Time makes fools of us all (5)

1 Name: Anonymous Counsellor : 2023-01-19 20:05 ID:I+FpoC0h

I have been thinking a lot about my past recently, which is uncharacteristic of me. But I've realized that I really went through some sort of "psychic break" when I was 22-23.
My entire life can be characterized by pre-13 childhood ignorance, a long 13-22 neurotic teenagehood, and then a belated 23+ adulthood.
I went through so much more since I turned 23. Got an actual job, moved out, found love, lost that love, found a deeper connection, lived together, got engaged, went to study, got a real job and started a career... So, so much had happened in that time... But it all feels like it was me. The actual me, who is typing this right now, at 29 years old.
But when I think back to my memories as a highschool student or my NEET years, that all feels like a completely different person. I was so insecure, so inward-focus, so lost in a constructed personality I've made for myself, so deeply engaged in a virtual world and hobbies I now care not about.

And now I come back here, to 4-ch and DQN, which I used to frequent back in 2013-2014. It's a very weird feeling. I wonder how many other anonymous posters have went through a journey similar to my own.

2 Name: Anonymous Counsellor : 2023-01-19 23:30 ID:Heaven

I vaguely remember a DQN poster talking about getting a "real" desk job, let me see if I can find the post.

As for me I think I'm in the middle of it, I'll have to report back in a few years.

3 Name: Anonymous Counsellor : 2023-01-20 08:49 ID:3cXpD5XQ

>>1
We have the same time frames of initial age that affected us. For example the comment of your life being characterized by your pre-13 childhood is very similar to my own. I felt like my entire teenage years was very neurotic in nature to the point where I didn't even feel like I entered adulthood until I was 22. Then is when my life started to slowdown and I wasn't me anymore. I became something else a former shell of who I was before. I've also went through a lot more "hell" if you would since then. Became a depressed NEET, lost my parents, and stuck at dead end jobs. Becoming poorer than shit and making some of the worst financial decisions in my entire life. Losing all motivation in the things I used to love. Such as gaming. One thing though that's majorly different is visiting boards like these. I used to only frequent them in the past and after turning 23 I more or less have lived on them. I'm now in my 30s and finally I have been getting on less. Practically in a way forcing myself to limit my usage. It's been my main form of socialization at least since the mid 2010s.

4 Name: Anonymous Counsellor : 2023-01-20 19:59 ID:Heaven

I remember somebody asking, "If you will be slowly replacing every fragment of a boat one by one, will it still be the same boat by the end of this?". No guarantee that brains don't work similarly, getting rebuilt again and again as we grow.

5 Name: Anonymous Counsellor : 2023-01-29 05:48 ID:Wchemb7y

>>1
I've had the opposite journey basically. I went through a phase beginning in 2016-2017 where I quit using sites like this, anime, gaming, imageboards etc. I got a real job, my own place, etc. but I still don't feel part of normal society, I still feel ostracized and stressed out by the "real world." It's like I tried being normal and ordinary, but still managed to fuck it up somehow. So I just retreated back to that inward world of weird hobbies, anime, manga, killing time on chan sites etc. That being said, it isn't as obsessive and doesn't dominate my life the way it did in my teen years. It's more like that virtual world is a comfortable place I retreat to from time to time.

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