I think my father cheated my mother. (16)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-01 13:43 ID:/VpT7X9T

Well, I´m not sure but I think he had sex with somebody else and my mother caught them.
I´m 23 now, they´re in their 50´s. I work and live alone 500 km away from my hometown, where they live. Just arrived now from my town where I spent holidays. I knew they were experiencing dificulties but never could imagine this. I can´t believe it, I´m not sure about it, but what else it could be? Here are the facts.
Yesterday morning my father was supposed to go to the doctor. I was alone in home and my mother went to my grandparents house to wake them up (they are ill) and give them breakfast. My father was supposed to come earlier, alone, but both my parents came together. I was in the bathroom but noticed something strange with them and hardly could hear my mother say something like: filthy.
We had lunch and they were not talking to each other, then my father went to work. My mother didn´t talk to me about what happened(something she usually does, but she started asking me about divorce and and people cheating, but never about them). She also told me: Your father doesn´t need me. She seemed strange during the afternoon, but I though she was just sad because she fell from a ladder two days ago in the garage.
My father came from work and they didn´t talk each other while having dinner. We went to sleep.
Both rooms are one next to the other so I tried to listen from my bed to find out what was going on. I could hardly hear them. But my mother was crying and I thing but am not sure something like: Why did you did it? and some insults to my father. Then my mother went to the kitchen and kept crying there. My father went after her, but I got out from bed and told my father to leave us alone. My mother was desperately crying, I helped her but she told me it was just she was scared about falling from the ladder the previous day. Today morning , my father was scheduled to a doctor and was taking the bus. We would catch him later and go to the airport so I would finish my holidays. When he left, she told him: Maybe you have someneone to take you to the doctor and don´t need the bus.
We later went to the airport and they were not talking to each other, but they are completely normal with me, and when I´m with my mother alone she is completely normal, doesn´t look like been cheated, just angry.
I am scheduled to talk on the phone with them tonight, in seven hours.
I don´t know what to do. Maybe it´s just my imagination but I´m afraid not. I´m not sure at all. Shoul I call muy mother when she is alone and ask about it? Maybe it´s better to leave them sort it out. Maybe it was nothing. Oh my God, I´m so confused and so scared.

2 Name: Densha : 2007-02-01 13:51 ID:GEgeKeBF

No offence, but you're 23...surely you're emotionally mature to know how to approach your parents about it.

"Mum, what's wrong?" Is usually a good place to start. If she tries to cover it from you, just tell her you're old enough to know what's going on.

You have to keep in mind that marital problems are getting more common nowadays. Alot of people (mostly younger than you) deal with it.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-01 14:06 ID:/VpT7X9T

Yes, I can approach her, but I´m afraid to do so. I think she wants to hide it, don´t want to force her. I see no exit to this. Divorce is not an option, my mother has no money, has nothing but a small subside. She can´t get old alone (well she has me, but I am poor, we depend on my father). They need each other. I think they should be together, maybe with an open relationship, but together. Problem is will she be able to deal with it?
Maybe she will stick with him if she thinks that I do not know it, just to not tell it, but if I know , she may ask for a divorve.

4 Post deleted by moderator.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-01 20:53 ID:RoGSvL3p

Just talked to my parents by phone. They seem completely normal, not ungry now. But there´s something weird, they were supposed to go shopping after leaving me at the airport. My mother wanted to buy something for the house (among other things), she relly wanted that, but I asked her and she said she doesn´t want to buy it anymore. Maybe she´s considering it, my father´s house, not their house.
Do you think this is just my imagination? I can´t really think of my father with someone else, never would have imagined.

6 Name: Anonym~ : 2007-02-01 20:56 ID:XDy9NUXM

Be frank, ask your Mother or Father about it.

Then see if you can help

7 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-02-01 21:58 ID:OxyRSbfH

Frigid Onanoko think, you need get thoughts structured. No need get in detail about situation for us here. You, best write down whole situation again. Use wordprocessor this time, structure logically, do grammar and spell check, reread. Restructure if necessary. It one of best ways to grasp own problem if got noone to consult with. FO advise this, then post result in thread.

Right now, story too unclear, leaving us guessing at too many places.

If you too lazy for this, >>6. its your life.

FO say goodbye now!

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-02 00:23 ID:H6LHnJHm

I think why they are all acting normal with you is because they don't want to upset you. Just be frank with them, you are not a kid, you can handle a conversation with them.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-02 01:59 ID:1OltETKN

I agree with >>2.

Approach them and be frank about it. Tell them you think there's something going on, and ask them to talk about it. Don't ask them to talk about it to you if they don't want to, but ask them to see a counselor if they're not comfortable if that's the case.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-02 05:51 ID:vhDExv2d

You do not know all the facts yet, so do not make assumptions. If he has been unfaithful what will you do? I think you are old enough to cope with this in a mature way. It is also best not to put yourself in the middle, it ill only hurt you more in the long run. Try to support your Mother and be there for her, as that is all you can do.

My father cheated on my Mother all throughout their marriage and even had an illegitimate child with another woman. He quickly got rid of her after the child was born and found another woman to sleep with while my Mother tried to please him in every way. In the end she finally kicked him out of the house and he killed himself some months later.

11 Name: Anonym~!u2azanJkqA : 2007-02-02 16:26 ID:XDy9NUXM

>>10 puts it in perfect sense.

Find out what exactly is going on, then get comforting.

12 Name: Kira : 2007-02-13 09:33 ID:aZ3SQDE0

Please stop posting those things... While people are posting something serious, you are just posting something stupid... Think about other's people's feelings... You prob. think this is all fun and games but it's not. Your prob. just laughing your ass off but this is no time for that. It's obvious that you have never fallen in love except with pigs... Which is sad...Because you must have a brain of a pig to like pigs so much. But we are not all pig human... So please be considerate to those with human hearts and brains. Thank you.

13 Name: Kira : 2007-02-13 09:33 ID:aZ3SQDE0

Please stop posting those things... While people are posting something serious, you are just posting something stupid... Think about other's people's feelings... You prob. think this is all fun and games but it's not. Your prob. just laughing your ass off but this is no time for that. It's obvious that you have never fallen in love except with pigs... Which is sad...Because you must have a brain of a pig to like pigs so much. But we are not all pig human... So please be considerate to those with human hearts and brains. Thank you.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-13 10:55 ID:PokClwUz

>>12 ??? r u emo or what? who are u even referring to?

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-14 17:36 ID:Heaven

>>12>>13
same person lol

16 Name: ND : 2007-07-23 01:04 ID:HGAVBg3O

What the hell is >>12 + >>13 saying?? Are they on crack? (O.o) Anyways, I'd say that comfort her without asking for details. When she's ready, she'll tell you. She needs your support.

Name: Link:
Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
More options...
Verification: