I am the manager of the Tokyo Zoo.
I am very sorry about >>1.
This afternoon we were cleaning the cages, and the monkey house was left unguarded.
Apparently the biggest, blackest gorilla broke free from his cage and escaped from the zoo.
We searched all over Akihabara for him.
Eventually we heard of a store that had been attacked.
Inside, we found >>1.
He was posting many threads to 4-CH and masturbating to comic books.
>>1 has now been returned to his proper place in the monkey house.
We have repaid the store for the stolen computer equipment and dirtied comic books.
Again, I apologize for the inconvenience.