I fucking hate baseball. Goddamn this shit pisses me off. A bunch of goddamn American idiots running around, uncivilized, with the sole purpose of running around a diamond. Remember when the world's sport was cricket? For fuck's sake, even I think it may have just been a dream. There was a civilized, gentlemanly atmosphere in cricket. Sure it may have also just revolved around scoring points, but at least cricket was geometrically sound, going the shortest distance between two points instead of in what amounted to a crooked circle. Every player was a tea-drinking blueblood, and on top of that, was part of a greater aristocracy meant to show the lesser classes how games were truly played. Physical injury? Fuck, it was considered in horridly bad taste to get injured during the game, even more so if it happened intentionally, because one would be shunned by society if it happened. There were no women at all, people stayed quiet during the game to allow the players greater concentration, rather than yelling constantly, and since the civilized, logical players were all socialist, commercialism was unheard of. Rememeber "Tea, crumpets, and a wicket?" Fuck no, you don't. Even I can't remember when this finery was last brought to my attention. Now it's "Baseball, Mom, and Applie Pie." BLASPHEMY! This is the reason why games are so pathetically low-brow now. Because all of the uncivilized dregs of society are glorified, the queen's drink is shunned upon, and the underdog is now taken into consideration instead of being rooted out by social Darwinism like he should be.

There. Finished. God, but this was a stupid rant in the first place. Makes it a lot harder to satirize.