in the sky. Bing Tom's land was at the edge of the world, bordering on where the horizon meets the ground on one side, so the sky is unusually close there. Bing Tom decided he would inspect the hole with caution. In order to do this, he began to approach the rabbits who sharecropped in the front quarter of his land with an offer, saying: "I have found a hole in the sky, and I would like to explore what is beyond it. If you become my companion, and explore it with me, I will until the last day of the last month of this year exempt you from the tribute you must pay to me, and until the next year is born anew, your neighbors will pay a tribute to you, even as they pay tribute to me". But the rabbits of the front quarter refused, saying things like "there are monsters past the sky" or "how long will the expedition be? My wife and children may worry" or "surely it was just a black cloud", but none of the rabbits of the front quarter wanted to go. There was one old rabbit named Van Bill who was interested at first, but changed his mind when he heard clearly the specifics of the undertaking.
(to be continued)
So Bing Tom made his way to the left quarter, where before the rabbits who farmed his land there he proclaimed this proposal: "I have chanced upon a rending in the horizon. The one of you who with me enters it, and is an ally to me as I explore what lies beyond, before the first day of the year to come I shall not decrease his wealth by one seventh, though it my right, and his neighbors shall increase his wealth by one seventh, according to my word". But this did not seem right in the eyes of the rabbits who farmed the land in the left quarter of Bing Tom's land.
Though he had become a bit discouraged in his heart, Bing Tom got up and made for the right quarter of his land, where cheifly the rabbits who looked after his 576 cattle, 322 donkeys, and 454 female donkeys dwelt. And he gathered together the rabbits who looked after his 576 cattle, 322 donkeys, and 454 female donkeys, together with the few sharecroppers who dwelt among them, and in the public square of their quarter he daclared this: "As I was walking the entirety of my land, as I do every Friday, and exchanging friendly greetings with all the rabbits who dwell in my land and who farm on my soil and who pay one seventh of their gains to me as homage each month, as you know that I do on the sixth day of the week, I walked facefirst into an extraordinary thing. Well, not really into it, or I would've gone through it, but rather I sort of walked at it sideways without realizing and bumped with my face the thing's side. And the reason I would've gone through it if I had walked into it was because it was a hole. And the reason I say 'walk through it' and not 'jump down it' was because it wasn't the kind of hole you're thinking of - it was a hole in the sky. Whaddaya mean, that sounds ridiculous? Should not those of circumstances as ours be accustomed to the truth being ridiculous? Anyway you're probably wondering where I'm going with this.
"Well, you see, I want to make a deal with you. Why you? I dunno. Maybe I just like you. Maybe I think that because y'all are so trustworthy with my animals, you'll be trustworthy with this too. Maybe I've already said all this to the rabbits in the front and left quarters, and every single one refused, and I haven't gotten to the back quarter yet. But lets not beat around the bush. The offer is this: I'm gonna go through this hole in the sky that I bumped into sideways, and I'm gonna explore the place one the other side. Wanna come with me? If the thrill of adventure alone doesn't tickle your whiskers, let me sweeten the deal with some good, old-fashioned monetary incentive. If you do this with me (and aren't a complete unhelpful burden) I won't tax you anything. What's more, I'll make your neighbors pay taxes to you, just like they pay taxes to me. Now, this would only be in effect for the current year, for a variety of reasons, but still. Just think about it. Pretty sweet deal, don't you think?"
When the rabbits who dwelt in the right quarter of Bing Tom's land, and tended to his 576 cattle, 322 donkeys, and 454 female donkeys, heard this, they wondered about what he was saying. But many of them said "We have no desire to partake in this. We will be content to tend to the livestock which has been entrusted to us, as our fathers did before us, as our fathers' fathers did before them, and to enjoy the comforts of familiar things, as our ancestors have seen as wise to do since time immemorial. Yet one young rabbit approached Bing Tom, saying that he would gladly accompany his lord on any endeavor, even one so fanciful-seeming as exploring what lay beyond a hole in the sky. His name was Ping Bob.
interesting, the rabbits seem to follow the oriental personal name order