So, I loved this girl a lot. It was a long-distance relationship. It was going to be like three years before we could really live together. We are both virgins. She promised her virginity to me. We both had romantic ideals of lifelong love. I still do, that's my main shtick, I am a die-hard romantic and I'm saving my virginity even though I'm a guy. I don't care what anybody else says.
It started out with me being very idealistic and thinking it could work. Whenever I had any doubt my girlfriend would tell me she'd take care of my doubts, and that she believed in me and my ideals, and that three years wasn't long to wait because we'd grow old together anyways. It seemed perfect.
We talked every day. It never got old for me, to talk to her.
Two weeks ago it was her birthday. She was excited to see me draw her a picture for her birthday. It was a crappy drawing, but it was from my heart; it was a picture of me and her, stick figures, and me giving her a ring. She said it was cute and she loved it, then she said "brb" and I didn't hear from her for over a week.
I looked for her, tried to contact her in various ways.
Then I found out through a mutual contact, not even a mutual friend, that she didn't want to be with me anymore. I was heartbroken.
Another week passed and she said something to me, I asked her what she was thinking, she gave me zero answers about anything...
Later on I found out she was cheating on me, completely lost interest in me. When I asked her about that, she said "I'm going to lose my virginity to my new boyfriend and I'm going to call a suicide hotline so you don't kill yourself", then I told her I would not kill myself, but I told her I really wanted to die because of how painful that was, and then she said "Me and my new boyfriend are going to ride a canoe on your river of tears you manipulative asshole!" and then she blocked me.
That was just tonight.
Basically, I'm a poor 24 year old guy, and my highest ideal in life is to have a girl that will accept my love for a lifetime. She's also gotta be mostly white like me, and a virgin like me. Why the same race? Because I know what it's like to have NO ethnicity from being a bunch of different ethnicities; everybody just mistakes me for something I'm not. It's painful.
My standards are extremely stringent because of this.
This is just really hard, I will never let go of my beliefs, they are so readily criticized by everybody, and probably a lot by the people who browse here. I have endured years and years of criticism for this stuff, but I can't settle for less, there's no settling for less when it comes to ideals.
I really just needed to get this out...
If anybody has anything to say I'd appreciate it, but not if you're just telling me I'm stupid... I've had enough of that for a lifetime already...