I want to know why nobody advocates teen sex. It's a typical face-off between the Republicans taking the radical "our way or the highway" stance and actually making laws get passed, and the Democrats being all wussy and saying "welllll I guess I agree with you that sex is evil and a sin, but kids should have the right to education anyway." And then they wonder why their kids are such insecure geeks.

I'm going to call my political organization "Promiscuity Now!". We'll fight for free condoms in schools, not "just in case", but because we want to see free love practiced in the halls. Yeah, we're gonna be taking names and kicking ass.