Hello. I was introduced to japanese porn a few years ago and I can honestly say I am glad I did. In japanese porn, I found people who expressed all the fetishes I like.
One of my absolute favorites though is bukkake.
In porno-movies, my main interest is the last seconds of an act ( the male orgasm ) and something turns me on seeing a woman completely drenched in intriguing liquids.
Me myself, I was teased all through elementary school because of my looks. I got acne real early, so I was very "unique" and i stood ouf of the crowd ( mainly due to other interests, like videogames etc. )
Now, I can honestly say I have never had a real girlfriend.
From my own point of view, my personality is very vulnerable, and I easily cry if offended. I have a big interest in computers, and usually spend most of my time doing nothing except watching porn at this stupid machine.
Now, my self-asteem is not that great, and while I do like people, I usually enjoy being by myself. It's secure and I don't have to handle interactions with people who might not like my existence.
My question is: Do you think my personality and my history can be the reason to why I like love bukkake so much? Am I a weak person who needs control, just because I feel insecure in public? Could this be a reason why I have had no luck with girls?
Also, am I sick for loving bukkake?
Please give good and encouraging answers.
Your not sick for loving bukkake. Your Masturbating which is a completly normal action, just dont let this completly normal action replace your social life. Get out there, if you don't believe in your self, a social life won't happen. There are people just like you out there, who are also looking for friends, go find them!
Some have described bukkake as a fetish culture beyond sex. Since the primary fetish focuses on a passive female humiliated by men, it has been called an expression of male insecurity and fear of loss of control.
-- says wikipedia.
So yes it is because you are insecure that you like bukkake and because of your insecurity it's harder for you to meet girls. Most likely you won't change but it just means that a more strong-minded and determined girl will come your way.
And imho, I don't think it's sick.
>>1
Sick? No.
Should never strive to get to experience bukkake IRL thanks to all of the STDs in the world? Yes.
Fantasies such as that work as a way of acting out emotions and problems inside of yourself. It's not sick, but you do need to do something about your insecurity (yes, I'm being Captain Obvious).
Your existence does not have to be justified, you have every bit as much of a right to exist as anyone else.
Hmm, try getting some help with how to deal with insecurity and the feeling of lack of self-worth (why else would you feel you have to justify your existence?) here for instance:
http://stevepavlina.com/forums/ The forums have a lot of clever, helpful people who often know exactly what they're talking about. Reading random threads probably will prove to be quite beneficial as well.
You probably should look into personal development. Lifehack.org tends to have practical articles. Steve Pavlina's PD blog (one PD blog of many on the vast intarwebs) is quite useful as well, though has gotten a tad hippie-ish lately. That's not a problem though: the archives are filled with useful, practical stuff.
random possibly useful article: "Five Principles for Happiness in 2007"
http://finance.yahoo.com/columnist/article/millionaire/18930
if you read articles anywhere that has comments, don't forget to read them.
You also should consider going to either therapy or similar. It may be useful to have someone professional help you. Do remember that there are many different styles amongst therapists, and that they're essentially human, even if extremely qualified such. So if one doesn't fit you, that doesn't mean that therapy in itself doesn't fit you. I think cognitive therapy might be good for you.
i like to see a woman completely drenched with mens piss. do you think my personality and my history can be the reason to why i love seeing it?