how did it taste op

Baby, it's not the taste, but the shade that drives me to bits

I'm just looking for new fluids,
To catch my falling shits

The blue light makes it hard to see your veins, I installed it to try and deter junkies shooting up in my bathroom. Seems to be working so far

>>1905
why would there be junkies in your private bathroom?

>>1907 It's just a precaution

>>1907
All the crackhead hang out here

Much better than drinking them.

>>1911 The milk was off, the fanta and jucee dribbles were in the sun too long, I ate the beetroot

>>1911
Ronaldo made this post

op I think you might be the junkie

Check out this fancy coffee I shat on

>>2022 Someone on /dqn/ was like “you should put that stale milk down the toilet and shit on it lol” - I thought it was a joke at first, but it turned out to be a great idea. I guess you're sorta right, I've become not a heroin junkie but a pooping on different liquids junkie

Look how lumpy it is! *plop* *plop* *plop*

Please stop it.

Taste da rainbow.

please continue it

HAAAA I LOVE THAT BIG DIRTY STINKIN BASS!!

Refreshing

This one was great to poop on, absolutely bonza mate

>>2424
Why is there blood on your toilet?

>>2427 I think my girlfriend has weird bugs in her bed because I felt something bite or sting me, then when I got home there was a swollen sore on the side of my hip. I just lightly touched it with my scalpel and blood flooded out while I was doing a poo-poo, and I thought it looked cool so I left it there a while

This thread is giving me what the fuck brainloops

>>2499 It gets milk the most because I can never finish a whole bottle, but the smaller bottle is never quite enough. When it splashes on my bum I get a funny feeling knowing that it came out of a cow's tit not too long ago, and now it's splashing my bum. That Buffalo Trace in >>2428 was fun, as was the big mix in >>2425

Am I doing it right OP?

>>2590 That's insane Capey, you're going to block your pipes!

Try flavouring your toilet with l0li pee.

>>2596 Been there, done that, soaked my T-shirt

I wanted to take a picture of my toilet too but I accidentally pooped in it and ruined the shot.

>>2598 Thanks, I've also refrained from sharing the "after" pics!

STOP ✋

Do not stop. Continue indefinitely.

Off that sizzurp (I needed a glass bottle)

Welcome back, Toilet King.

>>2822 Happy new year to you!

I shat on this on xmas eve

>>2878
why would you do that? -_-

>>2878

we live in a society

I know I said I wouldn't post “after” pics but I thought this was pretty awesome. Old milk and old orange juice + my bum chocolate

For some reason this tasted horrible, weird and chewy, so I shat on it 😼

When is ssz gonna ban this madman?

What have I done to deserve a ban? If you don't like what i have to offer, you don't need to look at it, or you can post what you'd rather be seeing. Post in one of my other excellent threads if you don't like this one :)

3000GET

>>3000
Toilet King Win

WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>>1907
He is the owner of a fine establishment and cleans his bathrooms after crack milfs abort their babys in the toilet hole

Soup 'n' fancy milk

This board is unvisitable. Every time you come here it's just more toilet gifs and wrestling posts.

>>3035 That's two threads you silly twat, post about whatever you want, bump the threads you do like, stop being such a fucking baby

>>3035 Two threads you don't like make the site “unvisitable” that's incredible, what are you actually looking for? You should be grateful for fresh toilet gifs

I think the toilet gifs are funny, no one's forcing you to enjoy every thread

Cooked me shrimp 😲😅

IMO the entire board is shit EXCEPT the toilet and wrestling threads!

mvq the Toilet King posts new original content

>>3038
Stop defending those shit threads, they're the only active ones on the board, any other thread disappears immediately

>>3050 The threads are still there, go bump a thread you like! Or start a thread on a topic that interests you! I'm happy to talk about anything interesting :)

To say two threads make the site unvisitable is crazy talk, I mean c'mon dude, have you ever seen a guy melt ice in a toilet before? And what's wrong with the wrestling thread? I've seen a bunch of crazy things there I probably wouldn't have otherwise came across before

Why don't you just PISS in it? >:3

>>3054 I piss and shit on everything I've showed you :)

(pro tip for any detractors)

WTF I've been tricked!

Not as fun as I thought it would be

>>3060
oh no no no no No No No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOO NOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>3057
That demon is gonna be pissed when he finds out where you drew the sigil.

Looks pretty nice!

This is just water, but I made a plaster cast of my cock and let it sit in boiling water until the water went cold, so it has a kind of penis energy. I admit I couldn't really feel a difference when I shat on it in the toilet.

Meaty... meatish...

Triple trouble

Saw this and thought of you

OP, are you over 18? I think it is time we see your cock. seriously my mouth had been watering for TOO LONG i'm STARTING to DROWN.
Please >>1700-san, show us your pen0r

>>3266
cum in the toilet

vc:date
GOD IS TELLING ME

>>3266
What if he was 16? Would you wait two more years, Mr. Highandmighty? If you'd just shut your damn gator, we could be seeing some toilet guy COCK right now you fuckin ambidextrous clod. I bet you shower without clothes ya binky.

