Python 2: DUDE MOVE ON LMAO
Python 3: DUDE INDENTATION LMAO
Ruby: DUDE DEAD LANGUAGE LMAO
Perl5: DUDE HARD TO READ LMAO
Perl6: DUDE NO ONE USES IT LMAO
C: DUDE PROCEDURAL PROGRAMMING LMAO
C++: DUDE POINTERS LMAO
RPG Maker, Game Maker, Unity, Dreamweaver: DUDE YOU'RE NOT A REAL DEVELOPER LMAO
Markdown: DUDE THIS ISN'T PROGRAMMING LMAO
R: DUDE MACHINE LEARNING LMAO
Adobe Flash/ActionScript: DUDE USE-AFTER-FREE 0-DAYS DELIVERING RANSOMWARE PAYLOADS LMAO
Java: DUDE CLASSES LMAO
Kotlin: DUDE GOOGLE LMAO
Objective-C: DUDE APPLE ABANDONED YOU LMAO
Swift: DUDE OPTIONALS LMAO, DUDE ARGUMENT LABELS LMAO
Haskell: DUDE MONADS LMAO
HTML5: DUDE MOBILE LMAO
Javascript: DUDE FRAMEWORKS LMAO
SQL: SELECT * FROM dude_table WHERE LMAO='true';
NoSQL: DUDE JSON LMAO
LaTeX: \begin{LMAO} DUDE YOU NEED A COMPILER FOR WORD DOCUMENTS \end{LMAO}
Bootstrap: DUDE COOKIE CUTTER RESPONSIVE DESIGN SITES THAT ALL LOOK THE SAME LMAO
CSS3: DUDE PREPROCESSORS LMAO
Node: DUDE PACKAGES LMAO
Express: DUDE ROUTERS LMAO
Angular: DUDE SINGLE PAGE LMAO
PugJS: DUDE TEMPLATES LMAO
Lisp: DUDE PARENTHESES LMAO
Clojure: DUDE PARENTHESES & JAVA LMAO
Rust: DUDE MEMORY SAFETY LMAO
Bash: DUDE PIPES LMAO
zsh: DUDE PLUGINS LMAO
fish: DUDE AUTOCOMPLETE LMAO
PowerShell: DUDE MIMIKATZ LMAO
Assembly: DUDE REGISTERS LMAO
COBOL or Fortran: DUDE OLD PEOPLE MAINTAINING LEGACY CODE LMAO
PHP: shell_exec(echo "DUDE PLEASE HACK ME LMAO");
git: git commit -m "DUDE BRANCHES LMAO"
UML: DUDE ACCESS MODIFIERS LMAO
Tech startups: DUDE FOOSBALL TABLES AND OPEN FLOOR PLANS LMAO