im >>67

You're right, yes I'm completely pathetic. but I don't know how to stop it.
If I'm locked inside then nobody can hurt me and I cant hurt anyone.
I'm too paranoid,self conscious,anxious etc when im outside. I don't have PTSD but I do have most of the symptoms.
Because I experienced some traumatic events which I can't get over and I can't stop thinking about it.
And I feel completely disgusted and ashamed of myself.

I do want to go to university but theres no subject choices and I'm too introverted to make friends.
Even geeks and rejects don't like me, thats how rejected I am. lol.
Tonight I might try and go outside.

well my parents think I'm mentally unstable and insane but I'm not sure.
I actually think they're the ones who are insane. they have done bad things.