>>3266 What's in it for me?

These fast food drinks made from syrup aren't as nice as a proper can or a bottle

a lot of food products use corn syrup.
even the bottle soda.
very hard to find great soda with cane sugar.

>>3290 So true bestie, I very rarely buy fizzy drinks anymore. But by syrup I meant how fast food restaurants use concentrated versions of Coke, Sprite etc. and it's mixed in the restaurant by the drinks machine, they often get the mix wrong and it doesn't taste the same as when you buy a can or bottle of the same drink from a shop

Hello, I just wanted to thank everyone for clicking on my gifs over the past year, I used the money I got from the paid product placements to get this blingin' new seat! Cheers /img/!

>>3325
show us your penis :)

>>3326
pour sticky soda on the head of your erect penis

vc: nope
I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I'LL MAKE YOU DO IT! GOD WON'T STOP ME

Ah ah ah you didn't say the magic word

This one backfired LOL

Is it possible, can you think of any other situation, where a human has defecated on crushed up Smarties? I don't think it's too far-fetched

Blecchhh...

A vegan friend came round the other day so I got some non-cow juice especially, but I didn't really like it myself and it went off in the fridge, so I thought I'd try shitting on it. It was okay! I'll stick with the cow juice, but it's fun winding up my dairy farmer friends talking about how everyone's turning to milk alternatives!

What's the point of pouring things into the toilet? I don't get it

>>3500 He shits on them after taking the photos, apparently it feels different than plain ol' toilet water...

OP I made you some fanart!!

>>3501
I wish I could be a toilet for a day. I had two dreams last night, both about girls needing to take a dump in my bathroom and hearing the explosions from outside the door, rushing to record the sounds. One of those girls was my cousin that I haven't talked to in years.

>>3500 I didn't want to just pour the fluids down the kitchen sink, and a cheeky dokyun suggested I shit on it, and it turned out to have a lovely sensation!

>>3501 Hehe very funny, I love it, you've got my bracelets and everything :3

>>3509 That's crazy dude, sounds like you're down with OPP (other people's poop)

>>3510
>sounds like you're down with OPP
I had another dream earlier this morning, but I can't remember it. All day I've been thinking about a hypothetical situation of having a girl sitting on the pot, with me on my knees looking up at her. When she pushes out her log, I'd stick my soft hands betwixt her cheeks, and take all the waste smear and huff it. Then she'd hold my hands, and rub the brownspread in my hair.

>>3511 Make the dream real... I had a girlfriend once who was into weird toilet stuff. I loved her so much that I would do anything for her...

>>3512
>Make the dream real...
I wish. I don't have the social skills required to obtain a girlfriend by regular means (and personally, I'd prefer friends with benefits over a girlfriend)
I'd never use a dating app since I'd most definitely get judged. I could only hook up with a girl that has similar interests to me, so my best shot is meeting a drunk girl at a music show or an underground comic convention.
>I had a girlfriend once who was into weird toilet stuff. I loved her so much that I would do anything for her...
I knew you were lucky all along, toilet guy. Good God you were so lucky, you didn't even realize it. A girl INTO it. Man... imagine that.

>>3514 You're right, I was very lucky. That's how I met her too, we were drunk at a music festival and she fell from a cloud right into my lap, so it could happen to you too! When she moved in with me, she showed my scat porn for the first time, gave me a blumpkin, asked me to piss between her legs while she was pissing, pissed on me in the shower, and asked me to piss on her but I couldn't do it no matter how hard I tried, she was such a sweet crazy little angel devil. We were young and I took her love for granted, and I'm sure I will be thinking of her on my deathbed. She didn't get ME into toilet stuff btw, I still think it's gross, but there was nothing gross about her

They say sweetcorn comes out just the same as it goes in... here I am cutting out The Middleman

(The Middleman is what I call my butthole)

I left my wine out in the sun too long

>>3665 now SMASH the bottle

>>3712 I put it in the bin

Let's get down to business
vc: BIEN “oui oui” ;) ;) XD

how does a man so strange and awe inspiring even get a GF
maybe i should start pouring stuff down my toilet

>>3871 It's what's in your heart that matters, and not what's in your toilet. Just try to put yourself in situations you think you might meet your true love, and maybe you'll get lucky

>>2424
>>2428
Found a picture of TOILET KING

>>4028 Mmmm bloody!

Only piss, shit and cum go into my toilet... Maybe I threw up into it once or twice... This thread makes me feel like the relationship between me and my toilet isn't adequate...

>>4033 Try something new

I wish you all a very merry christmas, I hope Santa is good to you all. All the best for the year to come x